Saturday, August 22, 2009

YOUR CHANCE to humiliate me.

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

Like junk mail, bills and a creepy guy who you met on a message board and wasted money on vodka cruisers at the tavern and then offered you a lift home and found out where you lived, opportunity comes to you often at Murdoch, volunteer projects from the guild, disciplined based societies and the occasional flash mob. But instead of unpaid student slavery by a hypocritical group (joke, the guild helps many students in unfortunate situations anyway possible through these worthy causes, such as the soup kitchen, to help those students on a tight budget.), finding poor excuses to avoid responsibilities or finding a good way to get rid of a lot of copies of meteor all at once, I'm here to talk to you about a much better opportunity. An opportunity to screw me over.

I'm talking about the official 2010 Murdoch blogger.

There can only be one winner, but as postcards appearing in the ref, emails from uni and the official Murdoch home page clearly reveal (Okay, it WAS there, but now I can't find it.), I, rather, we, are being replaced. The new blogger however will be a little bit better and gain just a little more respect than me because of the benefits which appear with this position.

YOU SCORE: a URL on Murdoch homepage... Somewhere... Hidden... Hopefully a bit less...

A internship with Southbound, I'm not really sure what this entails, I've read up and there's something about working at live events around Perth in your chosen field of study... Something like that.. Something to put on your CV

Money... Apparently, although it could just be more parking or bus fair (which believe me has been AWESOME, don't get me wrong.) But it could be that you actually get you choice in what this money goes towards (Which, like all uni students, will get sucked into various vending machines, the ref and the bookshop.)

So you think you can entertain random university staff during their Friday night booze up (Not really actually a joke, it seems to be half my audience.)?

My advice (as a blogging veterinarian. (This joke would have been much more successful if I were actually doing veterinary sciences (Just one of the amazingly diverse choices this university has to offer. (Gotta love the plug.)))):

Write often as possible: Your getting benefits for this, make it a worthwhile investment for the uni.

Stay on topic...ish: You will run out of student things sure, but that's what the blog is meant for, the outsiders who want to know what Murdoch is like, shamelessly go into details about how confusing the library is the first time you walk in, that the drinking fountains are never used or have used condoms on them (I wonder if they are never used because there have been used condoms on them, or that the used condoms were put there cause the fountains are never used... Either way there are better less anonymous ways of showing that you can get free condoms at the Health and Counseling building. And there is also a bin like right at the end of the ECL walkway, you lazy person.) or that you can't get icypoles anywhere on campus. (GUILD. GET YOUR PRIORITIES RIGHT.). Yes you will run out of priceless gems like these, but at least talk about things you think students might be interested in. Like the MITS LAN.

Make it funny sometimes: Make some observational humour. I... don't actually have a joke or anecdote for here.

Don't overuse brackets. (No really, you'll start, and then you just can't stop (and all it does it annoy the reader. (Speaking of readers, I'd like to say a formal thank you to my fourth follower. Diea (I hope I pronounced that right. ) apparently studying to be a teacher of some description.. Or a secret guild member waiting to find the next thing they can remove my link for. Probably going to be that condom thing. IT WAS THERE. I SWEAR.)

So am I going to try for this spot? You bet your sweet GPA I am, although with the advertising and the bit better prizes I'm assuming that the title will be stripped from by some better competition. Alas. There is only one spot and I just hope that blogger can be more awesome and get a HUGE following, even if it means writing his link all over toilet doors (It doesn't work, for anyone who's wondering.). But until the handing over of the title this blog will run its course continuing to update irregularly with posts of my latest exploits and antics, with an ever shrinking fan base. Geez, I have to ring my sister up to get her to read this but she laughs. I'm on the other end of the phone right now aren't I? Can you remind me about my 218 and 265 assessments, and also to buy some milk cause we're running out.

Now, exact details of what you have to do to apply for this, haven't exactly been revealed yet, but there might be more info at open day. I will be attending open day, plugging the competition, this blog and for people to do Internetworking and Security. You'll be able to read about it shortly in my OPEN DAY EXTRAVAGANZA (actually it shall just be some text describing anything that stood out during the day.

So start writing a blog, jokes, anything and I could be spamming comments on your blog before you know it!



Graffiti of the week. It's sad. This was one of my blogs most promising things. Sad to know that one day I won't be able to use this as an excuse to go into a female toilet. Sigh. Also kinda sad cause I haven't really seen any good stuff lately. This post is too long anyway. Brock, if you have gotten this far, can you remind me to remind my sister that I have now brought milk, although it might be running out. Now, my ultimate piece of advice? Spellcheck.

My lesser piece of advice? DO YOUR OWN GRAFFITI OF THE WEEK SECTION! PEOPLE LOVE IT!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Semester 2.. Welcome back, idiot we can't find a reason to expell.

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

I look over at the LED display again.. 3:37 AM. Damn, need sleep want sleep,it's my first day at back at uni tomorrow, another chance to actually put effort in this time and come out with a few Ds. I've got to stop my brain from thinking.. Must sleep, so tired. hurph.. almost.. there..

Down at an English fair..

What.. wha... he.. Stupid brain! Stop thinking random thoughts! Oh dammit I'm awake again.. It's kinda weird.. All I've done this holidays is sleep. I didn't ask the girl out, but I haven't completely cut her off yet, she'll probably meet somebody in 104, damn I need to build a bridge and get over it. Didn't get a job either. Bugger. That Careers fair was complete waste of time, all they wanted were third yearers and people doing computer science or engineering. Screw them all, bet the unlimited supply of Coke at Microsoft is all sour anyways. Humph.


Come on! Fall asleep already! I didn't even get a hobby

One evening I was there,

Oh come on.. just fall asleep.. Must not look at the clock.. Ah crap 3:49.. Where did the last twelve minutes go? I've got to be awake in under 5 hours. I've been getting generally about 9 - 10 hours sleep a night from these weeks off, sure it means sleeping in to 1PM, but damn I feel refreshed afterwards. I even got 13 hours the other night. At least I passed all my units.. but you could of done better... shut up. Yaaaawwnnn.

WHEN I HEARD SOMEBODY SHOUTING UNDERNEATH THE FLAIR...

Sigh. I haven't even sorted out my hard drives. I've got 4TB to sort through before the next LAN! (MITS LANS 4TH September and 2ND of October. Seriously, come along and have some fun.) Ho, hum.. This holidays had so much promise.. Ah.. here it comes... Finally.. Sleep

"Duuuuude..." The guy next to me is now shoving me awake... Wait WHAT?! Memories from my dark bedroom last night fades away and the moot court lecture theatre comes back into focus. Mr Boddington is at front droning on about the CIA triangle, the guy next to me has a strange look on my face as I wipe my eyes and jolt myself awake. I look down and notice the nice patch of drool on my otherwise blank "Notes" page. I glance at the clock. TWO MINUTES SINCE I LAST LOOKED. I sigh, I can't believe in a couple of weeks I'll wonder where the time has gone, ah well. That can wait, sleep.. is.. now...

I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS!

One day I'm going to kill my mind. That's going to be stuck in my head all the way home. Or I could use it as a distraction and dance out of this lecture theatre now.... I look at the clock again.. One more minute has slowly clicked by. One more minute sooner to getting out of here and back home to bed.

Graffiti of the week. Don't lie, you've missed me.

"I've finally got the perfect pen and nothing to write..."
"I wrote on a toilet wall.. TAKE THAT SOCIETY!!"