My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.
The Good News! In second and third year, you only have to do 3 units, instead of 4!
The Bad News! They're harder!
The Worse News! My Link's back up!
The Worst News! The current first year blogger page will be changed to a second year bloggers page, meaning I'm going to be there for another year, and scored another parking permit, which I really haven't earned.
So, you claim you wish to hear about how my uni life is going?
Well let's get the boring but necessary things out of the way first, units are harder, but more interesting.. Do Cyber Forensics.. 7 assessments but worth it.
And now the more important things. There's new bins!
Why do I know this is important? It was commented on by the GUILD!! Strangely enough, one of the few groups who haven't yet tried to ban me from uni. And you know when new bins are a hotter topic then an awesome blog you know they have some weird priorities. Well, I guess I'm not the highest paid blogger in Australia.
So what exactly is the guild?
The guild is a group of students that help with making sure the students get treated fairly. So the idea is in the right place. They help disadvantaged students with any problems they are experiencing with uni such as finance, unfair grading, and they built a nice common room hidden next to the gym for students to chill on comfy chairs, get some free essentials that they might of run out of, recharge their laptops and make out. (Can somebody make a sign for this. Imagine, walking along, walking along, walking along, walking along, ohh, comfy chairs! Let's go in there! Oh.
Oh.)
They have multiple programs, fund raisers and organise some really fun events.
Now can I start the slander?
Oh please?!
How bout now? Keep it light? hmmph. Okay.
It's just you have three options.
Financial member. Only tick this option if you like coffee. And don't mind supporting on campus coffee.
Free Member. It's like saying to the guy fund raising for Panda rights "I like what you're doing, it's just I'm a uni student with no money."
Not A Member. "Screw you guys, that building could be used for more important things, and I lost at Assassin, so guess what I'm not going to have anything to do with you!"
But I mean, my opinion of them is based on the fact that I didn't really care that our semester got shorter or that the top guy of the uni (Vice Chancellor) wanted more money. Money can't buy happiness, he's lonely and wanted something to make him happy.
Heh, Heh, VC's a loner. So First Yearer's don't feel so bad, the head of the school can't make freinds, I mean he gets paid $750,000 a year but I bet he doesn't know where ECL2.005 (level two of the big block beside the learning common, second floor, go in the sliding door that is closest to the guild/amenities building, first door on the right.) is either. Someone should photoshop him to look like Gargemel from "The Smurfs"
What's that? Yeah, I know I've already gone on about the Guild and last years addiction to the VC in an older blog, but it's something first yearers need to know.
Also everyone is approachable, lecturers, tutors, students, that girl I'm stalking doing accounting.
Second Year is only different cause the lecturers, tutors, students and that girl I'm stalking doing accounting is expecting more out you, after all, you past first year, so you're wanting to be here for the long haul. You'll need to do more work, but hey, you'll learn some good stuff.
Graffiti of the week: Now bigger, better and with fewer calories!
"Ah my first Murdoch crap for the year, it's good to be back."
Now you know the real high class faculty you're dealing with.
dear that girl doing accounting. Can you give me your ACTUAL timetable this time? I didn't see you in Wildlife Biology, BIO317, cause you weren't there and you aren't doing it.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
My second complaint.
http://www.murdoch.edu.au/News/Meet-our-1st-year-bloggers/ (Sorry Brock, no code)
I know what your thinking. HE'S BEEN BANNED FROM THE NETWORK!!
Well, I have, My face and rude comment has been replaced by a disclaimer, how appropriate.
This is a Public apology to all those offended by a statement in my November post.
I apologise sincerely to all those offended by this comment that was stated purely in a humor context and was not meant to offend, but I understand that several readers have taken this as meaning that Murdoch purely endorses the inhumane treatment of animals, and I would like to say that it does not, but encourages the rehabilitation of the Quenda species back into natural habitats.
I would like to also state that nor do I encourage the rough treatment of animals that are being cared for by Murdoch.
The following opening will be amended at the front of all future posts.
"My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes."
This comment has now been omitted from the post.
Nothing, NOTHING, NOTHING in this blog should be taken seriously.
I should also point out that it is against the law to harm, or indeed threaten to harm, native animals in Australia.
And I was stupid to suggest it, or any illegal activity I have encouraged accidentally.
Graffiti of the Week:
"Can I get my link back now?"
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Errr... Um... Sorry?
It is with a heavy heart that I post this blog...
Firstly - I found out indirectly through a post grad student at murdoch that I had offended A LOT university staff, for this I humbly apologise, I mean things like "I sleep though lectures" in humorous contexts and I apologise for whom has been offended by these claims, or any direct insults to staff workers on campus. They all do more important stuff than me (I"m an undergraduate with little chance of doing post grad - so I'm nothing special. But I do want to complain that the only way my blog can improve and not offend is though commenting and sending me emails directly. i WILL read these and edit out offensive material.
BUT COME ON, offending staff? A first yearer? in a blog FOR the uni? Without being "Banned from the network"?? You gotta give me some sort of cheer for that.
Secondly - I will reinterate on the statement to comment on blogs, not just mine but any blog you read. Bloggers have huge egos that need to be maintained. Rating system, on the uni advice page you are encouraged to rate on the blogs. I'm going to admit this now. The best blogger wins some sort of prize, I dunno what it is, none of the bloggers do, encourage them to keep blogging, cause your going to get a new load next year.
Speaking of next year, by now you might have seen you TER. Creepy, huh.
If you did well congratulations, sit back, and get the life that you lost in the last two years. It will still be waiting (You're probably going to lose it again when you go to uni so do with it what you can.
Students who did not so well. I'd like to let you in on two secrets. After this no one really cares about you TER. Number 2, my TER. 66.2 . There you, pretty poor, the lowest ever TER for my computing course had been 70. I felt screwed. That I failed at life. But no, one STAT test (Yes, I sucked that much) and I get a nice big letter in the mail. Never give up hope. If you don't get into uni, get into TAFE. ANYWAY YOU CAN, its a simple three year course, I hop, step and a jump into uni.
Yes it's a long way round, but you can still get there, easily,
So vote, trash me in comments, then sign up to be a first year blogger and I can laugh at you.
Please note: This will not appear correctly on the murdoch site cause i'm specky and use a bit of html. So FAIL all the guys who made the murdoch uni advice page.
P.S. Murdoch tech guys, can I nick the code which makes my blog appear on the uni advice site?
Thanks,
The management.
Graffiti Of the Week.
YOUR ALL FAGOTS <---- use "Faggots" to suggest homosexuality, rather than fallen foliage.
LOL.
Firstly - I found out indirectly through a post grad student at murdoch that I had offended A LOT university staff, for this I humbly apologise, I mean things like "I sleep though lectures" in humorous contexts and I apologise for whom has been offended by these claims, or any direct insults to staff workers on campus. They all do more important stuff than me (I"m an undergraduate with little chance of doing post grad - so I'm nothing special. But I do want to complain that the only way my blog can improve and not offend is though commenting and sending me emails directly. i WILL read these and edit out offensive material.
BUT COME ON, offending staff? A first yearer? in a blog FOR the uni? Without being "Banned from the network"?? You gotta give me some sort of cheer for that.
Secondly - I will reinterate on the statement to comment on blogs, not just mine but any blog you read. Bloggers have huge egos that need to be maintained. Rating system, on the uni advice page you are encouraged to rate on the blogs. I'm going to admit this now. The best blogger wins some sort of prize, I dunno what it is, none of the bloggers do, encourage them to keep blogging, cause your going to get a new load next year.
Speaking of next year, by now you might have seen you TER. Creepy, huh.
If you did well congratulations, sit back, and get the life that you lost in the last two years. It will still be waiting (You're probably going to lose it again when you go to uni so do with it what you can.
Students who did not so well. I'd like to let you in on two secrets. After this no one really cares about you TER. Number 2, my TER. 66.2 . There you, pretty poor, the lowest ever TER for my computing course had been 70. I felt screwed. That I failed at life. But no, one STAT test (Yes, I sucked that much) and I get a nice big letter in the mail. Never give up hope. If you don't get into uni, get into TAFE. ANYWAY YOU CAN, its a simple three year course, I hop, step and a jump into uni.
Yes it's a long way round, but you can still get there, easily,
So vote, trash me in comments, then sign up to be a first year blogger and I can laugh at you.
Please note: This will not appear correctly on the murdoch site cause i'm specky and use a bit of html. So FAIL all the guys who made the murdoch uni advice page.
P.S. Murdoch tech guys, can I nick the code which makes my blog appear on the uni advice site?
Thanks,
The management.
Graffiti Of the Week.
YOUR ALL
LOL.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
One Post. One Year. One incedent involving a lampshade. I don't really want to talk about it.
Well, it's been a year, and now its time for the obligatory wrap up post.
Well, theres been this uni that I have attended occasionally. And it's been quite good, Curtin students know it as "uni-for-people-not-good-enough-for-a-proper-uni", I know Curtin as "People-who-are-unaware-that-their-networking-program-is-10-years-old" Enough with the slander, lets get to the real problem, those freakin' Notra Dame students. Or at least, let me suggest some reasons to go Murdoch and why I go there.
Murdoch uni, is a great uni, you'll get a degree out of it, which is pretty important for a uni, its a pretty nice campus, with some good walks and views of trees and scrubs if your into that sort of thing, and its a natural preserve for Quenda species which are a cute little fuzzy animal related to the Quokka
It's got a chiropractic facility, and don't worry, students don't go in there till they're in their 5th year so you will come out with a fully complete spinal cord and sometimes a free tap! And before you say "That was a terrible joke, spinal taps aren't funny." Well to that I say "It goes up to ELEVEN!!" And if you say "I don't get it." then you're very hard to please and you should go somewhere else.
It's got a library, at the beginning of the year, I said this was good for hide and seek.
Kevin, if you can read this, you can come out now... It's not funny any more....
It's got the Ref, which Geiger rating has not become significantly higher than what it was at the beginning of the year. And it has Demon. Energy drinks vary from place to place, normally odd ball brands you can only seem to find in one place are the best. This my friend, is that oddball drink. Not only does Kababulous provide Kebabs, it now quenches the other requirement of adequate sustenance. Demon cola, tastes like coke, but its like getting a feeling you get when you are told an assignment is due at midnight that you didn't even know you had.
Wait a sec, maybe that was just find out about 106.. nevermind. Its awesome.
My personal experience this year has been great, meet some random people, went to some great lans, woke up in a shopping trolley, haven't even begun to talk about what I've learnt at uni.
PEOPLE CURRENTLY DOING SCHOOL READ THIS.IT GETS BETTER. STICK WITH IT. IT'S WORTH IT.
It's hard, and there's a big change, you suddenly not really cared for by anyone, your on your own, but that doesn't mean you don't have support there from the teaching and learning centre, or the bunch of Friends you get (cause they're in the same boat)
So you have put up with my bad spelling, bad grammer, bad jokes and geek references and I believe you deserve something for that, you deserve to do the same.
THAT'S RIGHT!! Get into Murdoch and become A FIRST YEAR BLOGGER. You won't get a shiny trophy or any self-respect, but you will get the chance to tell people about uni, and about all the problem YOU FACE!! That's right YOU COMPLAIN, YOU SCORE A FREE YEAR LONG PARKING PERMIT... WIN/WIN!!
So add some lolz, add some truth, and lets start a whole new season of graffiti of the week that actually comes out weekly... Or not.
Seriously, very rewarding experience.
So what will happen to this blog, may post some random stuff on it, will post the new lot of first year bloggers URLS when they get put up and maybe some of my second year stuff when it comes around, meanwhile, there may only be the occasional post till March, about what I've set fire to now.
NOW MY FREINDS, ITS TIME FOR THE GRAFFITI OF THE YEAR.
Well, these are from all round the place
Nominee #1:
I JUST ACCIDENTY THE WHOLE URINAL CAKE! WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Use an action verb
Nominee #2:
Thank you! But the toilet paper you need is in another castle!
Nominee #3:
I paid my taxes and all I got was this stupid graffiti wall!
Nominee #4:
Push button, Receive bacon.
Nominee #5:
FIGHT APATHY, or don't
Nominee #6
I miss the internet
Nominee #7
No Zombie is safe from Chicago Ted.
Nominee #8
http://static.mmoabc.com/my/k/n/o/ckout/2008/2/2//1201985766985.jpg
Nominee #9
The cake is a lie
Nominee #10
Move during the day, they can't go out in sunlight!!
That's Vampires MORON.
You know what, I'm going to stop here, they've just turned into gamer jokes.
HAVE A GOOD LIFE... KEEP WEARING PANTS.... Yeah, that didn't make any sense, but none of the blog did, so it's okay!
http://www.lifelounge.com/content/viewrelated.aspx?id=7834&page=0
W00T!!!
END.
Well, theres been this uni that I have attended occasionally. And it's been quite good, Curtin students know it as "uni-for-people-not-good-enough-for-a-proper-uni", I know Curtin as "People-who-are-unaware-that-their-networking-program-is-10-years-old" Enough with the slander, lets get to the real problem, those freakin' Notra Dame students. Or at least, let me suggest some reasons to go Murdoch and why I go there.
Murdoch uni, is a great uni, you'll get a degree out of it, which is pretty important for a uni, its a pretty nice campus, with some good walks and views of trees and scrubs if your into that sort of thing, and its a natural preserve for Quenda species which are a cute little fuzzy animal related to the Quokka
It's got a chiropractic facility, and don't worry, students don't go in there till they're in their 5th year so you will come out with a fully complete spinal cord and sometimes a free tap! And before you say "That was a terrible joke, spinal taps aren't funny." Well to that I say "It goes up to ELEVEN!!" And if you say "I don't get it." then you're very hard to please and you should go somewhere else.
It's got a library, at the beginning of the year, I said this was good for hide and seek.
Kevin, if you can read this, you can come out now... It's not funny any more....
It's got the Ref, which Geiger rating has not become significantly higher than what it was at the beginning of the year. And it has Demon. Energy drinks vary from place to place, normally odd ball brands you can only seem to find in one place are the best. This my friend, is that oddball drink. Not only does Kababulous provide Kebabs, it now quenches the other requirement of adequate sustenance. Demon cola, tastes like coke, but its like getting a feeling you get when you are told an assignment is due at midnight that you didn't even know you had.
Wait a sec, maybe that was just find out about 106.. nevermind. Its awesome.
My personal experience this year has been great, meet some random people, went to some great lans, woke up in a shopping trolley, haven't even begun to talk about what I've learnt at uni.
PEOPLE CURRENTLY DOING SCHOOL READ THIS.IT GETS BETTER. STICK WITH IT. IT'S WORTH IT.
It's hard, and there's a big change, you suddenly not really cared for by anyone, your on your own, but that doesn't mean you don't have support there from the teaching and learning centre, or the bunch of Friends you get (cause they're in the same boat)
So you have put up with my bad spelling, bad grammer, bad jokes and geek references and I believe you deserve something for that, you deserve to do the same.
THAT'S RIGHT!! Get into Murdoch and become A FIRST YEAR BLOGGER. You won't get a shiny trophy or any self-respect, but you will get the chance to tell people about uni, and about all the problem YOU FACE!! That's right YOU COMPLAIN, YOU SCORE A FREE YEAR LONG PARKING PERMIT... WIN/WIN!!
So add some lolz, add some truth, and lets start a whole new season of graffiti of the week that actually comes out weekly... Or not.
Seriously, very rewarding experience.
So what will happen to this blog, may post some random stuff on it, will post the new lot of first year bloggers URLS when they get put up and maybe some of my second year stuff when it comes around, meanwhile, there may only be the occasional post till March, about what I've set fire to now.
NOW MY FREINDS, ITS TIME FOR THE GRAFFITI OF THE YEAR.
Well, these are from all round the place
Nominee #1:
I JUST ACCIDENTY THE WHOLE URINAL CAKE! WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Use an action verb
Nominee #2:
Thank you! But the toilet paper you need is in another castle!
Nominee #3:
I paid my taxes and all I got was this stupid graffiti wall!
Nominee #4:
Push button, Receive bacon.
Nominee #5:
FIGHT APATHY, or don't
Nominee #6
I miss the internet
Nominee #7
No Zombie is safe from Chicago Ted.
Nominee #8
http://static.mmoabc.com/my/k/n/o/ckout/2008/2/2//1201985766985.jpg
Nominee #9
The cake is a lie
Nominee #10
Move during the day, they can't go out in sunlight!!
That's Vampires MORON.
You know what, I'm going to stop here, they've just turned into gamer jokes.
HAVE A GOOD LIFE... KEEP WEARING PANTS.... Yeah, that didn't make any sense, but none of the blog did, so it's okay!
http://www.lifelounge.com/content/viewrelated.aspx?id=7834&page=0
W00T!!!
END.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
And now a word NOT from out sponsers, as well as the five stages of the end of semester!
Let me first apologise for the huge gaps in between blogs.. it's just.. the blogger outline said "Update at least weekly"and that made blogging sound like hard work, so, just like uni assignments/study, they were put on the back burner.
The Five Stages of
- DENIAL. Noramlly occurs about between week 1-13, associated with statements such as "exams are weeks away" and "Oh, it's okay to sleep through this lecture again, I mean, the sleep is better for me." Denial maybe visible at the beginning of week 14 with the statement "Oh I can't wait till exams are over, THEN I CAN PAR-TEY." This is only present in students in their first semester.
- ANGER. Starts between Week 12 and Week 15. WHY THE F--- HAVEN'T I BEEN STUDYING EVERY WEEK LIKE I WAS TOLD TO. This stage is normally the first time this semester that any student studying advanced english will use a colloquism.
- BARGANNING. This usually is one of the first times that an average student will go directly to a lecturer or tutor, in order to try and get free marks, usually met with limited success.
- DEPRESSION. Kicks in during the all-nighter during a time* which can be calculated from the time since the last break and the amount of red bull consumed/remaining.
- ACCEPTANCE. Anywhere between 48 hours and 5 minutes untill the exam comensment time, there comes a time, where the brain goes through a proccess (much like the one of blacking out a painful memory.) of releasing morphine and endorphans into the blood stream, the student relaxes and, not quite audible to the human ear, says "Ah, let's just wing it."
This proccess has been altered to other university events such as before assignments and before results, but it has been proven that before exams is the time when it occurs in the most students
* Mathmatics students who still need a PHd topic can study this... please... it's for the greater good!
But hush now, exams will soon be over, the unit guide, soon forgotten in a blaze of glow sticks and various chemicals (even if they're only Glucose, Saturated Fat and Sodium Cloride.) and as the music starts up and the only thing you can think of is "crap its
link href="../CSS files/CSS.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css"", well I got question 3 wrong...."
Good Luck to everybody doing exams of some sort and remeber,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HohpvGeLw70
Meanwhile grafetti of the week comes from the library...
"If you want a good time call 9455 .... <--- if you want THE time call 1900 912 000"
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Halfway between the University and the Stars.
Well, I didn't really explain myself very well last post, and thought if any bloggers wanted to also have their URL burnt up in some distant atmosphere, I should tell people about it
The site is http://intospace.org/
on there you can pay a bit for your logo (more money means more interstellar advertising! And you know what they say about advertising to niche markets! (It pays off)) Currently their doing a promo where blogger do a bit of talk about the project in a post (Hey, THEY'RE SENDING YOUR BLOG INTO SPACE! Give them a bit of credit. It's going to double my audience!) So in this absurd internet state when advertising is become more crea-buyflanduffyflan-tive and everybody has become a demographic AND a billboard. It's great to see that advertising is become more livable, now it's more subliminal advertising the product and doing a really creative medium
So, seriously, write a blog, get a photo that has something that ET will phone home about, buy a few seats to make it stand out and be glad that even though you might not see colonies on the moon or on mars, you'll see product placement on a satellite.
Graffiti of the week (you thought i'd forgotten hadn't you?)
Well, seeing i'm talking about advertising, I thought i'd bring this up
so, untill i get banned from the network (for advertising about a website in a blog that's advertising a uni.)
Goodbye
So, you expect me to talk again?
I guess that Uni life has its ups and downs. I mean, any person not going to uni would wonder why a first year student, who's actual effort in uni match that of a cat (that managed to pass first semester) has no time to write a blog. But I did score a parking permit with it, so I may aswell clear out the cobwebs again and add something to it.
UNI:
Uni has gotten harder, the units haven't really, but my selection doesn't mix well (you think if you just pick the remaining ICT 100 units that you didn't do in first semester you'd get a pretty good bag, but it doesn't work like that - seriously, they WANT you to pick up skills that won't actually benifit your degree) ah well. Theres just been assignments and all of a sudden it's week 10 and.. yeah. exam timetables are up. That's scary. But otherwise, unless you want to know about program stacks, routing protocols, languages, problem solving and culture (did i mention i'm ONLY doing ICT units??) or webpages, i guess my only things I can say to you about what's happened at uni is about a fire drill which annoyed all my lecturers, and that vending machine prices have remained steady, the kabab place now does this cola flavoured energy drink and that Robertson Lecture theatre has 90% of the lyrics of the song "Still Alive" tattoo'd on various desks.
OUT OF UNI:
Drunk way to much Master Edge.
Seriously way to much of that stuff.
/**************************************************/
But on another note, I recently got emailed by a random that a group is going to launch a bunch of blogs and logos into space. Seriously, this guy randomly found this blog. Dunno how he did that, but he said "you are a respectable blogger" Thanks! Seriously, this was a big ego boost. He's probably never scanned my page with a spell checker.
So I'm giving them an VERY honourable mention to a cause that is really appropriate for a blog about absurdity. To try and get my silly opioin launch into outer space, where it will float forever, before burning up in another planets atmosphere, really appropriate. Although sending my blog into space sounds a lot like thowing those little cotton bud things at a brick wall, i really enjoy that activity. So thank you strange man for giving the oppotunity for DAUL to become space debris and destroy space craft and anything else which hits it way to fast.
I still haven't got banned from the network, I'm ready to sell out, I may fail a unit or two, I may pass a unit or two,
But untill any of those things occur,
I probably won't post again for a while,
Lachlan.
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