I wish to apologise that I cannot continue "Around the campus in eight blogs" due to the fact that I have no reason to procrastinate and write blogs. Until next week...
On the 4th of August, the dreaded day has come where we students rush to the bookshop to fight over the last copies of books "Required" (Opened once or twice in class and glanced at during revision for exams at least 3 times.) and occasionally spashing out on the "Recomended" (Found on eBay, and listed as "New and unread" in 17 weeks time.) Our sleep patterns return from the 1am to 11am sleep, to the 1am to 10.50am sleep. In diaries "Parties" and "Nightclubs" get replaced with "Lectures" and "Tutorials" and finally bags are packed with notepaper.
It is at this time that we realise for the next 17 weeks, comes that inconvenient part of student life, known as "being a student." As the completion of first semester joys end like the setting sun, we first yearers know, it only gets harder from here. Second semester means no Foundation Unit, this is all contributing towards your degree now, and you have to understand and pass all of it or otherwise this whole place seems like a waste of time and, well, it all seems very serious. BUT FEAR NOT! People you know are still there, that creepy tutor with the lazy eye is still there and, most importantly, the refectory is still there.
So to all the students, good luck this semester
To all those wanting a longer blog, wait till I have an excuse to write blogs (Last minute assesments.)
And to all those expecting a graffeti of the week, it's right here
Join us, we are the group who will show you the truth, we will show you the world for what it is, and most importantly, what it will become. <-- Bloody MITS.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
Another inexcusably late Round the campus in eight blogs
So yeah, here we are, 17 days away from the start of semester and you want another 6 blogs about campus amenities? Well, before you get too acquainted with Murdoch has on offer, you should know that Mid year entry is open, There's this handy link http://www.murdoch.edu.au/Future-students/School-students/Figure-out-your-life/ if you don't know how you're going to waste post-uni life and the Murdoch Open day is coming up (31st August. Please Go. Then I won't have to write any more of this, unless of course you can't get there, or is doing external studyings, Then this blog is for you.)
The "MURDOCH OPEN DAY EXPERIENCE FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN'T GET THERE" blog.
Okay, so there's a whole lot of things in bush court, like caravans, and music, and illegally parked cars... and second/third/four year students who wanted a legit reason to get out of studies. There are signs up to various places and timetables for various speeches and things to look at and experience. In each relevant subject and then in the library there's tours and a few help sessions for what uni is going to be like and activities to win stuff , and a whole lot of first year students who want to intimidate the newbies by looking important by studying.
So, you'll may meet some students who are working too hard to be classified as "Students", teachers who do research when there not in lectures, teachers AND students who are in the ref when they should be in lectures.
But no one can tell you what uni is going to be like for you. Only you can decide that. Will you become studious and get to sit/walk across a stage in three/four/five years? I hope so. The uni open day will only show you where this experience will be taking place (and other places besides Sir Walter's Cafe.)
AND REALLY: all the parents are lost, and the whole thing is one big ad, and by the end of it, some smart Alec (not necessarily named "Alec") has scrolled on some toilet door "Geez this sucks compared to Curtin."
(And I wonder why she came all the way from Melbourne to write that.)
The "MURDOCH OPEN DAY EXPERIENCE FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN'T GET THERE" blog.
Okay, so there's a whole lot of things in bush court, like caravans, and music, and illegally parked cars... and second/third/four year students who wanted a legit reason to get out of studies. There are signs up to various places and timetables for various speeches and things to look at and experience. In each relevant subject and then in the library there's tours and a few help sessions for what uni is going to be like and activities to win stuff , and a whole lot of first year students who want to intimidate the newbies by looking important by studying.
So, you'll may meet some students who are working too hard to be classified as "Students", teachers who do research when there not in lectures, teachers AND students who are in the ref when they should be in lectures.
But no one can tell you what uni is going to be like for you. Only you can decide that. Will you become studious and get to sit/walk across a stage in three/four/five years? I hope so. The uni open day will only show you where this experience will be taking place (and other places besides Sir Walter's Cafe.)
AND REALLY: all the parents are lost, and the whole thing is one big ad, and by the end of it, some smart Alec (not necessarily named "Alec") has scrolled on some toilet door "Geez this sucks compared to Curtin."
(And I wonder why she came all the way from Melbourne to write that.)
Friday, June 20, 2008
What you got there, a furball? 2/8 (or 1/4 or .25/1) ep of "Around the campus in 8 blogs"
An Apology: Several remarks in my last blog have been considered "offensive" by a reader. So, for a repayment for defemation of character and slander (and some libel, but she doesn't know about that yet.) I wish to formally state that doing an arts degree is not in the least bit wrong in anyway, honours students should be commended for their dedication to their studies, people who work in the tax office are working for a government organisation & therefore benifiting us all.
If you currently do not own something, but are instead are loaning it untill either you no longer require it, or have the nessesary funds to own it,the current owner of that item should not be singled out in a public forum for humour purposes and the way in which the item is used should only be exchanged to that person in private communications.
All this however does not apply due to the fact that this is a blog and no one gives a crap what is said in it.
PREVIOUSLY ON DAULMURDOCH...
"So i've decided to write 8 blogs about the campus"
"What do you mean cut the blue wire, THEY'RE ALL BLUE!!!"
and
"but right now head towards Loneragen,"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Loneragen post -OR- That vending machine is totally placed there to tempt students.
Nested behind the science block, next to biomedical science you will find.... The science lecture theatre. But as with all lecture thetres, this one has a terrible temperature, reeks of hair gel and cheap deoderent as well as seats specifically built to slide off if the user falls asleep, disturbing the rest of the class.
But this lecture theatre is special. it has not one but TWO special features!
1. An unprenoucable name!
2. A clock!
These may not sound like much, but in student life, any distraction is a good distraction.
The name: One of the guarrenteed conversation starters of first year students is how to pronouce this name. We can break down three ways how to say any word of the english language
a) Phonetically: The name is spelt Loneragen, this being pronounced as Lone-Ragen (Lone: Singularity & Ragan: Somebody who ran America)
b)Like a third year student: Achieving this is simple,
1. Walk up to someone whose books are much larger than yours.
2. Ask them how to pronouce it
generally they will give the response Long-Ree-Gin. (Long: A far far way to run, Ree: A drink of jam and bread that will bring us back to do-ti-do, Gin: The drink you consummed so this blog would make sense.)
c) Say Lon-gin-gan (with someone on standby to stop you hacking up your own lung.)
Now that we've got that setteled, we will move onto a much more important matter,
2.why the hell is there a clock in Longingan?
For all the people reading this who haven't been to uni yet, lectures are long speaches about a single topic that you're suppose to understand. This forces your mind to wander. How many bricks are in that wall? How many chairs are there in here? How many people are making out? (Best. Lecture. Ever. Period.) and most importantly What time is it? Now irronically the only reason you ask this question to yourself, is because you don't want to know what the time is, otherwise you'll be scribbling on the desk working out how many seconds till the end of the lecture. But in longreegin, it's possible. OH WHY OH WHY. The end result is a graffitti of the week like know other.
Graffitti of the week:
The graffitti of the desk i normally sit in in Loneragen:
1 hour 5 minutes till end of lecture.
65 MINUTES.
65
X60
00
3900
3900... 3899... 3898... 3897...
Meanwhile, in the wind the door silently creaks open, you turn slightly and in the deafening brightness of the light outside your real goal comes into view - A Crunch bar, sitting in the vending machine accross from you, the lecture finishes, you quickly sprint outside, just to find its been swiped by the lecturer minutes before.
OH CRUEL FATE, WHY DO YOU MOCK ME.
So, as I lie in wait for the machine to be refilled, which ever of death, banning from the network, or someone with a cruch that I can easily pickpocket arrives first, Goodbye.
If you currently do not own something, but are instead are loaning it untill either you no longer require it, or have the nessesary funds to own it,the current owner of that item should not be singled out in a public forum for humour purposes and the way in which the item is used should only be exchanged to that person in private communications.
All this however does not apply due to the fact that this is a blog and no one gives a crap what is said in it.
PREVIOUSLY ON DAULMURDOCH...
"So i've decided to write 8 blogs about the campus"
"What do you mean cut the blue wire, THEY'RE ALL BLUE!!!"
and
"but right now head towards Loneragen,"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Loneragen post -OR- That vending machine is totally placed there to tempt students.
Nested behind the science block, next to biomedical science you will find.... The science lecture theatre. But as with all lecture thetres, this one has a terrible temperature, reeks of hair gel and cheap deoderent as well as seats specifically built to slide off if the user falls asleep, disturbing the rest of the class.
But this lecture theatre is special. it has not one but TWO special features!
1. An unprenoucable name!
2. A clock!
These may not sound like much, but in student life, any distraction is a good distraction.
The name: One of the guarrenteed conversation starters of first year students is how to pronouce this name. We can break down three ways how to say any word of the english language
a) Phonetically: The name is spelt Loneragen, this being pronounced as Lone-Ragen (Lone: Singularity & Ragan: Somebody who ran America)
b)Like a third year student: Achieving this is simple,
1. Walk up to someone whose books are much larger than yours.
2. Ask them how to pronouce it
generally they will give the response Long-Ree-Gin. (Long: A far far way to run, Ree: A drink of jam and bread that will bring us back to do-ti-do, Gin: The drink you consummed so this blog would make sense.)
c) Say Lon-gin-gan (with someone on standby to stop you hacking up your own lung.)
Now that we've got that setteled, we will move onto a much more important matter,
2.why the hell is there a clock in Longingan?
For all the people reading this who haven't been to uni yet, lectures are long speaches about a single topic that you're suppose to understand. This forces your mind to wander. How many bricks are in that wall? How many chairs are there in here? How many people are making out? (Best. Lecture. Ever. Period.) and most importantly What time is it? Now irronically the only reason you ask this question to yourself, is because you don't want to know what the time is, otherwise you'll be scribbling on the desk working out how many seconds till the end of the lecture. But in longreegin, it's possible. OH WHY OH WHY. The end result is a graffitti of the week like know other.
Graffitti of the week:
The graffitti of the desk i normally sit in in Loneragen:
1 hour 5 minutes till end of lecture.
65 MINUTES.
65
X60
00
3900
3900... 3899... 3898... 3897...
Meanwhile, in the wind the door silently creaks open, you turn slightly and in the deafening brightness of the light outside your real goal comes into view - A Crunch bar, sitting in the vending machine accross from you, the lecture finishes, you quickly sprint outside, just to find its been swiped by the lecturer minutes before.
OH CRUEL FATE, WHY DO YOU MOCK ME.
So, as I lie in wait for the machine to be refilled, which ever of death, banning from the network, or someone with a cruch that I can easily pickpocket arrives first, Goodbye.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
AROUND THE CAMPUS IN EIGHT BLOGS: Issue 1/8 the boxes of bush court
Hmm, it appears I've misread my contract, APPARENTLY, this is suppose to be about uni.
But i'm on break at the moment, so it's hard to write about uni when there is none, except that the best time of uni is when you're not there.
Anyway, I thought i'd get back-on-track with eight blogs about random parts of the campus - first dealing with the main area bush court.
AND NOW... OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION: "tHE bOXES.." wAIT a SEcOND, "The Boxes of Bush Court."
As you enter uni from south street and providing that you're near carpark three, and haven't found the tavern or the student services building, there's a highly likely chance that you've found bushcourt. (If there isn't grass where you're standing, check that you're at the right Murdoch campus, maybe check that you're in the right country.) This big grassy plain acts as a place to sit when you've forgotten your timetable, want to see some grass or have spend a little bit too long at the tavern and want to get stuff of your chest, so to speak. I'm referring to vomit if anybody missed that. So now that your here, let me give you a tour if you turn to your right so that you are facing the Refectory, you will now see the refectory. The refectory houses overpriced re-heated goods that are classed as "uni food" when I described Murdoch as "having the best food" what i meant to say was "Some of the food does not require the use of a stomach pump." If you are getting bored of bush court, or just want to skip a Tute, head here. Chances are, your tutor will be here to for the same reason.
Heading to the hole in the wall beside the Refectory you will discover the reasons behind one of the reasons that you as a uni student have no money. It's called the bookshop. The bookshop is the place to find that they are out of stock of all the books you need for next semester. However, this place can get you some cred, just hang out by the medical section and pretend you do PSY700 even though you're holding "Invitation to Computer Science"
Moving right along. Hey look, there's the Social Sciences building. What weirdos do that? Then do honours? Then go and work in the Taxation office? Then keep emailing me cause technically that's slander?
Let's take a left here and head to the library. Now if you go near the uni often you might go outside the library. Now, as the library contains "Murdoch Print" they use a heck of a lot of paper. this paper arrives in boxes. BOXES THEY GIVE AWAY FOR FREE that's right. YOU TOO CAN SCORE A FREE BOX. This offer must be so popular that they have to actually put up a sign says "free boxes" to make people take them. Honestly, why don't they sell them, my market research shows that the average number of boxes out there could fetch up to $AUD0.88 per box on the open market. This is also one of the few places IN THE WORLD where you don't have to sign a contract to get something free. Seriously, that means you can do ANYTHING with this box!! You can wear it, you can throw it at someone, you can have it slide around in the boot of your (technically still your sisters') car! YOU CAN EVEN PUT IT BACK IN THE PILE. The possibilities are endless. More on things you can do in the library in a later blog, but right now head down towards Loneragan, then take a sharp turn so you almost walk into Sta Travel, turn a bit to the left, a lot to the right and you might see either The guild and second hand book shop, some toilets or a cow if you ended up in veterinary sciences.
The second hand bookshop is pretty good for old editions of book you need, the toilets are handy for defecation, conception (or non conception providing you have change), great graffiti and a hand dryer and the cows, they're open for all to lightly push.
Finally, i'll touch on the chancellery, this is a great place if you need to sort anything out, unless you're an international student, in this case do a 180 and head towards international student office.
(Amend Graffiti of the week here when I can be bothered going to uni.)
If you're wondering, this blog took 1h 22 minutes to write, the next 7 might not be as long, so I hope i didn't waste any of your time writing it. Untill I make the next one and/or until I get banned from the network,
Goodbye.
But i'm on break at the moment, so it's hard to write about uni when there is none, except that the best time of uni is when you're not there.
Anyway, I thought i'd get back-on-track with eight blogs about random parts of the campus - first dealing with the main area bush court.
AND NOW... OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION: "tHE bOXES.." wAIT a SEcOND, "The Boxes of Bush Court."
As you enter uni from south street and providing that you're near carpark three, and haven't found the tavern or the student services building, there's a highly likely chance that you've found bushcourt. (If there isn't grass where you're standing, check that you're at the right Murdoch campus, maybe check that you're in the right country.) This big grassy plain acts as a place to sit when you've forgotten your timetable, want to see some grass or have spend a little bit too long at the tavern and want to get stuff of your chest, so to speak. I'm referring to vomit if anybody missed that. So now that your here, let me give you a tour if you turn to your right so that you are facing the Refectory, you will now see the refectory. The refectory houses overpriced re-heated goods that are classed as "uni food" when I described Murdoch as "having the best food" what i meant to say was "Some of the food does not require the use of a stomach pump." If you are getting bored of bush court, or just want to skip a Tute, head here. Chances are, your tutor will be here to for the same reason.
Heading to the hole in the wall beside the Refectory you will discover the reasons behind one of the reasons that you as a uni student have no money. It's called the bookshop. The bookshop is the place to find that they are out of stock of all the books you need for next semester. However, this place can get you some cred, just hang out by the medical section and pretend you do PSY700 even though you're holding "Invitation to Computer Science"
Moving right along. Hey look, there's the Social Sciences building. What weirdos do that? Then do honours? Then go and work in the Taxation office? Then keep emailing me cause technically that's slander?
Let's take a left here and head to the library. Now if you go near the uni often you might go outside the library. Now, as the library contains "Murdoch Print" they use a heck of a lot of paper. this paper arrives in boxes. BOXES THEY GIVE AWAY FOR FREE that's right. YOU TOO CAN SCORE A FREE BOX. This offer must be so popular that they have to actually put up a sign says "free boxes" to make people take them. Honestly, why don't they sell them, my market research shows that the average number of boxes out there could fetch up to $AUD0.88 per box on the open market. This is also one of the few places IN THE WORLD where you don't have to sign a contract to get something free. Seriously, that means you can do ANYTHING with this box!! You can wear it, you can throw it at someone, you can have it slide around in the boot of your (technically still your sisters') car! YOU CAN EVEN PUT IT BACK IN THE PILE. The possibilities are endless. More on things you can do in the library in a later blog, but right now head down towards Loneragan, then take a sharp turn so you almost walk into Sta Travel, turn a bit to the left, a lot to the right and you might see either The guild and second hand book shop, some toilets or a cow if you ended up in veterinary sciences.
The second hand bookshop is pretty good for old editions of book you need, the toilets are handy for defecation, conception (or non conception providing you have change), great graffiti and a hand dryer and the cows, they're open for all to lightly push.
Finally, i'll touch on the chancellery, this is a great place if you need to sort anything out, unless you're an international student, in this case do a 180 and head towards international student office.
(Amend Graffiti of the week here when I can be bothered going to uni.)
If you're wondering, this blog took 1h 22 minutes to write, the next 7 might not be as long, so I hope i didn't waste any of your time writing it. Untill I make the next one and/or until I get banned from the network,
Goodbye.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Chat with random
Random: Hey, are you that blogger, that does disorderly accounts of uni life?
Lachlan: Well, the title IS copyrighted, but I'll let you off this once
R:Anyway, I notice you haven't posted in a while, what have you been doing
L:Well, finishing assignments, attempting study, just trying to pass semester one uni, tis all.
R:You signed an agreement, dude.
L:HEY, I sign a lot of things, I didn't know they were going to put the photos into an art museum, I just thought they were going to deliver them to me like normal.
R:Huh?
L:What?
R:Did you..?
L: Che?
R: Nevermind, um, so, you going to POST ever again?
L: HELL YEAH! or otherwise someone from student services will hunt me down and do unspeakable things to my frontal lobe.
R: ouch.
L:EXACTLY, so I'm planning "Project Hinenburg"
R: WHAT? Your going to light a bunch of gas vapours and kill a bunch of people?
L: No, I'm just...
R: Building a new type of air ship, to invite people on, light a bunch of gas vapours and let people fall to there doom??
L: NO, I'm just planning on posting a lot of blogs during semester break?
R:Oh, so why are you calling it "Project Hinenburg" Why don't you just post a note on your blog saying "I'll be writing a buch of posts in a few weeks."
L:Cause I want it to be a suprise.
R:You know what, i'm just going to go ahead and hit you now.
L:AHA! YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON WHOSE TRIED TO HIT ME?? THAT'S WHY I WEAR THIS BULLET PROOF VEST! Um, you might want to get that hand looked at, I don't think it's suppose to bend like that....
----------------------------------
Project Hindiburg commencing soon! Eight Blogs! Eight Weeks! One Winner!
Lachlan: Well, the title IS copyrighted, but I'll let you off this once
R:Anyway, I notice you haven't posted in a while, what have you been doing
L:Well, finishing assignments, attempting study, just trying to pass semester one uni, tis all.
R:You signed an agreement, dude.
L:HEY, I sign a lot of things, I didn't know they were going to put the photos into an art museum, I just thought they were going to deliver them to me like normal.
R:Huh?
L:What?
R:Did you..?
L: Che?
R: Nevermind, um, so, you going to POST ever again?
L: HELL YEAH! or otherwise someone from student services will hunt me down and do unspeakable things to my frontal lobe.
R: ouch.
L:EXACTLY, so I'm planning "Project Hinenburg"
R: WHAT? Your going to light a bunch of gas vapours and kill a bunch of people?
L: No, I'm just...
R: Building a new type of air ship, to invite people on, light a bunch of gas vapours and let people fall to there doom??
L: NO, I'm just planning on posting a lot of blogs during semester break?
R:Oh, so why are you calling it "Project Hinenburg" Why don't you just post a note on your blog saying "I'll be writing a buch of posts in a few weeks."
L:Cause I want it to be a suprise.
R:You know what, i'm just going to go ahead and hit you now.
L:AHA! YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON WHOSE TRIED TO HIT ME?? THAT'S WHY I WEAR THIS BULLET PROOF VEST! Um, you might want to get that hand looked at, I don't think it's suppose to bend like that....
----------------------------------
Project Hindiburg commencing soon! Eight Blogs! Eight Weeks! One Winner!
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Bus stop etiqutte (no, I can't believe it's spelt that way either.) NOW SPEL CHEKED!
Greetings loyal reader! (Hey Sean. Sean? SEAN?? WHERE ARE YOU?? NO, NOT YOU AS WELL!!!!!)
ahem.
Anyway,
I had a shock on Tuesday. My car, wasn't where I thought I parked it, I just stared blankly at the empty space until I got hit by car coming down the road. (No, unfortunately it wasn't Christian. It was just someone who wanted the parking space.)It was at this moment that I realised that I'd come by bus. I'd come by bus most of semester. And will come by bus tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that. But not the day after that, cause that was yesterday which is Saturday. And I wouldn't be coming by bus today in five days time as it is Sunday. It wouldn't be until 6 days after today's tomorrow that I will be coming on Monday. Provided that nothing happens tonight (today.) that will be preventing me to go there tomorrow, in 6 days time.
Meanwhile, back at 5 days ago, today, I had realised that at the bus stop that there are routines and strict guidelines whilst waiting for the inevitable silver and green to come down to the stop. Unfortunately, today it would not be raining mountain dew, but today, I would make some notes that will inevitably, lead to a better Trasperth system.
Bus Stop Etiquette
When nearing South Street, your bus will appear from nowhere with a heard of cars long enough that even if you do a runner, you will miss it. Within about 1 minute, others will compound at the bus stop, it is impolite to attempt to communicate with them, in doing this will cause a giant rip in space/time causing all of the universe (including the bus stop) to be compacted into a blob of mass about the size and shape of a tennis ball, before rolling off into one of the side pockets, leaving only the cue ball on the table.
Seriously, if you're still reading after the confusing day thing, I will give you a moose.
Okay, NOW this blog has just gotten to stupid and you've stopped reading. Everybody gone? Okay then, let's continue
The only way you can acknowledge these people is with a glance no longer than 2 seconds. Any longer than this will cause weird stare back at you and you won't know what to do. These glances are not really necessary, it's just in case one of them does something exciting, like have an Spontaneously combust, Nobody will do any if you do spontaneously combust, it will just means that the other bus stop people will have one less person to look at.
To be polite as bus stops there is only one other things that needs to be done. The timetable check. Every three minutes, it is the norm to go over and look at the bus stop for the time the next bus stop will come, look at your watch, look at the bus stop again, look to where the bus will come from and then walk back to your original position, recommencing the looking at the random people who stand around at bus stops.
------two hours later------
Well, I wonder what I was on when I wrote that, anyway, it's time for Graffiti of the week, this week sent by another first year blogger, Kacy, who wins a pencil case for all those receipts, bent paper clips and little bits of grey stuff that always comes with pencil cases. HOORAY!! Next week's best submission will receive one of those plastic things that fits on the end of a hose.
"You shouldn't mess with the occult."
"I thought it was good for you"
"What?"
"Like for your digestive system"
"That's Yakult"
Because you can't mess with the Lactobacillus casei.
Anyway, my ranting is over for another week.
Yes I am perfectly aware this wasn't as funny as the timeline. email me ideas for graffiti, uni life and various other nonsense I can complain about in this blog at 30788034@student.murdoch.edu.au and you too can be a proud owner of something random I found in my dad's shed!
ahem.
Anyway,
I had a shock on Tuesday. My car, wasn't where I thought I parked it, I just stared blankly at the empty space until I got hit by car coming down the road. (No, unfortunately it wasn't Christian. It was just someone who wanted the parking space.)It was at this moment that I realised that I'd come by bus. I'd come by bus most of semester. And will come by bus tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that. But not the day after that, cause that was yesterday which is Saturday. And I wouldn't be coming by bus today in five days time as it is Sunday. It wouldn't be until 6 days after today's tomorrow that I will be coming on Monday. Provided that nothing happens tonight (today.) that will be preventing me to go there tomorrow, in 6 days time.
Meanwhile, back at 5 days ago, today, I had realised that at the bus stop that there are routines and strict guidelines whilst waiting for the inevitable silver and green to come down to the stop. Unfortunately, today it would not be raining mountain dew, but today, I would make some notes that will inevitably, lead to a better Trasperth system.
Bus Stop Etiquette
When nearing South Street, your bus will appear from nowhere with a heard of cars long enough that even if you do a runner, you will miss it. Within about 1 minute, others will compound at the bus stop, it is impolite to attempt to communicate with them, in doing this will cause a giant rip in space/time causing all of the universe (including the bus stop) to be compacted into a blob of mass about the size and shape of a tennis ball, before rolling off into one of the side pockets, leaving only the cue ball on the table.
Seriously, if you're still reading after the confusing day thing, I will give you a moose.
Okay, NOW this blog has just gotten to stupid and you've stopped reading. Everybody gone? Okay then, let's continue
The only way you can acknowledge these people is with a glance no longer than 2 seconds. Any longer than this will cause weird stare back at you and you won't know what to do. These glances are not really necessary, it's just in case one of them does something exciting, like have an Spontaneously combust, Nobody will do any if you do spontaneously combust, it will just means that the other bus stop people will have one less person to look at.
To be polite as bus stops there is only one other things that needs to be done. The timetable check. Every three minutes, it is the norm to go over and look at the bus stop for the time the next bus stop will come, look at your watch, look at the bus stop again, look to where the bus will come from and then walk back to your original position, recommencing the looking at the random people who stand around at bus stops.
------two hours later------
Well, I wonder what I was on when I wrote that, anyway, it's time for Graffiti of the week, this week sent by another first year blogger, Kacy, who wins a pencil case for all those receipts, bent paper clips and little bits of grey stuff that always comes with pencil cases. HOORAY!! Next week's best submission will receive one of those plastic things that fits on the end of a hose.
"You shouldn't mess with the occult."
"I thought it was good for you"
"What?"
"Like for your digestive system"
"That's Yakult"
Because you can't mess with the Lactobacillus casei.
Anyway, my ranting is over for another week.
Yes I am perfectly aware this wasn't as funny as the timeline. email me ideas for graffiti, uni life and various other nonsense I can complain about in this blog at 30788034@student.murdoch.edu.au and you too can be a proud owner of something random I found in my dad's shed!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
w00t! Holidays!
I always thought the beginning of holidays (or at uni called a "Study break" but seriously, I say Ta-mah-to weirdos say To-Mar-to.) was like the end of season cliff hanger for some soapie. Seriously, you're sitting there lecturer says "see you in a week" and than it kicks in that have a few days off, then it kicks in you don't know what the heck is due at the end of it. So you stare into the middle distance while you decide if you should go home, or go find your lecturers. (Trust me, they'll nearly ALWAYS be there. What's so special about doing a PhD anyway? It's just an essay which somebody decided to have a ridiculously high word limit. They end the same as a 1,000 word essay. "My statement was correct 'cause I nicked, sorry, referenced, it from someone else.") Meanwhile, while your brain was going through all this the lecturer has since left the theatre, turned the light out and you don't know where the exit is and yes, the air conditioning in KBLT (This week, will be referenced to as Kicked BeLow The belt.) NEVER TURNS OFF. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME. IT'S FREAKIN' COLD IN THERE. ALWAYS. They should sell jumpers at Kajini, they'd make a fortune.
Back to the occasionally referenced centeral topic. (If you're reading this Mr Hunter, yes my tangents are always. AND grammatically incorrect!) This time, I went home. I mean there is another 9 toes to fracture if something due on the 28th. So now I've read pages of unit outlines and course details to find what's due. My advice to you (WOW. SOMETHING USEFUL IN A BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) is draw up a time table each semester and mark when stuff is due. I did it, it's fantastic, I can know exactly when to organise my excuses.
Inconclusively, I would like to state this blog was a failed attempt at combining three non related jokes. Thank you my devoted fan!
******************Stop scroll readers who just want "Graffiti of the week"*************
It's hard to find good graffiti when your not at uni, So I searched around at home and found the only written thing I could.
Shopping list for 26th Feb.
1x 500g Choc Chips
2x 4L of Prune juice
1x Pineapple
5x Tequila 1.25L
Some potato chips. <----- that was one AWESOME weekend.
**Note: anyone who objects to me using the word "freakin'" Please send an email to funneydude@gmail.com with the subject "word use complaint" If three email are recieved I will remove all uses and not use such words in the future. Unless the email are sent by Jamie Potts. In that case, Go to hell (Or at least Jamieland.).
Untill I get banned from the network, or sued for copywrite infringment, or run out of prune juice,
good bye.
Back to the occasionally referenced centeral topic. (If you're reading this Mr Hunter, yes my tangents are always. AND grammatically incorrect!) This time, I went home. I mean there is another 9 toes to fracture if something due on the 28th. So now I've read pages of unit outlines and course details to find what's due. My advice to you (WOW. SOMETHING USEFUL IN A BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) is draw up a time table each semester and mark when stuff is due. I did it, it's fantastic, I can know exactly when to organise my excuses.
Inconclusively, I would like to state this blog was a failed attempt at combining three non related jokes. Thank you my devoted fan!
******************Stop scroll readers who just want "Graffiti of the week"*************
It's hard to find good graffiti when your not at uni, So I searched around at home and found the only written thing I could.
Shopping list for 26th Feb.
1x 500g Choc Chips
2x 4L of Prune juice
1x Pineapple
5x Tequila 1.25L
Some potato chips. <----- that was one AWESOME weekend.
**Note: anyone who objects to me using the word "freakin'" Please send an email to funneydude@gmail.com with the subject "word use complaint" If three email are recieved I will remove all uses and not use such words in the future. Unless the email are sent by Jamie Potts. In that case, Go to hell (Or at least Jamieland.).
Untill I get banned from the network, or sued for copywrite infringment, or run out of prune juice,
good bye.
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