An Apology: Several remarks in my last blog have been considered "offensive" by a reader. So, for a repayment for defemation of character and slander (and some libel, but she doesn't know about that yet.) I wish to formally state that doing an arts degree is not in the least bit wrong in anyway, honours students should be commended for their dedication to their studies, people who work in the tax office are working for a government organisation & therefore benifiting us all.
If you currently do not own something, but are instead are loaning it untill either you no longer require it, or have the nessesary funds to own it,the current owner of that item should not be singled out in a public forum for humour purposes and the way in which the item is used should only be exchanged to that person in private communications.
All this however does not apply due to the fact that this is a blog and no one gives a crap what is said in it.
PREVIOUSLY ON DAULMURDOCH...
"So i've decided to write 8 blogs about the campus"
"What do you mean cut the blue wire, THEY'RE ALL BLUE!!!"
and
"but right now head towards Loneragen,"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Loneragen post -OR- That vending machine is totally placed there to tempt students.
Nested behind the science block, next to biomedical science you will find.... The science lecture theatre. But as with all lecture thetres, this one has a terrible temperature, reeks of hair gel and cheap deoderent as well as seats specifically built to slide off if the user falls asleep, disturbing the rest of the class.
But this lecture theatre is special. it has not one but TWO special features!
1. An unprenoucable name!
2. A clock!
These may not sound like much, but in student life, any distraction is a good distraction.
The name: One of the guarrenteed conversation starters of first year students is how to pronouce this name. We can break down three ways how to say any word of the english language
a) Phonetically: The name is spelt Loneragen, this being pronounced as Lone-Ragen (Lone: Singularity & Ragan: Somebody who ran America)
b)Like a third year student: Achieving this is simple,
1. Walk up to someone whose books are much larger than yours.
2. Ask them how to pronouce it
generally they will give the response Long-Ree-Gin. (Long: A far far way to run, Ree: A drink of jam and bread that will bring us back to do-ti-do, Gin: The drink you consummed so this blog would make sense.)
c) Say Lon-gin-gan (with someone on standby to stop you hacking up your own lung.)
Now that we've got that setteled, we will move onto a much more important matter,
2.why the hell is there a clock in Longingan?
For all the people reading this who haven't been to uni yet, lectures are long speaches about a single topic that you're suppose to understand. This forces your mind to wander. How many bricks are in that wall? How many chairs are there in here? How many people are making out? (Best. Lecture. Ever. Period.) and most importantly What time is it? Now irronically the only reason you ask this question to yourself, is because you don't want to know what the time is, otherwise you'll be scribbling on the desk working out how many seconds till the end of the lecture. But in longreegin, it's possible. OH WHY OH WHY. The end result is a graffitti of the week like know other.
Graffitti of the week:
The graffitti of the desk i normally sit in in Loneragen:
1 hour 5 minutes till end of lecture.
65 MINUTES.
65
X60
00
3900
3900... 3899... 3898... 3897...
Meanwhile, in the wind the door silently creaks open, you turn slightly and in the deafening brightness of the light outside your real goal comes into view - A Crunch bar, sitting in the vending machine accross from you, the lecture finishes, you quickly sprint outside, just to find its been swiped by the lecturer minutes before.
OH CRUEL FATE, WHY DO YOU MOCK ME.
So, as I lie in wait for the machine to be refilled, which ever of death, banning from the network, or someone with a cruch that I can easily pickpocket arrives first, Goodbye.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
AROUND THE CAMPUS IN EIGHT BLOGS: Issue 1/8 the boxes of bush court
Hmm, it appears I've misread my contract, APPARENTLY, this is suppose to be about uni.
But i'm on break at the moment, so it's hard to write about uni when there is none, except that the best time of uni is when you're not there.
Anyway, I thought i'd get back-on-track with eight blogs about random parts of the campus - first dealing with the main area bush court.
AND NOW... OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION: "tHE bOXES.." wAIT a SEcOND, "The Boxes of Bush Court."
As you enter uni from south street and providing that you're near carpark three, and haven't found the tavern or the student services building, there's a highly likely chance that you've found bushcourt. (If there isn't grass where you're standing, check that you're at the right Murdoch campus, maybe check that you're in the right country.) This big grassy plain acts as a place to sit when you've forgotten your timetable, want to see some grass or have spend a little bit too long at the tavern and want to get stuff of your chest, so to speak. I'm referring to vomit if anybody missed that. So now that your here, let me give you a tour if you turn to your right so that you are facing the Refectory, you will now see the refectory. The refectory houses overpriced re-heated goods that are classed as "uni food" when I described Murdoch as "having the best food" what i meant to say was "Some of the food does not require the use of a stomach pump." If you are getting bored of bush court, or just want to skip a Tute, head here. Chances are, your tutor will be here to for the same reason.
Heading to the hole in the wall beside the Refectory you will discover the reasons behind one of the reasons that you as a uni student have no money. It's called the bookshop. The bookshop is the place to find that they are out of stock of all the books you need for next semester. However, this place can get you some cred, just hang out by the medical section and pretend you do PSY700 even though you're holding "Invitation to Computer Science"
Moving right along. Hey look, there's the Social Sciences building. What weirdos do that? Then do honours? Then go and work in the Taxation office? Then keep emailing me cause technically that's slander?
Let's take a left here and head to the library. Now if you go near the uni often you might go outside the library. Now, as the library contains "Murdoch Print" they use a heck of a lot of paper. this paper arrives in boxes. BOXES THEY GIVE AWAY FOR FREE that's right. YOU TOO CAN SCORE A FREE BOX. This offer must be so popular that they have to actually put up a sign says "free boxes" to make people take them. Honestly, why don't they sell them, my market research shows that the average number of boxes out there could fetch up to $AUD0.88 per box on the open market. This is also one of the few places IN THE WORLD where you don't have to sign a contract to get something free. Seriously, that means you can do ANYTHING with this box!! You can wear it, you can throw it at someone, you can have it slide around in the boot of your (technically still your sisters') car! YOU CAN EVEN PUT IT BACK IN THE PILE. The possibilities are endless. More on things you can do in the library in a later blog, but right now head down towards Loneragan, then take a sharp turn so you almost walk into Sta Travel, turn a bit to the left, a lot to the right and you might see either The guild and second hand book shop, some toilets or a cow if you ended up in veterinary sciences.
The second hand bookshop is pretty good for old editions of book you need, the toilets are handy for defecation, conception (or non conception providing you have change), great graffiti and a hand dryer and the cows, they're open for all to lightly push.
Finally, i'll touch on the chancellery, this is a great place if you need to sort anything out, unless you're an international student, in this case do a 180 and head towards international student office.
(Amend Graffiti of the week here when I can be bothered going to uni.)
If you're wondering, this blog took 1h 22 minutes to write, the next 7 might not be as long, so I hope i didn't waste any of your time writing it. Untill I make the next one and/or until I get banned from the network,
Goodbye.
But i'm on break at the moment, so it's hard to write about uni when there is none, except that the best time of uni is when you're not there.
Anyway, I thought i'd get back-on-track with eight blogs about random parts of the campus - first dealing with the main area bush court.
AND NOW... OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION: "tHE bOXES.." wAIT a SEcOND, "The Boxes of Bush Court."
As you enter uni from south street and providing that you're near carpark three, and haven't found the tavern or the student services building, there's a highly likely chance that you've found bushcourt. (If there isn't grass where you're standing, check that you're at the right Murdoch campus, maybe check that you're in the right country.) This big grassy plain acts as a place to sit when you've forgotten your timetable, want to see some grass or have spend a little bit too long at the tavern and want to get stuff of your chest, so to speak. I'm referring to vomit if anybody missed that. So now that your here, let me give you a tour if you turn to your right so that you are facing the Refectory, you will now see the refectory. The refectory houses overpriced re-heated goods that are classed as "uni food" when I described Murdoch as "having the best food" what i meant to say was "Some of the food does not require the use of a stomach pump." If you are getting bored of bush court, or just want to skip a Tute, head here. Chances are, your tutor will be here to for the same reason.
Heading to the hole in the wall beside the Refectory you will discover the reasons behind one of the reasons that you as a uni student have no money. It's called the bookshop. The bookshop is the place to find that they are out of stock of all the books you need for next semester. However, this place can get you some cred, just hang out by the medical section and pretend you do PSY700 even though you're holding "Invitation to Computer Science"
Moving right along. Hey look, there's the Social Sciences building. What weirdos do that? Then do honours? Then go and work in the Taxation office? Then keep emailing me cause technically that's slander?
Let's take a left here and head to the library. Now if you go near the uni often you might go outside the library. Now, as the library contains "Murdoch Print" they use a heck of a lot of paper. this paper arrives in boxes. BOXES THEY GIVE AWAY FOR FREE that's right. YOU TOO CAN SCORE A FREE BOX. This offer must be so popular that they have to actually put up a sign says "free boxes" to make people take them. Honestly, why don't they sell them, my market research shows that the average number of boxes out there could fetch up to $AUD0.88 per box on the open market. This is also one of the few places IN THE WORLD where you don't have to sign a contract to get something free. Seriously, that means you can do ANYTHING with this box!! You can wear it, you can throw it at someone, you can have it slide around in the boot of your (technically still your sisters') car! YOU CAN EVEN PUT IT BACK IN THE PILE. The possibilities are endless. More on things you can do in the library in a later blog, but right now head down towards Loneragan, then take a sharp turn so you almost walk into Sta Travel, turn a bit to the left, a lot to the right and you might see either The guild and second hand book shop, some toilets or a cow if you ended up in veterinary sciences.
The second hand bookshop is pretty good for old editions of book you need, the toilets are handy for defecation, conception (or non conception providing you have change), great graffiti and a hand dryer and the cows, they're open for all to lightly push.
Finally, i'll touch on the chancellery, this is a great place if you need to sort anything out, unless you're an international student, in this case do a 180 and head towards international student office.
(Amend Graffiti of the week here when I can be bothered going to uni.)
If you're wondering, this blog took 1h 22 minutes to write, the next 7 might not be as long, so I hope i didn't waste any of your time writing it. Untill I make the next one and/or until I get banned from the network,
Goodbye.
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