I can feel my palms sweating a little bit, they always do that when I'm nervous. But when you see the next three years of your life written out in front of you on a bit of notepaper, with no idea how much work you're gonna have to put in, no idea if you'll make any friends, and no idea if you're going to mature and become a better person, you'd be nervous to. For the thirteenth time I compare my notepaper to the confusing screen in front of me. Checking the units match up and just hoping that the database on the back of this thing won't break if you hit the refresh button in the browser.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice someone new enter the library learning common from Sir Walter's look over the room very carefully, stare at one particular person one the other side of the room. He stops, his eye's glaze over as if his brain isn't actually thinking about what he's seeing and instead focused on something only he can see. Which is a bit of a problem cause he's standing in a doorway and people want to walk through.
He's a scruffy bloke, only slightly taller than me, his head has been shaved recently although the same couldn't be said about his face, which has an inconsistent fuzz all over it. Another student clears their throat and he's jolted back to reality, he keeps his head down, and he walks quite quickly towards me. All I can think is "Please don't sit near me, please don't sit near me..." as he sits down on the computer opposite, his head completely obscured by his then my monitor. I exhale, it must of been quite loud as I can hear him cough and then splutter what must have been the first thing that came into his mind.
"Did you know that 60% of under graduate students entering a Computer Science major will lose their virginity during their degree compared to only 17% of students entering a Maths major?*"
"Really?" I must of said it a bit too enthusiastically, because he followed up with:
"But you're doing Internetworking and Security, aren't you?"
"Well, that's a bit harsh." I reply, followed by "Wait, how did you know I was.."
He cuts me off "You're leafing through that Cisco book with more excitement than a kid getting a Nintendo 64 for Christmas"
I slightly laugh to myself slightly, getting the reference, hoping that this isn't one of those guys who keeps spitting out meme's every change he gets.
"So I'm guessing you're feeling a little nervous, hey? First semester?"
"Yeah a little. Well, TBH, a lot. I mean, I think about some of the students in here, they are currently deep three thousand words into an assignment I can never understand. I think about that soon I might be in this library at 3 a.m. struggling with an assignment on (I flick to a random page in the Cisco textbook.) RIP."
"A distance vector protocol, like that? Nah you'll be fine with something like that, now multi area OSPF, that'll do your head in.. but don't worry about that."
"I mean, I hope by the time I get to anything like that, I assume that by the time I'm working on that I would of matured enough to correctly organise and prioritise study so that I will do well in everything naturally, rather than my current approach of leaving stuff to the last minute."
He attempts to stifle chuckles. "I'm not saying you won't mature, it's just the leaving it to last minute has been stressful, but more successful for me than it should of been. Which reminds me, start on 339 assignment 2 now, and the readings, you might get lucky and cover about half the unit content by the time you get to the exam."
"I'll bear that in mind... Is it really that bad?"
"It's... Pretty bad."
I quickly search the university website so I can sound like I know more about what I've gotten myself into.
"Geez," I say under my breathe "When will they update this website? It's just a mess of different page versions and so much information."
He must of heard me cause he says "Can you believe they plan to add another version of pages of this website shortly? It's going to be even more of a mess."
"Yeah, but cut them some slack, there must be hundreds of pages in here to update the design of, it would be a mammoth task."
"It's called CSS"
"CSS?"
"You'll learn in 108. Man, you have so much to look forward to."
"But I have to sit through a minimum of 20 exams between now and my leaving this place, I barely handled TEE, man I got such a low score."
"You'll still progress, regardless if you get passes or credits, I know you might be scared about your GPA, but once you get into the workforce, all you future employees will care about is your prior experience. Look, I have a feeling you'll handle things fine, you seem the type of person who really enjoys networking, and if you enjoy it, the stuff sticks in your head easier and exams become a breeze."
"I'm thinking of doing the Cyber Forensics Major as well, it sounds interesting."
"May as well do it, just warning you won't give you any room for electives, but you do get to do a forensics unit in third year that's a lot more interesting than the alternative networking unit."
"But I want to get as many networking skills as possible!"
"You have to do it against network security unit which majors on this topic of things called ACLs, which is considered one of the most difficult concepts in networking, OR you can sit around Monday afternoons and discuss cheese."
"Why cheese?"
"I don't know he just talked about cheese a lot to me, and seeing he was the person marking my assignments, I went with it, as a result however I have gotten into cheese a lot. You also talk about security sometimes, which is very good to draw parallels with a stack of swiss cheese."
"Okay, then, that sounds insane enough that it'd be enjoyable. Sign me up for the second major."
"I know some people who did really well at TEE, yet can't take the whole uni experience and drop out in the first couple of weeks, it's not all plain sailing but I'm sure you'll do good. You seem as ignorant as I was when I first started, and ignorence is good sometimes, don't stop to look at the big picture in uni, just think about the next assignment due, do it in little steps over a few weeks, and all will be well."
"Oh man, the next three years sound so awesome. I can't wait to drive up here in my little gold car everyday, it's gonna be awesome!"
"Yeah, about that.."
"What?"
"Erm, never mind, it is very exciting, but there's going to be some rough times too, I suggest having a spring board to vent to, do you have, like a diary, or blog, or even just a sister to complain to when things get hard?"
"Yeah, I have a sister, and I have often thought about starting a blog, I mean, I did see that Murdoch were holding a contest for an official blogger. But seriously, who would want to read some rambling from a geek, about geek stuff, my problems at uni, my try hard attempts at humour or me whining that I'm not part of the 81% of computer scientists who"
"Okay, I get your point, I just think it be a good place to vent, when exams stress you out, the interesting mess of the Murdoch website and when you decide to hit on a girl on a message board. In any case you could just get your family to read it as opposed to, you know, talking to them."
"I won't deny that does sound good... But I wouldn't know what to write about, my thoughts are very rarely coherent, my spelling is terrible, don't think I'm shallow enough to hit on a girl on a message board and I'd probably just write a whole bunch of run on sentences or bullet points."
"Well, at least consider it, I reckon you'd probably find at least two girls who sounds sane on a message board, look, find some quiet space to try and get inspiration for your first 300 words."
"Might find somewhere quiet, and contemplate a moment then."
"Toilet is empty..."
"Sure, cause there's gonna be a lot of intellectual material in there."
"I'm probably holding you up for some sort of class?"
"oh wooh, it's 20 past, I'm gonna be late, don't wanna make a bad impression by being one of those guys that's always rocking up late to lectures."
"Yeah, cause then your lecturer will totally give you a bad mark."
"SERIOUS?"
"Nah, depends who it is of how tolerant they are, what you got?"
"ICT102 with Christian Payne."
"Actually I wouldn't be late for that."
"What's with the sudden change of tune?"
"Oh it's just cause he's a friend of mine on Facebook and can bag on me there.
Oh and while we're talking about 102, thirty one."
"Thirty One? What?"
"Look, there will be a question, You'll know it when you hear it, and the answer's thirty one, just trust me on it."
"Okay... Don't think I'm going to join Facebook, looks pretty pointless..."
"Totally is. But worth it..."
"So I can have one of my lecturer's bag on me, great idea..."
"It seemed like a good idea at the time!"
"I really do hope I'm more mature than you when I hit 3rd year."
"Yeah, keep hoping that."
"Anyway, I better go, see ya around."
"Hopefully. Yeah, probably, in fact."
"Looking forward to it, I think."
And I just left him there, hoping that some of my advice would stick, hoping that he would enjoy every moment, do some really immature things and some things that he never thought he would would ever do, I hope he hits on some people on a message board, I hope he starts his 339 soon, I hope he wakes up in a shopping trolley with a lamp shade, I hope he keeps saying the wrong answers during lecturers, I hope he eats a bit more, I hope he knows exactly what to say to himself in three years. Should I give him a hug? Would he find that a little gay?
Huh, I also thought that I'd remember a weird conversation like that with myself, but no, I remember everything from this first day at uni, like the fact that he's going to head to the wrong lecture room right now. Damn, should of told him which one it was, I remember just sitting at that desk, checking My Units, getting bored... And moving when a guy stood behind me, I remember moving to the other side of the room... And noticing that he had the same Cisco book as me and... aw crap. I turn around, and see that 10 metres away, on the other side of the library, and see a scruffy bloke, slightly shorter than me, with a shaved head and a chin with fluff all over it... Do I go over and do the conversation again, hmmm, sounds like a lot of effort. It'd probably cause a paradox anyway and I wouldn't exist. So that was a bit of a wasted trip. Ah well.
Wait, so whose life did I just stuff up? I sigh and start moving back for the return trip, and just as I'm walking down behind all the book cases, a guy stops me, he looks deep into my eyes, his serious expression gives way to giant grin.
"Boy, do I have a story for you..."
I blink, stare deep back into his, and after a moment of tense silence, hesitantly ask..
"We got laid yet?"
"Seriously, I can tell you stories about what happens during your next year, results, exam question, future interview questions, how to befriend a few bosses and ask for a payrise, how to present to TED and good topics to talk about, in fact, how to make your life better overall. And yet your still the sex obsessed person I am ashamed to ever be associated with. Grow up, start studying seriously and get your CCNP already, and be serious about it this time."
...
...
...
"... So that's a no then?"
Then, from around a corner, a girl's voice cries out "Can I make my overly dramatic entry now?"
The older man breaks from his grimace into into a great big smile "You really think I'd come all the way back here to give you job advice? I know you better than that."
He runs over and gives me a bear hug, then a fist bump.
"So, you ready to meet her?"
"I dunno, won't this break time?"
"This, is the girl of your dreams who you waited your whole life for..."
"Worth it, then."
"So, erm, got any ideas what you wanna say to her, I mean, this is my present for you for lasting through uni."
"Well. Look, TECHNICALLY, it wouldn't be cheating on you if I"
"Good to hear I haven't matured yet. Look, we'll talk for a little bit, but I think it would just get weird. Anyway, without further ado, I'd like you too meet someone..."
--------------------------------------------------
So, it's been a very intense couple of weeks. A few weeks where I have found I haven't really matured in terms of knowing how to do work when I don't feel like doing work. I mean, this was technically my last day at uni before exams, but it doesn't really feel over, I've still got pracs to do, so everything is a little on edge. You see, I've got the problem of doing a network unit again where all that matters is the prac and the final exam, and that's very bad at the end of the year when I've really run out of steam.
Since we last talked, I've moved back to my parents place which was an experience, as I found just how much dust I'd allowed to settle on everything.
That's the main discovery I've made over the previous few weeks - how I like being spontaneous as long as I have the occasional day of routine. Liking routine is a big problem when I can't get up in the morning without three alarms. However, onto discovery two when yesterday I did get up in time to head to my project meeting. The project's wrapping up, and apart from a boring webpage or my epicly awesome Cisco shirt, we really haven't got a lot to show off like other groups. Which is a pity. When I got impromptu-ly elected as meeting chair and discovered that I'm not very good as a meeting chair as I encourage tangents rather than stop then. This annoyed our usual meeting chair until he took over and we got back on schedule, however, there were a few times there when I got to talk in a serious voice about our progress and got some serious answers from group members, so management does look okay, as long as a better manager is not present.
I mean, it has been nice for my mother to find that I do have some sensible routine like hanging up my clothes after I get home for work, and I've discovered that she's still willing to do my washing, so it's been quite good for both parties concerned. It has been a pity cause now it takes longer to get to uni, so I'm glad I only have one morning exam in a couple of weeks. AND I *DON'T* HAVE THE SATURDAY ONE.
However, I've found that some games tech students have TWO on the Saturday of the study break... Seriously?
But in terms of assessment I have gotten to do one thing that I was kinda looking forward to doing during my time at uni. You see, on that first day during my sitting at that desk in the library I did think that one day I would spend my time at one of the desks fully wrapped in my own thoughts working on an assignment for a few solid hours. These are really good. doing an assignment in the library really limits your distractions, unless you're in the medical journals section researching how to live longer. It gives you the drive to really buckle down and sink a good number of hours into an assignment (and the vending machine with caffeine helps too.). But sadly... The 24 learning common is under threat of being closed. Meaning all-nighters at the Library may be no more. Which would be sad. Which is why it probably won't happen in my opinion. Murdoch management aren't that evil when they know that students actually attend university for something. So ignore the student election blurb that you may get sent if you click the "Like" button and do it anyway.
So, sorry, I don't actually know the secret to time travel, or if it causes parodoxi, or implied causality but I do know that without intervention from myself, I've managed to get through uni okay. This has been one of the nervous semesters though, where I'm not sure how I'm go with everything due to so much riding on exams. As much as I want to break out the Bailey's and chocolate topping, I've got to hold back for now and wait. What makes it even worse is that my final blog post for this blog is pretty much written, and I'm just waiting for at least 3 P's before hitting Publish. So you'll have to wait for that. Sadly I also have a blog post ready for if I ever failed a unit, I've always hoped that you would never see it but only time will tell.
But there has been some good stuff hovering around this blog, more importantly, to me, the searches which have found it: "WAIX torrents" - Unfortunately, unsuccessful, but a good crossover for me bringing up the point that in a recent survey of a very highly regarded international company, 40% of the network traffic was downloading torrents at work.
For those that don't know, torrents is illegal stuff, if you've got a friend, who's got a friend, who can get you the latest eps of True Blood, The Vampire Diaries or Dexter whatever show your are watching to vent your secret feelings of wanting to be in a more exciting relationship (I'm not one of these guys, downloading TV shows is irresponsible, illegal and there are much better places where you can stream TV shows instead which are a lot harder to restrict on a network than torrent traffic. ) On a very serious note people, just because the company you work for has an OC-3 line doesn't mean you should suck it up with something silly like torrent traffic, you can be arrested, you can be imprisoned, YOU CAN EVEN BE FIRED.
Seriously, they are paying a lot for that bandwidth, and it should be used for actual work related stuff, more and more business are switching to VoIP meaning that your voice traffic is running down the same line that your co-worker is trying to get "Sex and the City 2" through. I know which one's more important. And this time it's not the one with the sex scenes. So please, when you're at work, try to stay work related, those network guys can track every packet back to you. Seriously, they'll get the Cyber Police back tracin' your ass.
Now at Uni it's a different story, mainly because I have it on good authority, but I won't name names, that none of the student traffic through the Gateway is monitored. Students run torrents through there on actual torrent ports, rather than moving the traffic onto a more legitimate port. Now the thing stopping people from doing this is the fact that all our internet is paid for through Quota... That is, until, again, from a source I won't name, apparently, next year we will be quota free. Problem being that once Murdoch do this, there will be people who want to abuse the hell out of it and download as much as possible. To them I suggest some Stateful filtering, but again, I hope not to be there to see how they crack down on the people.
Speaking of Quota:
Total Print Quota I've given to Murdoch: $6.20
Ending Balance: $0.33
Total Internet Quota purchased: $5.00
Current Balance: $52.04
"Hello, ITS? I'd like to make a Withdrawal..." or a bigger deposit, I mean, that's gotta be the best interest I've ever seen. Speaking of the word "Interest" why don't we have seperate words for interest that increases a loan and interest that increases a positive balance?
Other search queries bringing people to this blog:
"My sisters humiliate me" - You're doing it wrong, start humiliating them
"Outcomes assessment, University Sucks" You're doing it wrong, start being awesome
"+("murdoch university" "murdochuni" "murdoch uni") - "Rupert murdoch" - AWWW remember using boolean in searches! Aw that was so much fun! Aw you don't? That's right Google haven't supported them (properly) in ages... AltaVista all the way!
"Humiliate Me, Humiliate Me" - Although this blog is indeed quite self deprecating I do it so you will be entertained... ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!
"Blogger porn site passwords" - shoot me an email and we'll talk, to show you I'm serious about the material I have I'll tempt you with this very saucy not safe for work (because you should be working not looking at images or reading this blog at work) image right here
"I told him she was taken" - But I went out with her anyway. Speaking of that found out Stalkee #1 has moved on. Ah well, apparently she dropped the guy she was seeing to go see this other guy, and I know that guy quite well and he's treating her alright, and I know if she was very quick to switch guys and didn't do that with me she must not have been into me, which is kinda sad, but I always have a picture... and a street address... and a lock of hair... and a phone number... and an email address, in fact enough to put me away for quite some time.
"lachlan harris" - Hazzah, the people wanted this, and they got this
"Mr Squiggle's blackboard" - The only thing I remember about him was him being horribly impatient and only having one working eye. Is that really how people remember me?
tiny - I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE
lachlan's last laugh - I didn't get that because they cleaned the stain of the building, now no one will know I spent some of the best years of my life at Murdoch, I'm going to have to do something that will last a bit longer than a stain. Hmmm, a whole bunch of vet students just did a nude calender...
Lachlan Gay Naked - WOOOOOH, I was only thinking about a calender, I haven't taken any photo's yet! However, I do see a point that the constant crying of "I NEED A WOMAN" could lead people to believe I'm gay, as far as I know this isn't the case. Which is a pity cause I really want to stand up at Christmas dinner and yet a big admission. Something like "MUM, DAD, I FORGOT TO PUT OUT THE RUBBISH BINS A FEW WEEKS AGO" but I don't think it would work, but I'm not sure if this would have as an impressive impact as I would like it to.
and last BUT NOT LEAST:
"Wall-e critical analysis" - This makes me feel so good. I know the person searching for this probably has an essay question, like, "Describe problems of large human community migration into space with examples from the film Wall-E" or something just as mundane and making the film tedious. But the potential that my blog may have been skimmed to see some interesting view points of the potential programming of compassion inside an A.I. makes me feel really good. The fact that it does appear in a search engine list. The fact that someone out there may read and see a more interesting point of view to a film that means a lot to me makes me feel very happy indeed.
OTHER big ITS news: The OCC and the new sites!
The OCC, or Official Communications channel is a really good idea, notices that can only be used from a fake inbox in MyInfo that is for, well, official communications. These are the types of email that Murdoch wants you to get and not blame your spam filter. So stuff like Uni fees, Exemptions and other unit related stuff. I recently got one that said "Our records say that you should graduate at the end of the year" go to this site to make sure everything goes okay. So that was kinda exciting. Wish that they could be excited too
CONGRATULATIONS! YOU MIGHT GRADUATE! WE MADE A SITE! YOU SHOULD GO LOOK AT IT! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
But that might not set the right tone.
In other news the Beta tags have disappeared and the new sites for staff and students are finished and looking good!
Wait, it took them about two years to get that site ready... There's still all of MyMurdoch to fix, and the sites for the campus maps, and calender, and glossary.. and okay let's stop there and just congratulate the whole Murdoch web team for at least adding quite a few more pages to the "Looking Sexy" pile and out of the "Made in 1996" pile.
So well done!
Still no tweet to this blog though...
I think I can just about wrap up now though.
I do have some graffiti of the week, so lets look at some pics
"Pantaloons" is a pretty funny word - Indeed it is!
"I LIKE PIE" - Again, graffiti which is truthful, relevant and unanimous! FULL MARKS!
"LOOK LEFT" - Why what will I see?
"LOOK RIGHT" - But there's just a look left sign?! Then I would... Oh... I see what you did there...
"This gate must be open or shut at all times" - Somewhere, somehow a quantum physicist just got really pissed off
Hmmm... All most interesting... Well, until, I get arrested for unlawful time travel resulting in a better future for myself, good bye!
* Source, probably not the best, as it's only from one university, but interesting none the less.
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