"Fondling the birds" Nope. "Handling a bird" Not quite. "How I got a bird wearing my hoodie." Too wordy.
When dealing with a story of an avian variety, it's hard to pick the right pun. Trying to convey the fact that I might have indeed ruined a womans innocence, rather than just get a Honey-eater to stop ramming into a window.
You see I had a very odd epiphany. What sucks most is I don't know what to do about it.
It was Monday, I decided to do what I usually do. I wonder round the ECL buildings on my own while people go
"Didn't we just see that guy 5 minutes ago?"
"There is he again."
"Would I look like an idiot if I asked him... Oh, he's probably a philophiphy student waiting for inspiration to strike him, that's why he's got that look on his face."
Actually, that face is the "I hope I can keep this gravy down" face. Why do I do it? I like to walk, and I would like to talk but very few people like the whole 'Walking' and 'Talking' thing. Claiming I make the area look untidy. Granted, I could go back and put that Coke bottle in the bin. Nah, I'll get it next time around.
I do normally walk with someone during these times, but he's actually wanting to complete Assignment 4 for ICT349, me - meh, it's a moot court and I've got to try as discredit someone who's worked out the 349 crime. Me being of course being randomly partnered up with one of the top scoring people of the class, with enough evidence that he's actually got his suspect to admit to doing the crime. So, I'm pretty much screwed, but I'll just say that he forced the confession and then attack his credibility.
He'll be all like "Judge, objection, the defendants insults hold no bearing on the case."
And he'll be all like "Sustained, but off the record, you totally do need to shave."
I should be more concerned about my progress than I am, because I failed the lit review. But if I got depressed about that, I probably wouldn't try harder in the other assessments, or the exam. If I took responsibility for my shortcomings, I'd be very depressed. It would mean I've grown up and become an adult. I have a whole lifetime to get depressed. Right now, I'm just trying find the good stuff where ever I can - hence what led me to the events that occurred on Monday.
I was on level 3, overlooking the walkway to Amenities. (The greatest views of anything where you can overlook something, but be far away enough that you can't hear them make rude comments about the weirdo staring at them. Coming home from work, I get to see the whole of Perth coming out of the hills. It makes me forget anybody who's annoyed me that day. It makes me forget any problems that I'll face when I get home. For a brief moment, the setting sun, casting a shadow of the skyline onto the glistening suburbs below makes me realise just how awesome it'll look with zombies. And that I'll have a place to take my helpless maiden, a single tear runs down her face as she realises how much she has lost. All her family and friends, and I'll look deep into her eyes, reassuring her that everything will be okay, I am here, she doesn't have to fear infection. Ever. Her eyes soften as she begins to perceive a way to show her satisfaction. The warm breathe on the nape of my neck against the cool evening air sends shivers down my spine. She gets on her knees and begins to HOLY SHIT I'M IN THE RIGHT HAND LANE.)
When I hear a thump and a rattle of one of the glass panes. The flapping of wings catches my attention, as a bird mindlessly smacks itself into the window again and again, trying to get to the bird outside, also endlessly flying into the glass.
Now the birds in question were both Southern Honey Suckle I think the name is. It's a small bird in the Southern suburbs of Perth. It's black and yellow, with a long thin beak, it's also psycho when it comes to territory. We have them in our backyard and they're constantly trying to kill each other. I sat, amazed watching this little bird continue to abuse itself for 5 minutes, when I voice inside my head told me to stop enjoying this display of bird brutality and help the poor thing. So after five minutes of chasing the bird along the window, a second bystander, who had been unemotionally watching the whole spectacle, suggested that I needed to cover it with a towel or something. A few moments later, the bird decided to take a rest on the floor to consider its predicament. I slowly covered it with my jumper. And it stopped moving.
Like, freaky stopped. I guess if I blinked and all of a sudden I was in a jumper, I would take a couple of seconds before freaking out. I waiting for the bird to kick up a fuss but it never happened. Did I kill it? Had the zip slashed it? Am I going to get in trouble with the Murdoch animal ethics committee AGAIN?
So I slipped my hand under, and all of a sudden it was getting clawed quite strongly. Carefully, I held the bird and the jumper and walked down the three flights of steps, and after slowly lifting the jumper, the bird happily shot out. It came to rest on a nearby tree and turned around, looking at me. It gave a hearty whistle and I must admit, I did feel all warm inside.
Until seconds later the second bird swooped down, and landed next to it, forcing myself to watch, I found out that in fact, it wasn't an enemy, it was in fact a mate and that he/she decided to prove that to me right there and then.
As I continued to smile as I realised I'd become the ultimate wing man.
SWISH. SERIOUSLY. ON. SO. MANY. LEVELS. Confused however that it was May and I didn't think any bird would want to I hurried to my next class, when I realised something else. That bird had got what I wanted.
Wait. I'm talking about the jumper thing. I mean, that bird, (I'm going to pretend he was a male here, because of the sexist observation coming up.) was mindlessly going in the wrong direction. He can see where he needs to go, and continues his fruitless attempts. He lacks direction, has no idea what to do and is too afraid to ask (There it is.). Like us all at some points, we just want to be covered, taken where we need to go and released.
Although I'm not sure where to go with this now. Does it mean, we need to cause more ruckus when we're wrong in order to be pointed right?
Seriously, I get this gem of a moment, that says if we keep going wrong ,eventually someone will notice.
Maybe, THAT'S the lesson, look out for the stupid pigeon who keeps finding the glass and help them?
The rest of my day went really nicely. See I had been given a bad mark for a 349 assessment that I had sunk 20 hours into. I'm talking 10%ish, because the way I did it was not the way expected.
20 Freakin. Hours. But then I ran into the lecturer and he was nice and kind, he'd realised that I had infact emailed him about changing my topic several weeks ago, then I went of one of the examples he had provided without actually checking if it was a good example of what he wanted. So he bumped up my mark, and offered me to do it again. As much as I would of liked an even better mark. There's just so little time to the end of semester, and he'd been so generous that went with it. Turns out, he admitted, he was scared I was going to bite his head off, and I was scared he was going to go all Mufasa "I'm very disappointed in you. YOU EXPECT TO GET YOUR SECOND MAJOR?!"
But he's all like "yeah, you'll need to do a bit for the exam, but I'm not scared about you failing." "K, glad one of us isn't."
So, anybody reading this doing 349 and wanting to feel better about their mark, I can do that, anybody who got an extension and wants some advice what not to do, I can provide that too. EVERYBODY WINS!
I also got my baby back. My Perl project that I sunk a good 30 hours into, got a solid pass, but even though I admitted in the script that it wasn't the most efficient, he still decided to mark me down on it. How rude. However, he liked my use of comments (very hard to comment enough, but not too much in code.) and my use of white space, which is something.
However, now I've got a second perl script, three 349 assignments and my practical exam for network security bearing down on me, and all I can think of is this bloody bird.
I want so hard to be covered, shown how to do my perl, what points I should make when I moot, what an SQL injection attack is doing, and how to configure CBAC. When I also know I just need to buckle down and do them. Cause it'll only be in constant failure that I'll find where I need to go.
I wish, that I would only get into one grad program, the one that right for me. Then I realise I better get used to rejection letters if I want that to happen. So I instead realise that I hope to get a choice, and that I chose the right one.
That maybe the first big decision I ever make. My high school was kinda selected for me. Uni, I was kinda forced into one (BUT I'M SO GLAD IT WAS THIS ONE.) And my brain is only just handling the fact that the tiny decision of publishing this post instead of working on perl, will effect my mark, effecting my average, effecting my future employee's opinion.
Choosing is annoying. I try to make myself believe that I haven't ever made one more complicated than "Spearmint" or "Caramel" milkshake, but I guess I have made some major choices. Employment, turns out no matter how much taking a year of work pisses of your parents, in select, VERY RARE, cases, it can turn out for the best.
I made a choice about a forum post which taught me how to behave in a car with a female in it, she's not allowed to screw with the music, is she? But why? It's my music :(
Stupid driving, making me get humiliated about my playlist.
I choose right now, to read a chat log as flirting. Cause I want to see if I can get someone to leave a Facebook group or at least get her to read this blog and finally get someone to comment on these posts, even if its just "Dude, are you talking about me?" "Yes" "You better stop, if I read that you mention me again, I'm going to report you or something"
AND BOB'S YOUR UNCLE, ANOTHER FOLLOWER!
Right now, I'm going to take a leadership view of this event. I'm going to try and be the nice guy with the jumper, trying to see people who need help, and at least give them a push to where they need to go, no, I'm not a Ornithologist, but if I see someone in trouble I'm going to try and help. Mind you, I need help in life myself, I ain't in the "got it all worked out" portion, but if I can get a bird laid without trying anything is possible.
Hey, and I learnt this lesson through five minutes with a bird, not three hours of "Pay It Forward"
Oh, Murdoch, Murdoch, Murdoch Murdoch. Did I tell you that you should add a mobile friendly version of your HTML version of "Murdoch Encounters"?
No.
Did I tell you that you could put that in a QR code?
Nope.
Did I tell you that you could advise me against climbing the Murdoch Encouters thing?
No. Although, you didn't directly do that, you just are warning me that there's perspex.
AH NOT PERSPEX! Wait, isn't this uni suppose to be environmentally friendly? How much of that is recyclable? HMMMMM?
But I am glad you got your screens working again. And that the ad campaign is livable. That doesn't mean it's not all still weird.
What happens when a free thinking wannabe systems administrator gets together with a freethinking game designer? Not a lot. They talk about porn and indigestible Ref food.
