YOUR CHANCE to humiliate me.

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

Like junk mail, bills and a creepy guy who you met on a message board and wasted money on vodka cruisers at the tavern and then offered you a lift home and found out where you lived, opportunity comes to you often at Murdoch, volunteer projects from the guild, disciplined based societies and the occasional flash mob. But instead of unpaid student slavery by a hypocritical group (joke, the guild helps many students in unfortunate situations anyway possible through these worthy causes, such as the soup kitchen, to help those students on a tight budget.), finding poor excuses to avoid responsibilities or finding a good way to get rid of a lot of copies of meteor all at once, I'm here to talk to you about a much better opportunity. An opportunity to screw me over.

I'm talking about the official 2010 Murdoch blogger.

There can only be one winner, but as postcards appearing in the ref, emails from uni and the official Murdoch home page clearly reveal (Okay, it WAS there, but now I can't find it.), I, rather, we, are being replaced. The new blogger however will be a little bit better and gain just a little more respect than me because of the benefits which appear with this position.

YOU SCORE: a URL on Murdoch homepage... Somewhere... Hidden... Hopefully a bit less...

A internship with Southbound, I'm not really sure what this entails, I've read up and there's something about working at live events around Perth in your chosen field of study... Something like that.. Something to put on your CV

Money... Apparently, although it could just be more parking or bus fair (which believe me has been AWESOME, don't get me wrong.) But it could be that you actually get you choice in what this money goes towards (Which, like all uni students, will get sucked into various vending machines, the ref and the bookshop.)

So you think you can entertain random university staff during their Friday night booze up (Not really actually a joke, it seems to be half my audience.)?

My advice (as a blogging veterinarian. (This joke would have been much more successful if I were actually doing veterinary sciences (Just one of the amazingly diverse choices this university has to offer. (Gotta love the plug.)))):

Write often as possible: Your getting benefits for this, make it a worthwhile investment for the uni.

Stay on topic...ish: You will run out of student things sure, but that's what the blog is meant for, the outsiders who want to know what Murdoch is like, shamelessly go into details about how confusing the library is the first time you walk in, that the drinking fountains are never used or have used condoms on them (I wonder if they are never used because there have been used condoms on them, or that the used condoms were put there cause the fountains are never used... Either way there are better less anonymous ways of showing that you can get free condoms at the Health and Counseling building. And there is also a bin like right at the end of the ECL walkway, you lazy person.) or that you can't get icypoles anywhere on campus. (GUILD. GET YOUR PRIORITIES RIGHT.). Yes you will run out of priceless gems like these, but at least talk about things you think students might be interested in. Like the MITS LAN.

Make it funny sometimes: Make some observational humour. I... don't actually have a joke or anecdote for here.

Don't overuse brackets. (No really, you'll start, and then you just can't stop (and all it does it annoy the reader. (Speaking of readers, I'd like to say a formal thank you to my fourth follower. Diea (I hope I pronounced that right. ) apparently studying to be a teacher of some description.. Or a secret guild member waiting to find the next thing they can remove my link for. Probably going to be that condom thing. IT WAS THERE. I SWEAR.)

So am I going to try for this spot? You bet your sweet GPA I am, although with the advertising and the bit better prizes I'm assuming that the title will be stripped from by some better competition. Alas. There is only one spot and I just hope that blogger can be more awesome and get a HUGE following, even if it means writing his link all over toilet doors (It doesn't work, for anyone who's wondering.). But until the handing over of the title this blog will run its course continuing to update irregularly with posts of my latest exploits and antics, with an ever shrinking fan base. Geez, I have to ring my sister up to get her to read this but she laughs. I'm on the other end of the phone right now aren't I? Can you remind me about my 218 and 265 assessments, and also to buy some milk cause we're running out.

Now, exact details of what you have to do to apply for this, haven't exactly been revealed yet, but there might be more info at open day. I will be attending open day, plugging the competition, this blog and for people to do Internetworking and Security. You'll be able to read about it shortly in my OPEN DAY EXTRAVAGANZA (actually it shall just be some text describing anything that stood out during the day.

So start writing a blog, jokes, anything and I could be spamming comments on your blog before you know it!

Graffiti of the week. It's sad. This was one of my blogs most promising things. Sad to know that one day I won't be able to use this as an excuse to go into a female toilet. Sigh. Also kinda sad cause I haven't really seen any good stuff lately. This post is too long anyway. Brock, if you have gotten this far, can you remind me to remind my sister that I have now brought milk, although it might be running out. Now, my ultimate piece of advice? Spellcheck.

My lesser piece of advice? DO YOUR OWN GRAFFITI OF THE WEEK SECTION! PEOPLE LOVE IT!

Semester 2.. Welcome back, idiot we can't find a reason to expell.

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

I look over at the LED display again.. 3:37 AM. Damn, need sleep want sleep,it's my first day at back at uni tomorrow, another chance to actually put effort in this time and come out with a few Ds. I've got to stop my brain from thinking.. Must sleep, so tired. hurph.. almost.. there..

Down at an English fair..

What.. wha... he.. Stupid brain! Stop thinking random thoughts! Oh dammit I'm awake again.. It's kinda weird.. All I've done this holidays is sleep. I didn't ask the girl out, but I haven't completely cut her off yet, she'll probably meet somebody in 104, damn I need to build a bridge and get over it. Didn't get a job either. Bugger. That Careers fair was complete waste of time, all they wanted were third yearers and people doing computer science or engineering. Screw them all, bet the unlimited supply of Coke at Microsoft is all sour anyways. Humph.

Come on! Fall asleep already! I didn't even get a hobby

One evening I was there,

Oh come on.. just fall asleep.. Must not look at the clock.. Ah crap 3:49.. Where did the last twelve minutes go? I've got to be awake in under 5 hours. I've been getting generally about 9 - 10 hours sleep a night from these weeks off, sure it means sleeping in to 1PM, but damn I feel refreshed afterwards. I even got 13 hours the other night. At least I passed all my units.. but you could of done better... shut up. Yaaaawwnnn.

WHEN I HEARD SOMEBODY SHOUTING UNDERNEATH THE FLAIR...

Sigh. I haven't even sorted out my hard drives. I've got 4TB to sort through before the next LAN! (MITS LANS 4TH September and 2ND of October. Seriously, come along and have some fun.) Ho, hum.. This holidays had so much promise.. Ah.. here it comes... Finally.. Sleep

"Duuuuude..." The guy next to me is now shoving me awake... Wait WHAT?! Memories from my dark bedroom last night fades away and the moot court lecture theatre comes back into focus. Mr Boddington is at front droning on about the CIA triangle, the guy next to me has a strange look on my face as I wipe my eyes and jolt myself awake. I look down and notice the nice patch of drool on my otherwise blank "Notes" page. I glance at the clock. TWO MINUTES SINCE I LAST LOOKED. I sigh, I can't believe in a couple of weeks I'll wonder where the time has gone, ah well. That can wait, sleep.. is.. now...

I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS!

One day I'm going to kill my mind. That's going to be stuck in my head all the way home. Or I could use it as a distraction and dance out of this lecture theatre now.... I look at the clock again.. One more minute has slowly clicked by. One more minute sooner to getting out of here and back home to bed.

Graffiti of the week. Don't lie, you've missed me.

"I've finally got the perfect pen and nothing to write..."

"I wrote on a toilet wall.. TAKE THAT SOCIETY!!"

Why I didn't fail a unit this semester...

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

Results are odd things. You can anticipate them, you can fear them or you can know their outcome and just need confirmation of the good/bad news. Me? I was trying to avoid them, it was a brilliant plan and only thwarted by the face that it was just unfortunate that my mother can operate the Murdoch website to obtain the date of their release. However, I was able to report, by putting less then little effort this semester after being distracted by other things that I managed to somehow obtain 2 Credits and a Pass. To which I was over joyed, I thank that somehow I have managed to avoid delivering the news (touch wood.) that I must relearn a topic, and this time, pretend I care a little bit more, I understand there are those out there which don't have this luxury, I offer a shoulder to cry on and a ridiculously low rate to hack "MyInfo" and alter results.

There really is a ceiling cat!

But seeing this is the season to tie up lose ends at uni for a little bit, I thought I'd turn my attention to several lose ends which I have left unknotted, and proceed to knot them now, before my eventual demise.

In no particular order:

1. That girl I'm stalking doing accounting finally sent me the message of my dreams,

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CREEP. I didn't mind the photos on Flickr, I didn't mind the admiration from a distance, but you can stop hiding in my wardrobe now, seriously, that other night when you came out scared the s%$# out of me."

Seriously, she wrote those expletive marks. How weird is she, I'm glad I got rid of her, the second she started showering with her bathers on it was no fun anymore. (joke.)

2. Here is the pencil case that was offered as a prize for graffiti of the week a while ago

It has served me well during exams and I'm glad I was too lazy to give it to the person who earned it, it's been a great place for my penicillin growing hankies.

3.

The Quenda king made us even

After coming to life and putting through the most enduring physiological/physical/mental test he could think of, (hanging upside down playing chess with water dripping on my feet.) He saw that my wicked ways of the past had ended, and that one day in the future, maybe Lachlan and cute little fuzzy animals could live in harmony without needing any torture. Meh, that comes later when I post to the world what I did to a rat. (joke.)

4. I've applied for 2 jobs. Meaning I now have a sort of resume thing which I can give out at random to passes by. I do hope I get a phone call (and not just another wrong number looking for Mr Ihavva Tiinedick, someone looking for that guy has rang so many times, I hope they do catch up so I can stop fretting that Ihavva Tiinedick, can finally get that phone call and catch up with Ms Thingforr smaalfalics. Look what I'm reduced to. Toilet humour. DAMN YOU JAMIE POTTS, DAMN YOU.) that will mean I might get a job two out of the three things I hoped to achieve this holidays have come through. Third thing in point six, YES, I'm going to be talking about her again, YES, I know your sick of her, YES, you wish I just made jokes about uni again, instead of my not-so-private private life. There will be a humorous post on referencing soon, or other wise my sister will stop reading, speaking of people who will soon stop reading...

5. I've achieved a third follower! Meaning yet another person will get endless emails as I update spelling mistakes in my posts. Lia Roodnat, this probably wasn't what you were meaning to subscribe to, but please enjoy it anyway, and the attention you are getting now. Or at least put rude comments to some back posts, they all look pretty bland. All saying "0 comments." I can't believe zero is technically a plural, I mean, you don't say "0 comment." That's pretty odd. I should bring that up in a "English has gone to hell" rant. and mention this website as proof. No, I can't say anything negative about that website, it's too awesome, and is actually providing a good service to humanity, or at least what's left of it.

6. So did I get the girl? *sighs* I'm asking her out next time I see her, better ruin the friendship sooner rather than later. I'm guessing you want a picture, no? Well, Okay.

Here is a picture of a tree that she took with my camera. Geez, too humiliated to even get a picture of her, normally I'm so swerve, so cool, so, partially funny. Ceiling cat help me, this will be a disaster equalling that of a similar disaster where no one actually got hurt but some people felt really bad for a while.

Ah well, physiologically, she's screwed me up for a good while and this last semester has been fun, only thing missing was the opportunity too light a bag of dog crap on fire and leave it on some one's porch. It's been good and I can count my blessings that I passed everything. There's a few other posts in the works for next semester like "Oh crap I was suppose to learn something last semester..."

7. Red vs Blue is awesome, brought the DVD, killed some time, will be playing it at next MITS lan, no exceptions.

But I shall now leave you with some graffiti sent by another loyal reader Mr Brock Two-really-cool-names-with-lots-of-European-looking-characters-like-that-one-with-the-two-dots-above-it Atkinson.

"the shadow dungeon of ocarina of time still freaks me out..."

Hehe. It doesn't freak me out, win. It's in the library toilet upstairs apparently.

No Brock, no pencil case for you.

I'm on facebook now. look up Lachlan Harris. Will respond positively to all friend requests, with rule 31.

Rule 20.

Rule 30.

Sigh. Okay I'm done.

Wasting time and I HAVE, AN EXPLANATION

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

When you think about it, the whole concept of an exam is pretty silly. Let's put a bunch of people in a room and see what they can remember from what they read last night. Or this morning. So it only comes naturally to think about anything except the little blue booklet in front of you and writing in it. So as a quick blog (apparently a two page blog isn't interesting enough to read, despite the good jokes and instructions on how to get free porn/live forever/find the money tree hidden on Murdoch's campus just isn't good enough. People want 140 character things of witty one liners. You can't say anything good in 140 characters!! Micro blogging is silly, just looked at one of my mates it said "I'm hungry" then "I might go get some cake" then "Screw it, I'm going to get cake" AND THEN "That cake was delicious" where as this blog, on the same subject would just say " I LIKE CAKE." There, clear cut and not arbitrary B.S. no stupid little side tangents that create long bogus sentences which rattle on forever.) that will list "the top 6 and a half things to do during an exam if you want to stay to the end but have already finished"

So, without further comment it's, wait a sec, I've done a few lists now, is it bad? I mean.. Nah, i should sell that at market day on tea towels and coffee mugs and those little wood signs that your not sure quite what to do with but parents give them as presents when they don't know what to buy for someone and then go to the markets. Now where was I?? Ah yes,

A list of the top six and a half things to do during an exam if you want to stay to the end but have already finished.

1.  Read the desk. If your lucky and get a lecture theatre, rather than the lame gym, you might score a few poient life reflections made by bygone students, gems like "I'm bored" and "Kilroy was 'ere" and "This lecturer is a (blogger has detected a swear this been omitted)"  It is with gems like these that everyone can enjoy there own little "Graffiti of the exam"

2. Start  writing the lyrics to the song in your head on the back on the question paper. No body reads hear, it's a good way to vent and see if you can actually write the word "Waterloo" without verbalising "Is that really just phonetic?"

3. Sneak a pen. The one little bit of relief (quite literally in an exam.) is the ability to go to the toilet, however, an examiner must stand outside the cubical to assure you don't... um.. how exactly are you going to cheat?? Well anyway, sneak a pen in your pocket as you do, once in the cubical remove the top of the pen and the ink cartridge then proceed to dip the tip of the pen into the water at the bottom of the bowl and blow. If you don't mind a little toilet water (It's just normal tap water!) in you mouth, get as much as you can in your mouth then proceed to squirt it out the pen and over the top of the cubical door. Then as a last finale, take the toilet roll of the holder, and proceed to roll it out the door. WHAT DOES ALL THIS ACHIEVE? My loyal ex-co-worker-readers are asking. Well, It freaks out the guy outside. WHY DO YOU WANT TO DO THAT? You have to admit, with how silent that guy has to be its freakin' hilarious. YOUR STILL ODD AND WE CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ARE CURRENTLY UNEMPLOYED. Well, thank you...

4. Do a writers commentary. Most likely during the writing, you've been leaving spaces for if you have another brilliant idea, and if you don't already do it, cause it helps. You've finished. All that white space can now be used for cheap laughs, hey put the marker in a good mood and you never know, you might even get a extra marks. Okay probably not, but if your willing to write random comments like "Can you tell I'm nervous, here." or "Wow, that sentence doesn't even have a verb!" Your probably optimistic enough to believe that it will.

5. Advertise. Yes I am that vein that the person marking my ICT256 six assignment will be pointed to this very blog.

6. By now, you should of realised I like to entertain the reader of my exam booklet and one my of faves is related but useless facts I now have the anecdote that a fact I provided in my ICT108 lecture was ALLEGEDLY repeating in this year's lecture. Soon everyone will know that a cat sees at 200 fps! Yeah, get that on CS with your 280 and finally your cat too cat enjoy all the fun of killing someone.

1/2. Walk out. Seriously. Between the first half hour and before the last ten minutes you can leave. Go home.

BONUS BLOG!

What Lachlan Said

What random blog reader said

Seriously man, what is up with the "I had my mind on other things this semester" and the goobledy gook a few blogs back?

You really wanna know?

YES.

Okay, well... earlier this year, I sorta met this girl.

...

and...

that's it, I met a girl, then I kinda fell for her

yes, but how do you class that for not doing much work this semester?

She was all I could think of.

FOR FOURTEEN FLIPPING WEEKS YOU WERE OVERLOADED WITH TESTOSTERONE? That is weak dude.

Yeah but, I mean, have you ever, gone after a girl

Yes, and I got her, she's my girlfriend now and has been for 14 months now and I've been able to juggle going out with her with my 3rd year law studies

Dude, don't you remember that feeling when you first met her

Yes mutual attraction, it's not that big of a deal.

She's just awesome, and makes me feel stupi..

Dude you are, please tell me you're passing all your units though, right? I mean, you can at least pass them?

I'll possibly fail two.

WTF. SERIOUSLY. YOU ARE SACRIFICING TWO UNITS? FOR A PERSON WHO YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW?

Worth it. Totally.

No, it's not. Loser. Look, please tell me you've got some action, something to make it worth it?

No. but we've chatted on msn, and if I ever sign up to facebook, I'll probably add her there too.

(facepalm) 

and plus we have hung out in Freo.  

Oh hanging out in Freo, big whoop.

Dude, I'm weird and I'm a geek, female friends are hard to come by, and she's just beyond awesome.

So you share stuff in common with a girl at uni? You really are making a big deal out of nothing..

Hey I got her phone number, that's what all the goobledy gook was.

1. She probably gives that out to lots of people

2. You are writing about her on your blog without consent, that's illegal, oh and plus she could find it. Have you told her about this blog?

Yes, but I tell everyone

Well what's she going to think when she looks it up and finds she's being talked about. It's pretty obvious you're such a weirdo, that you'll do all these elaborate lies to try and cover up who you really are, so that will make her go on your blog to find out who you really are underneath the charade.

Oh (blogger has detected a swear this been omitted)

And that, your Honour, is when I punched him unconscious.

Time wasted having a crush - some may percieve this as not save for work, you have been warned.

Exam time. Again. You'd think I could come up with a more interesting topic.

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

Lock up your daughters, female companions and cattle, it's time now for another one of my rants!

But first I would like to thank one of the staff from Online Marketing who thought it would be nice to contact me just to say that it was Friday so they decided to have a few drinks and laugh at my blog, and thank me for my last few posts... Seriously I don't know what they were reading but it must of been very entertain, or my blog does get better with alcohol. Which ever, it was nice to be noticed, especially by staff, and hear some good things for once, as well them contemplating about what to do with the bloggers link, (I'd just like to be recognised as a second year-er, I mean, I've scored 24 academic points...) (Edit: woot!)(They have even said that more and more pages will be getting this "skin" the link is also accessible on the Murdoch future students site, under one of the tabs, under one of the links there's a quote from Readers, Bush Court, Sunshine and Kabaabs.) But it is nice that they are thinking about it and then today being contacted by PR as they are about to start pushing for more bloggers and wondered if I had any stats that I could give them, unfortunately, I haven't actually added any web watches to get viewer numbers. I could say that maybe a couple of people have read this blog, whether they do anymore is another story. You see I'm not egotistical enough to need a counter; I just spark a controversy and rate my site by number of complaints :)

Oh quick question? Okay, ah, I mention "Academic points." Each unit at Murdoch has a point value, every degree, you need to have a certain number of points to obtain it, as well as pass select units and you may need to also complete other prerequisites, but that course specifics. Generally 72 points will score you a degree. However, these need to be "academic points" not "points" off Guitar Hero, being good at Guitar Hero will not get you anywhere in life, except being "that guy" at parties which just uses the house owner's Guitar Hero till the end of the night. Seriously. In first year, all units are worth 3 points, and you have to be doing 12 points to be a full time student, you will need to do 4 units, 2nd year onwards, each unit varies a bit, all mine are worth 4 points so I only have to do 3. If only I could make time for them.

These are not to be confused with Grade Point Average, which is a number made by averaging your grades.

But now I guess it's on to the more pressing matter of exams.

You're scared of them. They happen at the end of semester but you're never going to look at them the same after my "horribly-inappropriate-and-possibly-deleted-after-a-couple-of-days-due-to-many-complaints-guide-explaining"

8 pieces of exam advice that can also be applied to sex. Yes. I'm going there. I've done death; this was the next logical choice... If you are easily offended scroll down to "The morals we can learn from this"

1. The first time in a while is always a bit of a shock. Whether it's your first time ever or in just a semester, you may feel a bit confused, you're nervous, apprehensive, it's a little rush. You may feel like you've forgotten how to survive 2 or 3 hours in a room with only one objective but within 30 minutes you really get into the swing of things and you're brain goes into overdrive trying to create what the examiner is expecting to get top marks. A few days or hours later when you're next expected to do it all again everything seems a bit more mundane and repetitive.

2. "The ceiling needs painting." You can be the most intellectual person in room. You can have studied the topic and know it completely, you can be the best essay writer in the world, the absolute most focused person. But during a mind numbing activity like these, your mind will wonder, if but for a second, in order to try and get oxygen back to the brain cells and get the thoughts flowing again, this could be something basic like counting bricks if there is an open wall, closing your eyes and thinking of TV commercial jingles, something that will just regroup your head. Be warned your mind may make a very clear, almost undeniable observation (you learn in uni that you can't make sweeping statements.) vocalising this observation will only gain undesired attention.

3. Wait number three was.. What was it? Oh I was going to open with a really Corny joke, oh yeah, that right... forgetting stuff. Studying diligently in order to perform better is the main suggested action. Learning what the exam paper will comprise of, learning anatomy, may help, but under the added strain of someone watching/rating you on what you actually contribute may make you lose a little of this knowledge, this is perfectly normal, it's unfortunate, but you can't help it, no matter how well you know everything..

4. BUT, sometimes it isn't about knowing everything, approaching something with self confidence, a little of "Yeah, I studied a lot for this, I'm going to just fine" (almost cockiness.) can help with the calming the heart rate (you're still waiting for the immature rooster joke, aren't you?) and also help you be prepared for anything. Just saying to yourself "I know enough about everything, if i just take everything in my stride and don't get surprised about anything unexpected (well, guess what, you're not going to get an immature rooster joke.) I see something there which I'm not expecting to see there (oh wait, there it is...) I know enough to complete at least part of it. (Hey, it's YOUR mind, making this sound gross.) But be careful, being full of yourself too much could have a bad effect, like believing you are brilliant at everything may have quite a downfall, just be full of yourself enough that you'll do at least okay, and if you do brilliant, that's fantastic, add a little bit of optimism and you can see everything in a whole new light and with your brain clear and feeling good you might see whole new opportunities from you current situation that may make you... okay too much.

5. Walking out with your head held high. Following on from the optimism approach, there's also that feeling when you leave the exam room. Your mind will slow down, you'll think of things you could of done , different ways you could have put things to make your argument or intentions clearer. Or you put your mind in the place "I can't believe I remembered that." Or "That was complete improv and it looked fantastic when I wrote it." You can then put your mind at rest. Most likely you'll have another exam to do, or will have to refer/reuse/restate this knowledge at a future point in time, either in your job or next unit. Or at the tavern. Or on a public bathroom wall (I PROMISE. THAT'S THE WORST IT'LL GET. And hey you made it to number 5, congrats, this post took me over to 5 hours to write, I'm proud of it, please send me an email, or post stuff in the comments, try to be positive, but if something really offended you, I'll take it out the second I get your email. Please don't contact marketing or anything to complain, all it'll do is make Murdoch look bad, these are my opinions in a blog they very nicely link to from there site.. sometimes... hehe.. You have to admit, these blogs about uni are a lot more interesting than the ones of meteor, seriously MOST computer nerds do not play WOW, what a stupid assumption.) Anyway, um what was I saying, oh yes, afterwards, put the stuff about it to the back of your mind for a while, unless you absolutely can't, take the afternoon off, chill with something you really enjoy. Have a nap, relax. It's all over and out of your hands, it's in the past, enjoy the present that has become of it. There's no more curiosity, all the mystery about the test have been revealed.

6. Deferring. Sometimes, things get it the way that are beyond your control, a family tragedy, Sickness, the doorbell, which can force you to need to reschedule such a major event. But it's when you chose to defer on your own terms that it can be slightly.. bad... Feeling not ready. After a date and time was planned, you could start working out how long you had to prepare for it, and people may get nervous and say "That's too soon" and hope that a greater distance of time between now and then will help their mind become more focused to the task. But with a greater distance between receiving the knowledge and then being tested on it, your mind may become cloudy and unfocused. Well, less focused then what you would have been and due to your lack of focus, you get nervous and you perform poorly. You've run out of chances. You will have to go through a whole long re-learning before you have the opportunity to try again. Even if you're not ready, having the test closer MAY push you up for a sup. You can prove your worth then. In short, it's just not worth it. Use all the study time you can if you need it, and remember what you did wrong so you learn from it, rather than thinking you always have a fallback option.

7. Everything leading up counted. You had assignments before this. You had easy ways to obtain marks. You did that very romantic evening at that French restaurant when you even ordered in Ffrench. Okay so you got some sort of soup when you wanted bread sticks, but she/he didn't know that. Okay, so this is worth a lot, but all that back up stuff did helped, i mean if you ABSOLUTELY stink it may mean that you fail, but if you put the work in at some point you coordinator may know that you have it in you enough to give you a supp, or you may have provided enough to push you over the line anyway and make your overall mark great.

8. Lots of books have been written about the topic by people who don't REALLY know what you're are going through. I have a book sitting on my shelf called "A guide to Exam Calm" its pretty bull. They're are expecting you not just to remember the topic but also remember a bunch of relaxation techniques to practice in your "desk space" without attracting attention of the people watching (who will probably assume it's some sort of cheating practice.) And it's also easy to read out of the exam room. "Think positive thoughts..." "Clear your head..." but when there's 50+ marks at stake, you don't really want to hear that, in fact, it's probably not going to help. Sure the book was written by someone with a PhD in physiology but they didn't write it under test conditions, they talked to students after exams and before, not really getting the whole adrenaline thing, so they can't really know the actual stresses going on in student's head. The equivalent interesting fact is apparently the Kama Sutra (This is a book about how to make sex apparently more enjoyable.) was written by a virgin. Yeah well so was this blog, talk about the blind leading the blind.

The morals we can learn from this: I could have done this without the sex. It would have been a good list of things to help make exams more tolerable. But everybody gives you a list, guides, lecturers, tutors; they all push their own ways of passing the unit. Mine just had double entendres. Why did I do that? So it'd be more entertaining to read, I didn't write this to make some gross jokes, I wrote it so the readers might remember them better and hopefully help them. I hope you have, I know I have. I've learnt I have a very sick mind when I want it to be. Seriously, this list should be somewhere a bit more out there. I'm proud of it; in fact, I'm calling my sisters up right now and getting them to read this.

Wait it's 1am Wednesday morning. Okay the post isn't good enough to get them up now.

Graffiti of the week: Well there's a selection, I know I need to look more, cause there's some really good stuff somewhere... Or someone could send some to me.. that would be nice .

"My Poo is brown."

"It wasn't my fault - George W. Bush"

"Witty political commentary should not be posted on toilet walls"

"All your base are belong to us"

"NO GEEKS SHOULD WRITE ON TOILET WALLS"

"Hey us geeks demand freedom to write on toilet walls, and justice!"

"For great justice launch off every zig!"

Oh and girl I'm stalking doing accounting, good luck with exams. You know walking round with that guy isn't making me jealous. In fact, I can't believe you've gone so low as to ask someone to hold you hand and make out with you.

GOOD LUCK WITH EXAMS EVERYBODY. And the unsung heroes, the markers THANK YOU, GOOD LUCK, HOPE YOU READ SOME GOOD STUFF AND MARK ME HIGH!! (Hey I just made a clever witty social commentary at my own expense, you BETTER mark me high.)

The post I was suppose to do on Wednesday

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

PROUDLY CELEBRATING THE 27TH POST OF NOT MUCH SENSE AND DEGRADING THE MURDOCH AVERAGE GRADUATING RATE

The problem is, when telling that you are planning to write, what can really be interpreted as a diary entry, something has to happen that is worthy enough of being written about, and due to one of the subsets of Murphy's Law, nothing will.

Nothing has, well, not entirely true. I have eaten, I've got some marks back that I am proud of, marks back that I'm not so proud of and the weekly average amount of death threats, overdue bills and court summons.

You see, that's how boring this week has been. I would of actually liked to get a request for jury duty.

But it didn't happen, it'll probably come requesting that I go on the day of an exam and I'll have to defer then not show up to either.

Um... Seriously, uh.. It's comming up to exams. This time next month I will have done.. one. I HAVE THE FRICKEN' SATURDAY ONE AGAIN. Dammit. I'm going to appeal that the words "Frick" and variations, as well as the word "Damn" when you don't use the 'n' and compound it with the word "it" aren't sware words. Oh my god this is a pointless post.

Pfc r pvay'b gqfen edzsna sdc vo bqn jfaxb fdc cqn tfun reu oveub fdc V gdc vc ve r syfp bqn'yy xvyy zn cqne unyncn cqn gfbc cqne xvyy zn rprve.

But even that only intrests me cause I'm a geek. 

Got room mate drunk, he wanted to though. Next day vommited 5 times, it's a wonder he's alive. He only drank 11 vodka cruises in a few hours. Now a lot of people say that that is gay, or he's a girl or something, but alcohol hurts your throat, how can anybody enjoy that stuff unless its made up to taste like blueberry. Yeah that's some good stuff right there.

Grafitti of the week.

I actually had a look around and I'm apaulled  at the quality! It's all gone downhill to genitle joke, people call each other gay, tags, REALLY juvinile stuff, however, through all the crap I did manage to find the classic quote

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the participate."

Mainly funny to people doing chemistry or something but also an in joke written on the walls of Apature Science laboritories biologically digested, compacted waste abstractor unit cubicals.

YOU SEE HOW DESPERATE I AM?! Writing Portal jokes. And not very good ones. Look, something is BOUND to happen soon and when it DOES, you'll be the third to know.

Student life can get repeditive and has uninteresting moments. I never thought that would happen.

The NEW Murdoch home page!!!!!1

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

Murdoch has a new home page. And a new ad.

It's a cleaner, more organised look aiming to promote the university, rather than the old one which... whatever that did.

There are a couple of interesting things with this

1stly, the old ad as well as the old website made me feel like an idiot. I'm serious. I know I am an idiot, but its hard with an ego like mine to actually feel like you are an idiot. The thing is, the main basis of the ad and the various flash media around the page was, in my opinion preaching "We only accept people here if you have a good idea, and would love to not just get a degree, but do post grad and improve the world." Sure, I feel like I have good ideas, but with a mixture of C and P s in my results page, I felt like I didn't get to the required standard that Murdoch should think I should be, if I was attending their university.

Interestingly, the thing they are pushing currently is now a "free thinking" point of view. It now looks like that they're pushing "You all think differently, unleash the power of your free thinking on one of our courses." Which, in my opinion is a lot more positive. It makes me feel that those time that I didn't think enough for an assignment, or I didn't think the right way during an essay, that my tutor wants to kill me, but I'm going to a university that really doesn't mind. That I'm not too stupid for uni. That "I'm only one person, but I've got to try and do something.." It's just a pitty that the ad doesn't tell me what I've got to do.

Secondly, there's an interesting fact, 90% of the students of Murdoch don't know the site has changed, in firing up a browser on campus, you are guided to the "Current Students" Page, which has not changed. Someone in web design hasn't really done all that they could. There's now three types of Murdoch page, based on how old it was when the page was originally made, the new look has only been applied to the home and select pages off the homepage, pretty much what I'm trying to say, the entire SITE, needs an overhaul, and I can't wait till they do, cause from an IT point of view, it's all really a mess.

Speaking of overhaul, I notice something very sad.

No "First Year Blogger" link. Its very sad, I know its been an ENTIRE month since I posted my last post (move has gone well, though, we've even decked it out with a few new things to make the place more homely. We put up a "Family Guy" poster in a place which our parents told us "Don't cause it's a fire hazard." The charred remains have been moved to the lounge room.) and Murdoch marketing department are probably pissed at us. I'm sorry, the sad thing is, second year hasn't got much harder, it's just things have gone wrong and life has gotten in the way of my uni stuff, which REALLY DOES SUCK. At $4,000 at semester I hope I can salvage the exams. I mean, it was never suppose to, I really WANT to do well at uni, it's just, not a big priority in my brain right now, I understand that it should be (I am actually doing quite well in two of my units, currently sitting on a couple of distractions.) I just have other stuff that gets in the way, which maybe described in my next post, which WILL BE UP NEXT WEEK. I promise.

Ah crap the timetable's gone up :(

Which means exams are soon.

Morel of the blog: Balance your life and you uni work early in the semester, in the first three weeks, things will take you by surprise, and try to plan for them, but I now have 43 hours to come up with 3,000 words. Meh, 1 word every 50 minutes, should be a cinch. Oh and also, if you want to pass ICT248, just learn how to use apostrophe's and Mr Boddington will think you're awesome. Do a bit of work now and then, but otherwise just prove that you can use apostrophes and that'll do.

I also would like to apologise about the MITS Lan. Sorry bout that, however, I found that the marketing department can put it in one of those weekly emails, so now all the staff can be told to come and "540w Off UR H4X0R 1337 SKIllZ @ M1+S LAN N3rdF35T5!!!!1 FTW!"

I have no excuse for having no graffiti of the week, other then not using the toilets at uni. But believe me, that's for the best.

PS Nicole, I have your Twilight DVD, come pick it up or something.

PPS How the hell can my sister think that she can make me sit through that?? SERIOUSLY PAINFUL. Sure it had vampires and a corny love story, but a movie is just not reputable if it has no zombies.