The only way I can remember how to spell Analysis is remembering "Analy."
Good evening class. I'm not doing a media degree, and I only got a B for year Media, so take all of this as personal opinion from someone who isn't a master of the subject, and shouldn't really have any say in the matter in a public forum. Such as Roger Ebert thinking games aren't art forms. Have you played Braid or Flower? Seriously? Although you did write Beyond the Valley of the Dolls which I haven't seen/read personally but sounds like a damn good attempt at adding plot to a porno. Bottom line 1. Flower, Dynamo hell even Geometry Wars or Space Giraffe, all deserve a special place. 2. I will not watch porn with plot it just makes me feel more ashamed.
Moving right along.
Dinner Table. This time last year. Dinner with housemate's parents.
H.M's Mum: Although I did like Wall-e.
Me: Wall-e was sweet. I mean, I really like the fact that all the director wanted to do was a story about how the last robot of earth wasn't turned off and the sweet love story that occurs.
H.M's Mum: Oh but there's much more to it than that, I mean, how obese humans have got because of the little amount of movement and the fact that we are still heavily a throw away society causing our own planet's destruction.
OKAY. BACK THE FUCK UP. (as in *beep *beep* *beep*)
Now when I was young, I was taught the idea that I was young and had very little knowledge of the world, so I learnt how to shut up. When I because I teenager I was all like "YEAH! I'M ALMOST AN ADULT I HAVE PERSONALLY FORMED OPINIONS BACKED BY A MORALITY SYSTEM THAT I HAVE CREATED OUT OF SELECTING AND COMBINING THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS OF OTHERS INTO A PERSONAL DEVELOPED MENTALITY OF RIGHT AND WRONG SO I CAN FORM MY OWN PERSONAL PERCEPTION ABOUT WHAT I BELIEVE TRUE TO BE ABOUT THE WORLD WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT DYNAMICALLY CHANGE DUE TO THE FUTURE ENCOUNTERS WITH OTHER PEOPLE IF I CHOSE TO CONSIDER THAT SELECTIONS OF THEIR PERSONA CONTRIBUTE OR COMPLEMENT MY OWN PERSONAL UNDERSTANDINGS!! YEAH!" (As you can tell I was a hoot to have around at leavers.
This then changed when I went to university as I realised I was young and still hugely impressionable due to my lack of actual contrasting view points. I have since gone back to doubting my own opinion and knowing that there is a high chance that my own viewpoint will be hated by someone else. I'm still very scared to lodge an opinion I know is true.
And I guess in this circumstance the parent was trying to make me look at the broader picture stuff away from central themes. But in Wall-e the additional themes are all so negative. They're all so away from the simplistic idea which the movie started with, that I love to focus on. So I didn't continue the argument. I've learnt since that arguments are pretty much meaningless anyway. I have my opinions, you have yours why should I even challenge them when I don't want my own to be challenged?
Philosophical, yeah. I like that stuff. So anyway, back to the trash compacter, I, like most people I know of, love this film - hugely due to the fact of the fact that there really are no words for the first third of the film and you know exactly what's going on. And then it wins an Oscar. And then the director mentions "Steve Jobs" in his speech and it was all over and the movie has not be spoken of since.
The love story in Wall-e is pretty straight forward,
1. Wall-e finds a movie and wants to hold someone's hand. Damn I'm so glad that he found Hello Dolly. He could of found "Heavy Metal" or "American Pie" or... "Hannah Montana" It's okay Wall-e, Miley Cyrus (Ironically, Sirus could also be pronounced this way.) is dead by the time you read this blog.
Sorry, could you just go make sure? Thanks.
2. Another hand shows up, it's attached to a robot that wants to find a plant.
3. For convenience of story telling, Wall-e has a plant.
4. No body can find the plant
5. Wall-e pisses eve off by breaking stuff and getting her in trouble.
6. Wall-e has the plant and they space dance in space. How does the fire extinguisher not explode? During this Wall-e gets the warm touch of a woman he's already been secretly hoping for.
7. He also receives a discharge of static electricity. Now this is always described as a "kiss" or a sharing of affection. This, although unexplainable discharge from Eve (Damn right I'm going to use the word 'Discharge.') is the sweetest part of the non-verbal stuff displayed.
Sharing of affection in human society is most physical and sweet between the couple and damn weird to everyone else. The male of a couple I know gives the female a raspberry to show that he loves her. Side point 1, happy that he didn't decide to do this during the ceremony, side point 2, why is it always something people also happily to do babies? All that sweet baby talk is okay when it's refereed to as "sweet nothings."
"Lachlan, this post will come back to haunt you one day."
"Yes, Yes it will, and dammit I'm getting sick of waiting."
"oooOOOOoooo, looks like someone's writing a post to vent their true thoughts that the only reason that all they can see is the love story in Wall-e because they truely connect to Wall-e on a personal level in the fact that you also feel like an unwanted soul on an empty abandoned planet waiting to be rescued by the girl of his dreams.."
"Well, durr, you just wait until I get onto Happy Feet in a moment"
"You mean this post isn't even half over?"
"Nope. Okay, now chill, do not yell at the person on the other end of the phone, he knows his blog posts are too long and need a bigger audience."
"Isn't this blog about being a student?"
"349 is too much work , 338, Linux is fun but I hopefully won't need to use it daily and Perl is awesome, 362, I wish I could just get the commands for CBAC and VPNs in my head. There, you happy? And plus, the last post was about Murdoch Encounters and the next post will be about Live@edu!"
"Murdoch is outsourcing it's mail into the cloud?!"
"I know, right? Hell scary. But I'll get onto clouds next post."
I love the fact that Wall-e is just so not ready for that charge that he just floats off, that' awesome.
8. Eve reviews security footage of all Wall-e went through to make sure Eve was safe, including a game of Pong on the original Atari 2600 which is bullcrap cause the score won't reach 7000 on the original. Eve can't help but feel moved.
9. Wall-e is beaten up for the plant, because he knows it makes Eve happy. if (Eve == happy){ Wall-e = happy; } and as long as you have Eve, happy and Wall-e defined, that will compile in most 3rd level and higher languages. It is at this point where we have the sweetest line of the verbal portion Wall-e: Directive? (hands Eve the plant.) Eve: (Eve ditches the plant and takes Wall-e hand.) Directive.
"I have a new agenda, the one I was programmed to do is null. I've met you and frankly, right now, the most important thing above all others is making sure you're safe."
If that doesn't rip out your heart strings than only a blood thirsty axe murderer will.
10. Wall-e reminds Eve that the replacements are on Earth, if she takes the plant, the ship will go to Earth and she can fix him. Eve is then ecstatic and gets the plant and the ship flies home.
Let's just ignore the awesome 2001 tribute even though it's awesome and point out the fact that the only reason the ship is going home is so that Eve can fix Wall-e. THE SAVING OF THE HUMAN RACE TAKES A BACKSEAT. And I don't want to meet the couple that puts the human race in front of their love. And, thankfully, I haven't yet. Okay, I've met a few where there would be a few seconds hesitation, but then they think of something, I don't know what, maybe the time they've had together, maybe something one of them did for the other, maybe just something simple like the sex, and the human race is canned.
11. Eve fixes Wall-E and after some moments of being stuck in default, Wall-e's personality loads (Think about how you're computer isn't yours until it logs into your account.)
This is done by doing the hand hold that Wall-e has really wanted all along, and a second static discharge, this one created out of desperation, kind of like a kiss given to a comatose patient "I know you're in there somewhere and I love you, so you better wake up otherwise I'm totally changing my Facebook status back to single." (Speaking of relationship status why isn't there "Wishes @name would notice @name" "@name want's to Court" or "@name is @name's F-buddy" Oh come on, we all know it happens.)
"And their love was eternal." Although some people online have followed this up with "Only if Wall-e would agree to install anti-virus before they plug into each other." And I'm being 100% serious here, on select cartoon porn sites, they are plugged into each other, there is coolant fluid and several comments below the gallery consisting of "Why? How does anybody get turned on by this?" and then, by the same user sometime later "I just got turned on by this, should I see a therapist?" (Therapist, another word I can only spell by remembering "The-rapist".)
So that's how I see it. A love story. And if I ever get to code an AI for a robot with laser guns and the want to exterminate all meatbags, it's going to get a crush on another one. And I also want to see the next version of Norton released in a little foil package.
Now because that took an hour and a half to write, my next two films will be in parts 2 and 3.
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