An Apology: Several remarks in my last blog have been considered "offensive" by a reader. So, for a repayment for defemation of character and slander (and some libel, but she doesn't know about that yet.) I wish to formally state that doing an arts degree is not in the least bit wrong in anyway, honours students should be commended for their dedication to their studies, people who work in the tax office are working for a government organisation & therefore benifiting us all.
If you currently do not own something, but are instead are loaning it untill either you no longer require it, or have the nessesary funds to own it,the current owner of that item should not be singled out in a public forum for humour purposes and the way in which the item is used should only be exchanged to that person in private communications.
All this however does not apply due to the fact that this is a blog and no one gives a crap what is said in it.
PREVIOUSLY ON DAULMURDOCH...
"So i've decided to write 8 blogs about the campus"
"What do you mean cut the blue wire, THEY'RE ALL BLUE!!!"
and
"but right now head towards Loneragen,"
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The Loneragen post -OR- That vending machine is totally placed there to tempt students.
Nested behind the science block, next to biomedical science you will find.... The science lecture theatre. But as with all lecture thetres, this one has a terrible temperature, reeks of hair gel and cheap deoderent as well as seats specifically built to slide off if the user falls asleep, disturbing the rest of the class.
But this lecture theatre is special. it has not one but TWO special features!
1. An unprenoucable name!
2. A clock!
These may not sound like much, but in student life, any distraction is a good distraction.
The name: One of the guarrenteed conversation starters of first year students is how to pronouce this name. We can break down three ways how to say any word of the english language
a) Phonetically: The name is spelt Loneragen, this being pronounced as Lone-Ragen (Lone: Singularity & Ragan: Somebody who ran America)
b)Like a third year student: Achieving this is simple,
1. Walk up to someone whose books are much larger than yours.
2. Ask them how to pronouce it
generally they will give the response Long-Ree-Gin. (Long: A far far way to run, Ree: A drink of jam and bread that will bring us back to do-ti-do, Gin: The drink you consummed so this blog would make sense.)
c) Say Lon-gin-gan (with someone on standby to stop you hacking up your own lung.)
Now that we've got that setteled, we will move onto a much more important matter,
2.why the hell is there a clock in Longingan?
For all the people reading this who haven't been to uni yet, lectures are long speaches about a single topic that you're suppose to understand. This forces your mind to wander. How many bricks are in that wall? How many chairs are there in here? How many people are making out? (Best. Lecture. Ever. Period.) and most importantly What time is it? Now irronically the only reason you ask this question to yourself, is because you don't want to know what the time is, otherwise you'll be scribbling on the desk working out how many seconds till the end of the lecture. But in longreegin, it's possible. OH WHY OH WHY. The end result is a graffitti of the week like know other.
Graffitti of the week:
The graffitti of the desk i normally sit in in Loneragen:
1 hour 5 minutes till end of lecture.
65 MINUTES.
65
X60
00
3900
3900... 3899... 3898... 3897...
Meanwhile, in the wind the door silently creaks open, you turn slightly and in the deafening brightness of the light outside your real goal comes into view - A Crunch bar, sitting in the vending machine accross from you, the lecture finishes, you quickly sprint outside, just to find its been swiped by the lecturer minutes before.
OH CRUEL FATE, WHY DO YOU MOCK ME.
So, as I lie in wait for the machine to be refilled, which ever of death, banning from the network, or someone with a cruch that I can easily pickpocket arrives first, Goodbye.
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