Burning Tacos and growing mold. Sometimes at the same time.

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

Well, another study break has come and gone, another chance to catch up, another chance to see if you actually understand the unit, another change to see if you really can light a candle with natural expelled gas and match.

Or another chance to actually do something productive adjusting the layout of items in the fridge so the next person who opens it gets covered in bacon. Oh screw it, I'm going to go and open it, seriously, what is it like getting covered in BACON??!?

(3 minutes later)

NOW I SMELL LIKE AWESOME! And pig.

Anyways, the blog I present to you now depicts one of the more interesting possibilities of uni life, that is moving with a bunch of mates to a shared house to prove you are independent or getting the chance to leave the toilet seat up.

The move itself. 

My mate (Since the laws of probability caused the two of us geeks to share a geek computer class during high school. A total of five times.) had his parents help him move, they brought him lots of food, put it in my cupboard, dumped his bed in an empty room and ran off. Before he promptly re arranged all the furniture and then we ate all the food. And even then they were here two hours. So, this bit takes some time, regardless of how much help,  and although slightly monotonous is necessary and after doing the job is one of those few times where you can plomp onto a chair and nobody cares. But then they start telling you to get up cause there's furniture to bring in.

That night. Is always good. An excuse to binge on food, watch movies and then the option is yours to fight about who's going to clean up the mess or play your first game of strip poker/blackjack/uno/pick up sicks/hungry hungry hippos. FYI, don't play the last two without signing some sort of waiver.  

The day after, things get a bit more serious.

There's a lot to do, all the washing, cleaning and cooking is now your responsibility. There's unfortunately conflict, who ever your sharing with has got to learn your nuances, and you have to learn theirs. What duties do you share? Who pays for what? Who knows the number of the poisons hot line?

Just remember your with a mate, don't destroy your friendship over something little, if your getting sick of his post its everywhere, his obsession to make all the clocks say 5:42, his leaving the lid off the toothpaste tube (even though its a flip top, he takes the lid off WTF??)

I'm learning all this slowly but surely that I'm very poor to live with, and its a massive change from being on my own.

However I do offer to pay half the phone bill, so that helps. Living in a shared house is overall a good experience, the main advice I can give is someone you've been friends with for a long time and/or someone who knows you have foot odour.

Graffiti of the Week: (Written on our living room wall.) "Please do not expect computer help, we will just call you an idiot, if this message offends you, you are the idiot. Shopping list: Milk, eggs, more bacon (Why is all our bacon defrosting in a puddle of water in front of the fridge??), one of those plastic things that fits on the end of a hose. 

To that girl I'm stalking doing accounting: Read fine print. Seriously. Don't tell me you've "found another stalker" you signed a contract.

conGRADUATIONs.

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

Last night, I went to my sisters' graduation, a follow Murdoch student I have yet to mention, who has recently finished her forensics course. Earning her a BoF. Which asks the question, how come she gets BoF and I don't get BoIT? I wanna be a BoIT! Also, what the heck is with the plural "Graduands"? When did it switch from Graduates? Did that plural noun remind people to much of "The Graduate?"

Questions aside though, the Murdoch graduation can be quite nice, the speeches didn't go on to long, the Hon. Doctorate winner did not tell his life story, but instead of how Murdoch changed his life. It finished on time, or at least, more on time than most, the ceremony lasting 2.5 hours rather than the standard 4.5, although each name was just read out, you have to do post grad to actually get the audience to know what you did, which makes post grad actually worth something. They walk across the stage and shake the Chancellors' (not Gargemel, who actually is a really awesome speech maker, I'm really sorry about last months post, he's actually a nice guy.) Hand, or in some cases, hug, or in few cases, hug, bow, kiss, shake hands than bow again (That guy must be so happy he finished, seriously he should have got an Hon. Doctorate right there and then for that effort.) there's a few adverts for Murdoch breaking the ceremony up. Okay, that's like seeing an ad for something you just brought, pretty pointless, but more entertaining than some speeches. So lots of names, walking and attention seeking, then me freaking out cause I hear my year 8 & 10 SOSE teachers name. Great, now if I see him again I got to call him Doctor, and sorry about my abismel year 8 effort, a report should be more than two paragraphs (HOW THE HELL DID I GET TO SECOND YEAR UNI? SERIOUSLY? SOMEONE UP THERE MUST NOT JUST LIKE ME, BUT A HAVE A SERIOUS WAGER ON ME OR SOMETHING.) Uh, what else, oh yes, afterwards there's free coffee and cake and you can chat to people, before realising that they are the Gargemel guy and you're totally risiting saying "This is from the guild" OKAY. I KNOW. I REALLY HAVE TO GET OVER THIS STUPID OBSESSION WITH THE V.C. 

The gowns are like death if he got fashion savvy, they're that Murdoch maroon, but a cape, and to get the mortarboard, again, do post grad, and don't chuck it up in the air, or you'll never get it back. with a sash depending on what bachelor, or masters you're getting. Mines going to be green. Odd. You have to wear something under it, which can be roughly seen as the gowns don't close. Girls wear nice dresses, Guys wear ties (and suits hopefully), I'm wearing my "I'm blogging this" shirt, its my last chance to make a statement, and it should be a truthful one, which is where we come to a point of, My Graduation.

Although not for a minimum of one year, the whole spectacle, made for a very reflective time, me one third through my degree witnesses hundreds of people who survived the caffeine late night assignments (I myself had actually reserved this night to do an assignment, ironically, don't worry, it's now got an intro, although it was written about 3ish so its probably all the lyrics to the "Happy Days" theme.), the foam parties and generally the whole uni experience, which made me both envious and but glad I was still living it, it's a great life experience, and what better time then reflecting the ride afterwards, then reflecting on it while your still riding it. And plus I'm doing it without the nostalgia filter yet, so I can still say "My assignments ARE RUBBISH!" rather than "I passed/credited/distinctioned them, so they must've been great."

If you are at a Murdoch graduation in the future and you do hear my name "Lachlan Harris" you have three options

• "He really is blogging this!"
• "DUAL MURDOCH GUY!"
• "He loves Quendas!"
• "Don't fall over"
• "YOU SUCK" - Thank you Brock...

Or just anything, after all I'm not sure about my viewership and this will give me some estimate, and 15 more seconds of fame.

Grafitti of the week:

overhead at graduation

"So going to crash the MITS LAN on Friday"

Seriously, though, all welcome, including gate crashers, just bring your comp and be ready to be totally owned at Puzzle Quest Galactrix.

To the girl I'm stalking doing accounting: Admit it, even you want to come to the LAN.

tHE sECOND yEAR!!!1

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

The Good News! In second and third year, you only have to do 3 units, instead of 4!
The Bad News! They're harder!
The Worse News! My Link's back up!
The Worst News! The current first year blogger page will be changed to a second year bloggers page, meaning I'm going to be there for another year, and scored another parking permit, which I really haven't earned.

So, you claim you wish to hear about how my uni life is going?

Well let's get the boring but necessary things out of the way first, units are harder, but more interesting.. Do Cyber Forensics.. 7 assessments but worth it.

And now the more important things. There's new bins!

Why do I know this is important? It was commented on by the GUILD!! Strangely enough, one of the few groups who haven't yet tried to ban me from uni. And you know when new bins are a hotter topic then an awesome blog you know they have some weird priorities. Well, I guess I'm not the highest paid blogger in Australia.

So what exactly is the guild?

The guild is a group of students that help with making sure the students get treated fairly. So the idea is in the right place. They help disadvantaged students with any problems they are experiencing with uni such as finance, unfair grading, and they built a nice common room hidden next to the gym for students to chill on comfy chairs, get some free essentials that they might of run out of, recharge their laptops and make out. (Can somebody make a sign for this. Imagine, walking along, walking along, walking along, walking along, ohh, comfy chairs! Let's go in there! Oh.


Oh.)

They have multiple programs, fund raisers and organise some really fun events.




Now can I start the slander?


Oh please?!





How bout now? Keep it light? hmmph. Okay.

It's just you have three options.

Financial member. Only tick this option if you like coffee. And don't mind supporting on campus coffee.
Free Member. It's like saying to the guy fund raising for Panda rights "I like what you're doing, it's just I'm a uni student with no money."
Not A Member. "Screw you guys, that building could be used for more important things, and I lost at Assassin, so guess what I'm not going to have anything to do with you!"

But I mean, my opinion of them is based on the fact that I didn't really care that our semester got shorter or that the top guy of the uni (Vice Chancellor) wanted more money. Money can't buy happiness, he's lonely and wanted something to make him happy.

Heh, Heh, VC's a loner. So First Yearer's don't feel so bad, the head of the school can't make freinds, I mean he gets paid $750,000 a year but I bet he doesn't know where ECL2.005 (level two of the big block beside the learning common, second floor, go in the sliding door that is closest to the guild/amenities building, first door on the right.) is either. Someone should photoshop him to look like Gargemel from "The Smurfs"

What's that? Yeah, I know I've already gone on about the Guild and last years addiction to the VC in an older blog, but it's something first yearers need to know.

Also everyone is approachable, lecturers, tutors, students, that girl I'm stalking doing accounting.

Second Year is only different cause the lecturers, tutors, students and that girl I'm stalking doing accounting is expecting more out you, after all, you past first year, so you're wanting to be here for the long haul. You'll need to do more work, but hey, you'll learn some good stuff.

Graffiti of the week: Now bigger, better and with fewer calories!

"Ah my first Murdoch crap for the year, it's good to be back."

Now you know the real high class faculty you're dealing with.


dear that girl doing accounting. Can you give me your ACTUAL timetable this time? I didn't see you in Wildlife Biology, BIO317, cause you weren't there and you aren't doing it.

My second complaint.

No I couldn't hurt that either



http://www.murdoch.edu.au/News/Meet-our-1st-year-bloggers/ (Sorry Brock, no code)

I know what your thinking. HE'S BEEN BANNED FROM THE NETWORK!!

Well, I have, My face and rude comment has been replaced by a disclaimer, how appropriate.

This is a Public apology to all those offended by a statement in my November post.


I apologise sincerely to all those offended by this comment that was stated purely in a humor context and was not meant to offend, but I understand that several readers have taken this as meaning that Murdoch purely endorses the inhumane treatment of animals, and I would like to say that it does not, but encourages the rehabilitation of the Quenda species back into natural habitats.

I would like to also state that nor do I encourage the rough treatment of animals that are being cared for by Murdoch.

The following opening will be amended at the front of all future posts.

"My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes."

This comment has now been omitted from the post.

Nothing, NOTHING, NOTHING in this blog should be taken seriously.

I should also point out that it is against the law to harm, or indeed threaten to harm, native animals in Australia.

And I was stupid to suggest it, or any illegal activity I have encouraged accidentally.

Graffiti of the Week:

"Can I get my link back now?"

Errr... Um... Sorry?

It is with a heavy heart that I post this blog...

Firstly - I found out indirectly through a post grad student at murdoch that I had offended A LOT university staff, for this I humbly apologise, I mean things like "I sleep though lectures" in humorous contexts and I apologise for whom has been offended by these claims, or any direct insults to staff workers on campus. They all do more important stuff than me (I"m an undergraduate with little chance of doing post grad - so I'm nothing special. But I do want to complain that the only way my blog can improve and not offend is though commenting and sending me emails directly. i WILL read these and edit out offensive material.


BUT COME ON, offending staff? A first yearer? in a blog FOR the uni? Without being "Banned from the network"?? You gotta give me some sort of cheer for that.

Secondly - I will reinterate on the statement to comment on blogs, not just mine but any blog you read. Bloggers have huge egos that need to be maintained. Rating system, on the uni advice page you are encouraged to rate on the blogs. I'm going to admit this now. The best blogger wins some sort of prize, I dunno what it is, none of the bloggers do, encourage them to keep blogging, cause your going to get a new load next year.


Speaking of next year, by now you might have seen you TER. Creepy, huh.

If you did well congratulations, sit back, and get the life that you lost in the last two years. It will still be waiting (You're probably going to lose it again when you go to uni so do with it what you can.

Students who did not so well. I'd like to let you in on two secrets. After this no one really cares about you TER. Number 2, my TER. 66.2 . There you, pretty poor, the lowest ever TER for my computing course had been 70. I felt screwed. That I failed at life. But no, one STAT test (Yes, I sucked that much) and I get a nice big letter in the mail. Never give up hope. If you don't get into uni, get into TAFE. ANYWAY YOU CAN, its a simple three year course, I hop, step and a jump into uni.


Yes it's a long way round, but you can still get there, easily,

So vote, trash me in comments, then sign up to be a first year blogger and I can laugh at you.

Please note: This will not appear correctly on the murdoch site cause i'm specky and use a bit of html. So FAIL all the guys who made the murdoch uni advice page.



P.S. Murdoch tech guys, can I nick the code which makes my blog appear on the uni advice site?

Thanks,

The management.


Graffiti Of the Week.

YOUR ALL FAGOTS <---- use "Faggots" to suggest homosexuality, rather than fallen foliage.

LOL.

One Post. One Year. One incedent involving a lampshade. I don't really want to talk about it.

Well, it's been a year, and now its time for the obligatory wrap up post.

Well, theres been this uni that I have attended occasionally. And it's been quite good, Curtin students know it as "uni-for-people-not-good-enough-for-a-proper-uni", I know Curtin as "People-who-are-unaware-that-their-networking-program-is-10-years-old" Enough with the slander, lets get to the real problem, those freakin' Notra Dame students. Or at least, let me suggest some reasons to go Murdoch and why I go there.

Murdoch uni, is a great uni, you'll get a degree out of it, which is pretty important for a uni, its a pretty nice campus, with some good walks and views of trees and scrubs if your into that sort of thing, and its a natural preserve for Quenda species which are a cute little fuzzy animal related to the Quokka

It's got a chiropractic facility, and don't worry, students don't go in there till they're in their 5th year so you will come out with a fully complete spinal cord and sometimes a free tap! And before you say "That was a terrible joke, spinal taps aren't funny." Well to that I say "It goes up to ELEVEN!!" And if you say "I don't get it." then you're very hard to please and you should go somewhere else.

It's got a library, at the beginning of the year, I said this was good for hide and seek.

Kevin, if you can read this, you can come out now... It's not funny any more....


It's got the Ref, which Geiger rating has not become significantly higher than what it was at the beginning of the year. And it has Demon. Energy drinks vary from place to place, normally odd ball brands you can only seem to find in one place are the best. This my friend, is that oddball drink. Not only does Kababulous provide Kebabs, it now quenches the other requirement of adequate sustenance. Demon cola, tastes like coke, but its like getting a feeling you get when you are told an assignment is due at midnight that you didn't even know you had.


Wait a sec, maybe that was just find out about 106.. nevermind. Its awesome.

My personal experience this year has been great, meet some random people, went to some great lans, woke up in a shopping trolley, haven't even begun to talk about what I've learnt at uni.



PEOPLE CURRENTLY DOING SCHOOL READ THIS.IT GETS BETTER. STICK WITH IT. IT'S WORTH IT.

It's hard, and there's a big change, you suddenly not really cared for by anyone, your on your own, but that doesn't mean you don't have support there from the teaching and learning centre, or the bunch of Friends you get (cause they're in the same boat)

So you have put up with my bad spelling, bad grammer, bad jokes and geek references and I believe you deserve something for that, you deserve to do the same.

THAT'S RIGHT!! Get into Murdoch and become A FIRST YEAR BLOGGER. You won't get a shiny trophy or any self-respect, but you will get the chance to tell people about uni, and about all the problem YOU FACE!! That's right YOU COMPLAIN, YOU SCORE A FREE YEAR LONG PARKING PERMIT... WIN/WIN!!

So add some lolz, add some truth, and lets start a whole new season of graffiti of the week that actually comes out weekly... Or not.

Seriously, very rewarding experience.

So what will happen to this blog, may post some random stuff on it, will post the new lot of first year bloggers URLS when they get put up and maybe some of my second year stuff when it comes around, meanwhile, there may only be the occasional post till March, about what I've set fire to now.




NOW MY FREINDS, ITS TIME FOR THE GRAFFITI OF THE YEAR.

Well, these are from all round the place

Nominee #1:

I JUST ACCIDENTY THE WHOLE URINAL CAKE! WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Use an action verb

Nominee #2:

Thank you! But the toilet paper you need is in another castle!

Nominee #3:

I paid my taxes and all I got was this stupid graffiti wall!

Nominee #4:

Push button, Receive bacon.

Nominee #5:

FIGHT APATHY, or don't

Nominee #6

I miss the internet

Nominee #7

No Zombie is safe from Chicago Ted.

Nominee #8

http://static.mmoabc.com/my/k/n/o/ckout/2008/2/2//1201985766985.jpg

Nominee #9

The cake is a lie

Nominee #10

Move during the day, they can't go out in sunlight!!
That's Vampires MORON.

You know what, I'm going to stop here, they've just turned into gamer jokes.


HAVE A GOOD LIFE... KEEP WEARING PANTS.... Yeah, that didn't make any sense, but none of the blog did, so it's okay!


http://www.lifelounge.com/content/viewrelated.aspx?id=7834&page=0



W00T!!!

END.

And now a word NOT from out sponsers, as well as the five stages of the end of semester!

Let me first apologise for the huge gaps in between blogs.. it's just.. the blogger outline said "Update at least weekly"and that made blogging sound like hard work, so, just like uni assignments/study, they were put on the back burner.

Ah, Week 15, a time to take off the shrink wrap of those "Required" text books flick through them, and then wonder if you should know any of it. Exams are always been odd to me, for 11 weeks you hear "Now we're going to learn this new topic", then al of sudden "Do you remeber this topic, you're going to need it for exams." WHY is the human mind designed so that in a three hour period you are frantically trying to compose a cascade style sheet and you need to know what they are and how to use them to progress in your course, yet, for no reason at all you quote all the words to "The Pina Collada Song." Which brings me to...

The Five Stages of deathexams

1. DENIAL. Noramlly occurs about between week 1-13, associated with statements such as "exams are weeks away" and "Oh, it's okay to sleep through this lecture again, I mean, the sleep is better for me." Denial maybe visible at the beginning of week 14 with the statement "Oh I can't wait till exams are over, THEN I CAN PAR-TEY." This is only present in students in their first semester.
2. ANGER. Starts between Week 12 and Week 15. WHY THE F--- HAVEN'T I BEEN STUDYING EVERY WEEK LIKE I WAS TOLD TO. This stage is normally the first time this semester that any student studying advanced english will use a colloquism.
3. BARGANNING. This usually is one of the first times that an average student will go directly to a lecturer or tutor, in order to try and get free marks, usually met with limited success.
4. DEPRESSION.  Kicks in during the all-nighter during a time* which can be calculated from the time since the last break and the amount of red bull consumed/remaining.
5. ACCEPTANCE. Anywhere between 48 hours and 5 minutes untill the exam comensment time, there comes a time, where the brain goes through a proccess (much like the one of blacking out a painful memory.) of releasing morphine and endorphans into the blood stream, the student relaxes and, not quite audible to the human ear, says "Ah, let's just wing it."

This proccess has been altered to other university events such as before assignments and before results, but it has been proven that before exams is the time when it occurs in the most students

* Mathmatics students who still need a PHd topic can study this... please... it's for the greater good!

But hush now, exams will soon be over, the unit guide, soon forgotten in a blaze of glow sticks and various chemicals (even if they're only Glucose, Saturated Fat and Sodium Cloride.) and as the music starts up and the only thing you can think of is "crap its 

link href="../CSS files/CSS.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css"", well I got question 3 wrong...."

Good Luck to everybody doing exams of some sort and remeber,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HohpvGeLw70

Meanwhile grafetti of the week comes from the library...

"If you want a good time call 9455 .... <--- if you want THE time call 1900 912 000"