How a bird is screwing with me.

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.


"Fondling the birds" Nope. "Handling a bird" Not quite.  "How I got a bird wearing my hoodie." Too wordy. 


When dealing with a story of an avian variety, it's hard to pick the right pun. Trying to convey the fact that I might have indeed ruined a womans innocence, rather than just get a Honey-eater to stop ramming into a window.


You see I had a very odd epiphany. What sucks most is I don't know what to do about it.


It was Monday, I decided to do what I usually do. I wonder round the ECL buildings on my own while people go 


"Didn't we just see that guy 5 minutes ago?" 


"There is he again." 


"Would I look like an idiot if I asked him... Oh, he's probably a philophiphy student waiting for inspiration to strike him, that's why he's got that look on his face."


Actually, that face is the "I hope I can keep this gravy down" face. Why do I do it? I like to walk, and I would like to talk but very few people like the whole 'Walking' and 'Talking' thing. Claiming I make the area look untidy. Granted, I could go back and put that Coke bottle in the bin. Nah, I'll get it next time around.


I do normally walk with someone during these times, but he's actually wanting to complete Assignment 4 for ICT349, me - meh, it's a moot court and I've got to try as discredit someone who's worked out the 349 crime. Me being of course being randomly partnered up with one of the top scoring people of the class, with enough evidence that he's actually got his suspect to admit to doing the crime. So, I'm pretty much screwed, but I'll just say that he forced the confession and then attack his credibility.


He'll be all like "Judge, objection, the defendants insults hold no bearing on the case."


And he'll be all like "Sustained, but off the record, you totally do need to shave."


I should be more concerned about my progress than I am, because I failed the lit review. But if I got depressed about that, I probably wouldn't try harder in the other assessments, or the exam. If I took responsibility for my shortcomings, I'd be very depressed. It would mean I've grown up and become an adult. I have a whole lifetime to get depressed. Right now, I'm just trying  find the good stuff where ever I can - hence what led me to the events that occurred on Monday.


I was on level 3, overlooking the walkway to Amenities. (The greatest views of anything where you can overlook something, but be far away enough that you can't hear them make rude comments about the weirdo staring at them. Coming home from work, I get to see the whole of Perth coming out of the hills. It makes me forget anybody who's annoyed me that day. It makes me forget any problems that I'll face when I get home. For a brief moment, the setting sun, casting a shadow of the skyline onto the glistening suburbs below makes me realise just how awesome it'll look with zombies. And that I'll have a place to take my helpless maiden, a single tear runs down her face as she realises how much she has lost. All her family and friends, and I'll look deep into her eyes, reassuring her that everything will be okay, I am here, she doesn't have to fear infection. Ever. Her eyes soften as she begins to perceive a way to show her satisfaction. The warm breathe on the nape of my neck against the cool evening air sends shivers down my spine. She gets on her knees and begins to HOLY SHIT I'M IN THE RIGHT HAND LANE.)


When I hear a thump and a rattle of one of the glass panes. The flapping of wings catches my attention, as a bird mindlessly smacks itself into the window again and again, trying to get to the bird outside, also endlessly flying into the glass.


Now the birds in question were both Southern Honey Suckle I think the name is. It's a small bird in the Southern suburbs of Perth. It's black and yellow, with a long thin beak, it's also psycho when it comes to territory. We have them in our backyard and they're constantly trying to kill each other. I sat, amazed watching this little bird continue to abuse itself for 5 minutes, when I voice inside my head told me to stop enjoying this display of bird brutality and help the poor thing. So after five minutes of chasing the bird along the window, a second bystander, who had been unemotionally watching the whole spectacle, suggested that I needed to cover it with a towel or something. A few moments later, the bird decided to take a rest on the floor to consider its predicament. I slowly covered it with my jumper. And it stopped moving.


Like, freaky stopped. I guess if I blinked and all of a sudden I was in a jumper, I would take a couple of seconds before freaking out. I waiting for the bird to kick up a fuss but it never happened. Did I kill it? Had the zip slashed it? Am I going to get in trouble with the Murdoch animal ethics committee AGAIN?


So I slipped my hand under, and all of a sudden it was getting clawed quite strongly. Carefully, I held the bird and the jumper and walked down the three flights of steps, and after slowly lifting the jumper, the bird happily shot out. It came to rest on a nearby tree and turned around, looking at me. It gave a hearty whistle and I must admit, I did feel all warm inside. 


Until seconds later the second bird swooped down, and landed next to it, forcing myself to watch, I found out that in fact, it wasn't an enemy, it was in fact a mate and that he/she decided to prove that to me right there and then.


As I continued to smile as I realised I'd become the ultimate wing man.


SWISH. SERIOUSLY. ON. SO. MANY. LEVELS. Confused however that it was May and I didn't think any bird would want to I hurried to my next class, when I realised something else. That bird had got what I wanted.


Wait. I'm talking about the jumper thing. I mean, that bird, (I'm going to pretend he was a male here, because of the sexist observation coming up.) was mindlessly going in the wrong direction. He can see where he needs to go, and continues his fruitless attempts. He lacks direction, has no idea what to do and is too afraid to ask (There it is.). Like us all at some points, we just want to be covered, taken where we need to go and released.


Although I'm not sure where to go with this now. Does it mean, we need to cause more ruckus when we're wrong in order to be pointed right?


Seriously, I get this gem of a moment, that says if we keep going wrong ,eventually someone will notice.


Maybe, THAT'S the lesson, look out for the stupid pigeon who keeps finding the glass and help them?


The rest of my day went really nicely. See I had been given a bad mark for a 349 assessment that I had sunk 20 hours into. I'm talking 10%ish, because the way I did it was not the way expected.


20 Freakin. Hours. But then I ran into the lecturer and he was nice and kind, he'd realised that I had infact emailed him about changing my topic several weeks ago, then I went of one of the examples he had provided without actually checking if it was a good example of what he wanted. So he bumped up my mark, and offered me to do it again. As much as I would of liked an even better mark. There's just so little time to the end of semester, and he'd been so generous that went with it. Turns out, he admitted, he was scared I was going to bite his head off, and I was scared he was going to go all Mufasa "I'm very disappointed in you. YOU EXPECT TO GET YOUR SECOND MAJOR?!"


But he's all like "yeah, you'll need to do a bit for the exam, but I'm not scared about you failing." "K, glad one of us isn't."


So, anybody reading this doing 349 and wanting to feel better about their mark, I can do that, anybody who got an extension and wants some advice what not to do, I can provide that too. EVERYBODY WINS!


I also got my baby back. My Perl project that I sunk a good 30 hours into, got a solid pass, but even though I admitted in the script that it wasn't the most efficient, he still decided to mark me down on it. How rude. However, he liked my use of comments (very hard to comment enough, but not too much in code.) and my use of white space, which is something.


However, now I've got a second perl script, three 349 assignments and my practical exam for network security bearing down on me, and all I can think of is this bloody bird.


I want so hard to be covered, shown how to do my perl, what points I should make when I moot, what an SQL injection attack is doing, and how to configure CBAC. When I also know I just need to buckle down and do them. Cause it'll only be in constant failure that I'll find where I need to go.


I wish, that I would only get into one grad program, the one that right for me. Then I realise I better get used to rejection letters if I want that to happen. So I instead realise that I hope to get a choice, and that I chose the right one.


That maybe the first big decision I ever make. My high school was kinda selected for me. Uni, I was kinda forced into one (BUT I'M SO GLAD IT WAS THIS ONE.) And my brain is only just handling the fact that the tiny decision of publishing this post instead of working on perl, will effect my mark, effecting my average, effecting my future employee's opinion.


Choosing is annoying. I try to make myself believe that I haven't ever made one more complicated than "Spearmint" or "Caramel" milkshake, but I guess I have made some major choices. Employment, turns out no matter how much taking a year of work pisses of your parents, in select, VERY RARE, cases, it can turn out for the best.


I made a choice about a forum post which taught me how to behave in a car with a female in it, she's not allowed to screw with the music, is she? But why? It's my music :( 
Stupid driving, making me get humiliated about my playlist.


I choose right now, to read a chat log as flirting. Cause I want to see if I can get someone to leave a Facebook group or at least get her to read this blog and finally get someone to comment on these posts, even if its just "Dude, are you talking about me?" "Yes" "You better stop, if I read that you mention me again, I'm going to report you or something"


AND BOB'S YOUR UNCLE, ANOTHER FOLLOWER!




Right now, I'm going to take a leadership view of this event. I'm going to try and be the nice guy with the jumper, trying to see people who need help, and at least give them a push to where they need to go, no, I'm not a Ornithologist, but if I see someone in trouble I'm going to try and help. Mind you, I need help in life myself, I ain't in the "got it all worked out" portion, but if I can get a bird laid without trying anything is possible.


Hey, and I learnt this lesson through five minutes with a bird, not three hours of "Pay It Forward"


Oh, Murdoch, Murdoch, Murdoch Murdoch. Did I tell you that you should add a mobile friendly version of your HTML version of "Murdoch Encounters"?


No.


Did I tell you that you could put that in a QR code?

Nope.


Did I tell you that you could advise me against climbing the Murdoch Encouters thing?

No. Although, you didn't directly do that, you just are warning me that there's perspex.


AH NOT PERSPEX! Wait, isn't this uni suppose to be environmentally friendly? How much of that is recyclable? HMMMMM?


But I am glad you got your screens working again. And that the ad campaign is livable. That doesn't mean it's not all still weird.


What happens when a free thinking wannabe systems administrator gets together with a freethinking game designer? Not a lot. They talk about porn and indigestible Ref food.

I promise I'll stop soon... When they pry away my brain from my rotting dead carcass. Beautiful imagery there.

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

If you log on this blog every Friday, then you've missed quite a lot, there's me feeling sorry for myself on Saturday, there's me posting about the Murdoch Encounter's site, if the sign is now switched off because of me... That's pretty sad. Just cause someone added "Bacon" + "Anything" = "Awesome" doesn't mean you can take down this... interesting site. Then there's my current pride + joy, a six thousand word epic on three movies that make me feel lonely. In three parts! But I did promise this post, then I'll stop for a while. After all I'm not used to posting this much in such a short space of time. And I doubt my reader is either. Even I run out of breathe occasionally and run out of things to say, hey, I can't help it I have an x chromosome.


SEXIST COMMENT TALLY: 1


So this is about the new changes that are going over Murdoch website. Although I'll start by the fact that I was apparently the last year which have a student card with a magnetic strip on them, so I can choose to "Swipe" or "Wand" doesn't that make feel old. Also makes me feel old is when I started this blog I made a comment about the three flavours of Murdoch webpages, and got an email shortly afterwards saying that soon they would all be the latest one. Well, I'm pleased to announce that, that time, is now "Sooner." As a few weeks ago a new link appeared at the top of the Murdoch website "Current Students - Beta." Now I'm a beta guy, not only so I can say "I was there from the start" but more importantly "It used to be worse than this" or "stop complaining about the latest interface change, I've been through six of them." I mean, of course, eventually I'd like to be on the other side, releasing a beta and talking to users about changes and features we hadn't thought I've. Hence, I've gone through a few beta's such as "Lego Universe", "ABC iView" (even way back when it was called 'CatchUp' and had play-listing functions and less metadata.) and even "Zombie Shooter." I've gone through my share of OS preview releases, both Windows and different Fedora cores. Okay, well, the last two beta Fedora cores, I've booted into gone 'ohhhh' for a few hours then deleted the partition. I've also played with preview releases of Spybot GUI's and even Xbox Live beta programs.


Actually, Xbox live betas, WORTH IT. Lot of fun talking about interface changes, however not fun filling out a bug report cause you think of a better way to do something and they return "As designed." Let me tell you, AS DESIGNED is NOT A FIX for ANY BUG. When I release my betas, it'll be there as an option, but it'll only be used as the close code if a suggestion makes things WORSE on the user end. Hence, most of the bugs will be closed with "Suggestion acknowledged for future release."




Okay, there's going to be some criticism coming up, so if you do work for the group you might want to scroll down a bit, but I'm trying not to be harsh, it's just I've been here for 3 years, and in the time MyMurdoch has always been a bit of a joke.


Before I go on to the new stuff, I'll talk about what it actually is. When I came here, current students had access to three links, "MyUnits" which carried links to the external blackboard sites, "MyInfo" which was the personal database info about your personal details and "MyServices" which had links to different contacts for different services that the uni provides to students.


And I'm mixing my tenses. Why? Because currently we have three links. "MyUnits" which carries links to the external blackboard sites, "MyInfo" which is the personal database info about your personal details and "MyServices" which has links to different contacts for different services that the uni provides to students.


Later in my first year, a skin was added called "MyMurdoch" a site built to act as a front to grab details from the three sub places and put them all into one interface. In the beginning it looked vary promising, I had arranged on my personal page, the "MyUnits" links to each of my unit pages. The books I had out from the library and when they were due, a timetable, which the description promised would shortly add assessment due dates into the grid as well. And even a list of the book required for each of MyUnits as well as my remaining internet quota. I lay in wait wondering what amazing new additions they would roll out. Perhaps they would fix the fact that units always show that there's new discussion items even when there isn't. 


Nothing new did appear. At least, nothing which really did anything impressive. I guess the daily Dilbert and weather can be handy.


I know the system much be a bitch to maintain, you see all the unit stuff is in a system called "Blackboard" an application chosen not cause it was the best, not cause it was the cheapest, but because it's the only one that performs everything the systems analyst wanted it to do. I mean, it's a little clunky. I blame the choice of Java, and the fact that the Java related objects don't work with the latest version of Java. (The version checker in Java assumes that newer version may have removed features that run the applet, so it says "You don't have Java." The fact that it works with the latest version needs to be manually updated by the makers of the applet. YET PEOPLE CONTINUE TO USE JAVA AND NOT MAINTAIN THEIR APPLETS.) But for stuff like submitting assignments, (except when you submit the wrong one.) it's a great system. However, this needs to talk with xHTML produced by Murdoch. Hence where the "New Discussion" bug comes from.


MyInfo is then handled by another service called "Callista" which they have made to talk to "Blackboard" and he/she is more arrogant than Mr Squiggle's Black Board.


On top of all that the staff have a different system which my talk and administer the other systems.


So I can only imagine the code supporting all the students, staff and support at Murdoch is a mess of 'duct tape' which they AMAZINGLY have got to work at a level that makes it usable. My hats off to them.


Now, back to the thing I was beta testing. Ahem, This is a preview, not a beta, this is the dummy screen shots shown months before implement. Why am I allowed to say that? Cause I've done 231 so :P


The reason I say this, is because in my head I've got various expectations for what a beta should be. In this case, firstly because it is unclear of the implementation style, MyMurdoch has been down for several weeks, but this new page does not offer any replacement services that MyMurdoch provided. Seriously, if you're not visit these pages and as of  22/4, you'll simply get links to the old system, and the page DESIGN of how the new system will look, but not operate. 

Just check out the URLs as well, the system is going from "my.murdoch.edu.au" to "our.murdoch.edu.au" Damn university encouraging socialism. I MEAN SOCIALISING. Socialising, uni is definatly encouraging socialising through this, I mean, no one went those lectures on Marxism, right? RIGHT?
 There is an interesting mix of pages, trying to convince students to get out of their box and do something else at the uni apart from the average routine of lecture, ref, lab, ref, tavern, library roof, bush court, health clinic, tavern.


I mean it's where I found this weird other site, which is like Murdoch Encounters, but just for Murdoch staff and students to submit their own ideas to better the campus. Little bit of advertising might help that. I dunno, just seeing an idea implemented rather than someone getting a guitar for it is just a little bit more inspiring for me. Just a hint though.

But I can actually see this working, it's got links for who you need to talk to if you wanna do a thesis, like, right there under "Research Opportunities" It's also got a link at the bottom of each page, to a page, which has a link to a page, to my blog.

And an ad in "Our Community" that has my Dr. Jeckell Mr Hyde look.

OKAY EGO IDEA. New webpage gadget to add RSS feeds, with quick links to the current Murdoch bloggers.. Hint Hint. I will fully retract all previous scandalous statements if you can get me some more traffic. But that doesn't mean I won't make more in the future.




MURDOCH SO MANY IDEAS. SO MANY WEBSERVERS. SO MUCH MESS.


Yeah, I know I'm an IT person so I should shut up. "The marketing and PR people are talking now, why don't you go files so TPS reports?"


Ah well, it was built poorly to begin with, blame it on those guys, you've done a great job. And I really, REALLY can't wait to see how everything turns out later this year, best of luck for the launch and I hope we don't overload the server too much.


Which brings me to the server you got rid off.


Yes, for the purposes of cost, downtime and (let's face it.) a bit nicer interface which doesn't look like it was done in the early Nineties. I actually miss grey action buttons though. They were so.. Button-y not like this clickable images that becomes images locked and goes grey and says "Processing."


Technology + 5 years = retro


Technology + 10 years = nostalga


For those of you wondering if universities participating in live@edu get to mod the Microsoft look and feel, the answer is "Maybe." Murdoch hasn't. Luckily they chose the Outlook web app, which is pretty well built, looks and acts just like the latestest version of outlook, and I believe you can access the IMAP server address if you wanna use your own client. (If not, you should.) it's still a @student.murdoch.edu.au address, which is good, but that address has become a live passport, meaning you can use it as an msn messenger account, a spaces account EVEN AN XBOX LIVE GAMER TAG. Problem is I have my gmail account linked to all that, so I gotta sign out of that on live to access this, so that's my I get all my murdoch email forwarded to my gmail account and that set up so I can send emails from my student email from it. But damn the offer to use Outlook web app again is appealing.  I used it in my last few months at fremantle, but they had theirs hooked up to their exchange server, so you didn't get the MSN messenger login and live gamer tag. But having two live addresses has meant I've scored two SkyDrives (Microsoft, please will you concatenate SkyDrive with Live Mesh and Live Sync, pretty much that could mean I could have a file at uni and very easily dump it at home OR on a 25GB cloud without the need to log into two services.  




There is not however, a handy address book, I thought this could be built semester by semester to have a list of all the students, lecturers and tutors of the classes you're taking. Just an idea. A possible huge invasion of privacy cause you could find out their student number, guess their password and sign them up for Bio-statistical Methods MAS230. Doesn't that sound fun Biology + Maths + Statistics, no wonder there's 'Meth' in the title.*




 The collaboration is done through Office Live Collaboration. Which... Is going to be taken down by the end of the year if my sources are correct.


Anyway, Murdoch will cross that bridge when it comes to it, hopefully I'll be long gone... Maybe even working on the similar service for another company. I'd like that. Although I have to admit, the implementation of the mail, from what I heard, went smoothly. And we're talking, silk here. So VERY WELL DONE TO THEM on that front. Very few lost emails, if any. And a promised contract of no loss and no downtown, so now all their problems are someone else's responsibility, which will be nice for them. Until an emergency does happen, in which they'll be pissed at the number of people they have to say "There's nothing we can do." to.


So graffiti of the week, you are owed some:

"Wish for something better"

"Like 4 PLY"

"oh god yes"

And just before I leave, exams. I will have some soon. I HAVE THE SATURDAY ONE. THE EXAMINATION BOARD HAS A VENDETTA.

Until I get banned from the network (Hey, I just pissed off the guys who could....) Good bye.

*I'm sure the people doing Bio statistical Methods are very nice people and don't need any drungs or alcahol to further their studies. And to the ones that do I say seek help, or at least conserve cause 3rd year units get worse.

Children's Films and Romance 3/3, and so the lion fell in love with the lamb and found out spare ribs were delicious

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

Final film, a film you probably haven't seen, and its' sequel, okay so really it's two films.


This is more of a film review, because a lot of people haven't seen this film and it's actually quite livable.


A couple of years ago a kids animated film got made in France. When it was given to the Western world, the distributor decided to make it appeal to a younger demographic and removed the really strong love scenes in the film.


The film bombed everywhere this cut down version was shown and did successfully everywhere else. The film bombed so hard in Australia, that the sequel is yet to be imported. You may of heard of it as "Arthur and the Invisibles." but the film I want to talk about is the UNCUT AND UNRATED VERSION "Arthur and the Minimoys" a film I liked so much, I got a copy imported from Greece.


Now, some of the first bit of the film's story is a little screwed up, there's a tall tribe in Africa, and a race of tiny people who get along great, and for some reason move to Connecticut. Let's just ignore this bit, Grandfather of Arthur had a treasure and went to hide it with the Minimoys when he got shrunk and was never seen again. Grandma's house is being foreclosed and it's up to Arthur to shrink, join the Minimoys and work out WTF happened.


And we meet said love interest for Arthur, Seleneya. Seleniya? See-len-e-yarr. Selenia. However it is spelt.


Now, Selenia is a head strong female protagonist who is pulling out a short from a stone, or at least attempting to. 


Yeah, "Aurthur" get it? First point why this film is watchable by a 20 year old, parody is very well done here, not subtle,  but clever. Pulp Fiction dancing during a sword fight, the great Hurbie reference I said above, but anyway...


So, as predicted, Selenia must go with Arthur to save her kingdom, huzzah! And even though at one point he steal the lace holding up her bodice there comes the first moment of Selenia, as Aurthur saves her and her brother's lives a stack of times, and she only has two days to find it mate, it becomes convenient that Arthur is that person to rule the kingdom with her.


Now I want you to do a little experiment, next time you have a headache, take the pill you want to use, and place it under your tongue, now instead of the usual time it takes for that pill to be broken down in the stomach and set to the brain, the paracetamol will be sent straight there. Only in a recent study has it revealed what the magical absorption under the tongue is there for. Turns out spit. But not yours.


It was found that your saliva contains quite a bit of testosterone, the absorption is there to give a person you're making out with, your testosterone, and inspire them to have sex.


i.e. Want a person to have sex with you? Give them as much of your saliva as you can.


Hey, I didn't design you! But if I did, totally would add this in. Awesome. Now following this line of Gross but interesting logic, it is guessed that this actually where the idea of fallacio  actually might of originated from, that the HUGE amount of testosterone in


Wait, I wasn't talking about a kids film at some point?


Ah yes, so Selenia, the very self motivated girl splits up with Arthur saying "You go find your treasure, I've got stuff to do" and he's all Starfish like "So she's like, 'k, probably going to die here, so I'll give my powers to you." For some reason, the first time a Minimoy makes out with another their powers are exchanged.


However, it is elaborated to the audience that they are now married and their "powers" was actually stuff like status in the kingdom and all the things that married couples usually share. I think this is an actual good way to explain it to the young audience, although you don't see groups of male and female Minimoys fighting about the definition of 'powers' and why two same sex Minimoys can't share them.


Aurthur is then congratulated on the wedding and how moving it was by the younger brother of Selenia tagging along. Another brilliant point about Weddings, they should be short, to the point and in a romantic situation. Like in "PotC: At World's End." 


Arthur gets thrown in prison, and after a delightful reunion with in grandfather, comes the corny romantic scene. The good one is at the end, this one could of used better words, cause 


Selenia: "I failed, Aurthur, I'm sorry all is lost."
Aurthur: "No, Selenia, as long as we are still alive and love each other nothing will ever be lost. 
Selenia: "Oh, Arthur you're so full of hope."
Aurthur: "Look at me, just yesterday I was a small lonely kid and today... I married a princess."
Selenia: "A happy princess cause she's finally found her prince charming"


Is just a little blurgh, they go to kiss and your like 'oh this could not get any..' until, like all best kiss scenes should, it gets rudely interrupted by the fact that an ancient Minimoy tradition that  after the first kiss, no matter how brief, 1000 years must pass before the next one occurs.


1000 years?! Oh, okay they have a weird system where 0.28 days = one year, that would mean well, 28 days is one moon cycle, so it would just be 10 of them. Holy shit. Ten moons. 280 days?!


So then there's a fight scene and Aurthur gets to drive Selenia around in a toy car, and then he has to go back and Aurthur's all like "see ya, gonna be a long ten moons" and she's all like


Selenia: "To hell with protocol!"


We see mouth, we see possible tongues and ears wagging. It's an impressive kiss as a replacement for "Let's have a long distance relationship" sex.


the treasure is found, the  house saved and the bad dude of the Minimoys kicked out of the kingdom and we end with both Aurthur and Selenia saying they will be patient.


And we proceed into its' sequel. Actually like 3/4 of the way through cause there's a few problems with the second one.


The halfway mark, congratulations.


Now Arthur has gotten more in touch with nature, including a scene with him sleeping next a bear and getting pee'd on by a wolf. Awesome.


Has Jacob pee'd on Bella? You sort of assume so when you think about it,he's territorial, she's young and experimenting with two unnatural beings. Yeah, I could see her going scat.


He's also spent the last two weeks looking at the moon, and you can tell that he's just a little bit excited about returning.


Meanwhile, the Minimoys are preparing for his great return with a great feast prepared by an Italian guy. How do I know this Minimoys Italian, he's got a mustache, he's short he says "Mama Mia". Apparently all Italians take after Mario. Wonder if he's got a princess in another castle?


The Minimoys themselves have also gone through a cast change, one of the disappointing things of the film. They kept Snoop Dog, but lost Selenia's voice now a lot of people say this was good cause in the original it was voiced by Madonna. Madonna was actually a great voice for Selenia because 1. You didn't SEE her, 2. Because she is old, her voice is slightly deep and mature. She's now voiced by a 12 year old, who gives her an unlikable perkiness, which makes me glad that she only has 4 or so lines in the film. Her wiseness is gone, she's now a twelve year old after two cokes. Sure I'm currently reviewing the after effects of a couple at uni, who have went from 21 year olds concerned about next year and 19th century poets and authors, to two 14 year olds who have found the sugar. Arthur runs away from his parents and almost kills himself a couple of times to get to the Minimoys, only to find she's gone missing. Long story short, being held hostage by the kick out previous villian, once voiced by someone who has a voice you don't mess with to being voiced by a drugged up guy.. 


Said bad guy then finds he's way back to the real world but instead of turning into a human he just gets big. Arthur appears to be stuck as a Minimoy but has he's beloved Selenia. The bad guy is out going to destroy the world and it cuts to black, awesome. I know there's going to be a third and didn't mind it ending like this.


I did mind:


1. Arthur being shown in a 5 second preview as a human, fighting two other full size Minimoys


Seriously this ruins the suspense, maybe it's best for him to stay a Minimoy with his princess.
Why is he the only one turned into a human when coming back? If he gets turned into a Minimoy going there, why aren't the Minimoys turned into people coming back? I'm guessing that Selenia will come back with him and for some reason turned into a human (Reason why Selenia is now voiced by a person the same age as the boy who plays Arthur.) and it'll leave me more pissed off then ever.


2. Poker Face performed by the girl who now voices Selenia and some girls of a similar age. Not a clever parody. Word for word. I hope someone told them what a "Love Glue Gun" is.


Uh.. Annndd... That's it. I'm out. almost 5,000 words, inappropriate swearing, sexual references and 3 of my fave kid's films all over 3 posts. 


Enough, now I must wait for a reader who actually reads it. This may take a while.

Romance and Children's Films Part 2/3 This really is just a wall of text

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

Ironically, for the whole time I've been writing this, my stalkee has turned off her block against me and wants to talk to me. But it was only about the next 349 task, so screw that.

At the end of 2006, a children's film was released that contained glamourising of furry little animals that often get overlooked in animated movies. It contained a unique brand of humour an awesome plot twist and a cast of high caliber names. It unfortunately was totally one up'd by Happy Feet.

Never the less, Flushed Away is a HIGHLY underatted (*boom* *tish*) film containing some beautiful parodies and an awesome sound track, as well as a great animation style. It's computer generated clay! Unfortunately it was panned due to the success of Happy Feet, but should be seen, not for it's love story that's a bit predictable, but the characters are awesome and the plot is very cool. Ends a little bit weak but very awesome. Alas, we're here to talk about penguins.

Weird thing. Top grossing Australian film ever. It's not about anything typically in "The Great Australian Film", and most of them have American accents. Hence, Nobody want to go see a film about middle class Australia :(           Although Kenny did quite well and it's made SplashDown one of the leading port-a-potty suppliers in the country. Ah so many topics so few readers :(

Now, again, I've been called an idiot cause I overlook the last five minutes that mumble was just went to save the fish. And that if animals get your attention no one will stop fighting until we save them. Bleugh, who wants to go see a film about hippies succeeding. Why was "The Young Ones" so popular? Every thing was blamed on Niel. 

But two key scenes.

Scene 1. Gloria is out on the ice trying to find a mate, she knows that she can have any one in the place. It's noteworthy that she always just sings the few lines of her heart song as the penguins around her promise her all the fish she can eat and all the penguin sex she needs. There is a lot of sexual innuendo in this film. I get that pretty much all penguins do is eat, have sex and waddle, but for a species that only mates once a year... Bit of an anti-climax right there. Anyway, Mumble comes over lip syncing to Ramon, Gloria is initially impressed, she knows that Mumble has been after her a long time, and deep inside she should realise they're going to end up together so she should really get over herself. After being disappointed, Mumble starts doing the whole hop thing. His hop turns up to be in perfect timing to Gloria's heart song, not just that, but it's unlocks the rest of her song. Now from over analysing ("Anal" "Sing", now that reminds me of farting, which reminds me of hot air, which reminds me of bullshitting to someone, therefore, Analysing = bullshit.) this  I reckon that this also shows the way relationships appear today, two totally different people, but they compliment each other, as the rhythm compliments the song, but also boost and aids the other person to become a better person.  

Okay, so Gloria how now realised, okay, my guy doesn't have a heart song, but he'll give me fish, dance his heart out and willing to lip sinc to Robin Williams. And now just to top it off he's going to save us all. Am I the only one seeing that this guy is making up for the fact that he's unique.

I guess that's another reason why this movie touches me is because I was brought up in that generation which was told "You're not weird, you're unique!" Now they've found out to be a bad idea, because you get people like me who have never grown out of the fallacy (I hate using this work cause I'm scared I'll type Phallic or fallopian or fellatio, all of which have nothing to do with what I'm trying to say.)   that I think uniquely, act uniquely. And by the number of people who hide my Facebook posts because they don't understand them, I think I am one of the rare cases that I am, dare I say it, special. Not in an elitist way, far from it, my scores indicate that my intelligence isn't great and I'm not a prodigy, I'm that special that no one wants to talk about. It doesn't impact me in such a way I get sympathy, it doesn't privilege me, it make me a guy with a few close friends, desperate for attention and then not sure what to do with it when I acquire it.

So this movie has always left me with a sense of one day someone will appreciate my uniqueness, and that I've got to be willing to swim the entire Atlantic ocean to impress her. I'm sorry, I think I might cheat and just do that bit of the Indian ocean to the South of Victoria, then I'll end up in the Australian zoo which have a much more awesome penguin enclosure.

Scene 2:  Mumble gets banished, and in the middle of nowhere, there is voice on the wind and this short scene has 3 fantastic lines, starting with "You've got a stalker!" Okay, so when I'm doing my stalker thing I go beyond cute into proper "Restraining Order Required" territory, but in the end, don't we want someone who totally go all Dante and follow us anywhere? Hence, the next best line of the scene

Mumble: "If you come with me, you may never go home."

Gloria: "Fine by me."

Mumble then complains that she shouldn't be there because she can indeed have a normal life, he isn't normal, he can't, she don't care and wants to join him anyway.... leading to, what I sadly believe one of the most romantic lines ever. Now although there are proper romantic films like Casablanca which do tell romantic stories that are timeless, I wish that hidden among those huge lists of quotes people have hidden away for pulling out on romantic occasions, I hope that a lot of people have this one with them

Mumble: We can't keep an egg safe out here, that is, if we ever had an egg.

Gloria: Yeah, well, I don't need an egg to be happy.

Mumble: You say that now, but what about later, when all your friends have eggs?

Gloria: Then I'll have you.

Now I'm sure this is probably just referencing a different romantic film, but the fact that this line exists in a kids film just makes it all the more awesome.

"Fuck what the others think of you, fuck what the rest of the world thinks of you, they don't see what I see. And I like what I see."

I am yet to meet someone who shares my love of this line. sigh.

And after Gloria one more time iterates that no matter what he does she's going to be by he's side for whatever freaky adventure they go on, until he calls her a bitch.

From the little I've observed, I've seen that there is a line, that if you stay on the right side of it, you can pretty much treat a woman like crap and there's a primordial urge to be more attracted to his dominant nature. I'd like to also state that I don't think ANYONE should be treated like that, but I am aware that this is backed up by science. At least, if you call psychology a science.

But touchy chauvinist observation aside, this scene concludes with Mumble trying to force himself to believe he made the right decision, that he loves her so much that he knows she deserves someone else. It's a tough bullet. Think ending of "There's Something About Mary." And seriously, a guy who hasn't jacked off  for 24 hours will generally produce 40mL of fluid. The whole famous scene is BS. Generally it'll only get as high as your chest but it is a bitch to get out of hair. And out of these 3 posts, that's the only information acquired by personal experience.  Don't act repulsed at me, everyone is curious at one point or another.

These scene ends with Gloria and Mumble walking away from each other, each occasionally looking back, there's nothing either of them would love more than to run back.

So whether these posts have made you go "awww" or throw up a little, I hope you join me tomorrow for its' thrilling conclusion and my live@edu review, because the 4 hours, 6 pages and 3,240 words of writing so far hurts.

I wish I could get the same sort of motivation for my other units