An issue I have NO authority to talk about but will anyway

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes. 




The following deals with a few issues and topics which are a bit touchy to some people.


Dear MCU and anyone who is offended with the topics of religious comedy, stalking and the want to attack shiny things,


I'm not going out of my way to offend. You have been warned. More specific apologies are dealt with throughout, just grin and bear it. Or you know, you could scroll through it, rather than purposefully finding something that offends you and attacking me on it, or shoot me a kind email saying "Yeah, that kinda hit a nerve, if you wouldn't mind, if it does come up again, being a bit more sensitive, that'd be great." or "Look I've got a few hundred people not liking this, can you move it to a blog outside what is accessible from the uni website?" and I'll respond. "Happily, thanks for emailing me rather than troubling any of the ethics committees with this small matter."

"Wow, it really is empty."


"Well, he said it would happen, like this, on the third day he'd rise again."


"Let's us pray for him, brother, as he taught us how, Abwûn d'bwaschmâja..."


"Wait a sec.."


"What's the matter?"


"He said he'd come back on the third day.."


"Yes, and it is the third day of his death."


"No it's not, he died on Friday right, that means yesterday was the first day of his death."


"Ah, but we will note that he died on the Friday, did not see the end of the Friday, therefore, the FIRST day of his death."


"But it's not REALLY is it? I mean, think about declaring an array, what the first element?"


"I hardly see what this has to do with.."


"WHAT IS THE FIRST ELEMENT IN AN ARRAY."


"... The zeroth."


"Exactly, his first day of actually being at the Father's hand would of been yesterday. Therefore he should of come back on Monday."


"Well, not really don't you think it would of been more appropriate to come back at the day of rest?"


"True but it's a bit of a lie. Wait no one has been hear since yesterday afternoon, he could of got out last night! That means he could of been in there for under 24 hours!"


"(Another one of the tweleve, trying to change the subject.) Oh look, Mary has changed her status from 'widowed' to 'it's complicated.'"


"Darn right it's complicated. Seriously... Is she now technically... a... Necrophilliac? But really, that is nice. Wait. He's is yet to change his.. Essssh... This could get ugly... Oh and he's created two groups 'I am not the undead, nor a zombie, I'm just resurrected' and 'Petition to make Facebook support two birthdays."


"Two birthdays? Who would want that?"


"The Queen of England and Paddington Bear."


"That makes sense.. But I still think he should of risen on MONDAY."


"Look, why are you so adamant about this?"


"Cause I already sort of applied for flexitime on Monday to get it off so I could celebrate."


"Well, all the more reason to celebrate tonight, you have tomorrow to get over it."


'True, but I'm skint till tomorrow."


'Blast, anyone got anything to shout a couple of rounds?"


"No sorry."


"Darn, spent the last of mine getting here."


"(sigh) ur, I've got 30 silver pieces that I don't mind sharing. Under the current circumstances.. Least I could do..."


"Right let's go eat, drink and be with Mary!"




Hence, Easter Monday was born.


Now, I've tried not dealing with religion before but I thought up this dialog in my  head last night and thought it pretty darn funny. So I'd like to state. I am a Christian. Although, you can blab on me for the fact had to double check that it was 30 pieces of silver, and the first lines of the Lords prayer in Aramaic. Although I was to scared to attribute names to anyone, don't know which one would of been the Facebook freak. Bet it was Batholemuew. Seriously, how bad was the thing he did, in order to get pretty much banished from the scripture? Judas, sold the Son of God and he got in. I reckon Thaddeus was omitted cause seriously, who could take anything seriously said by someone named Thaddeus (With apologies to Rachel Flynn.)


I Hang round with mostly Atheists in my own little bubble of private conversation with what I believe is higher power and having a reason to get up early on a Sunday cause I already sleep in on Friday's and Saturday's. I'd like to also state, that I think I'm funny. I have a few friends and lecturer's (and another group of students and a lecturer that think I have an obsession with old, moldy milk. And whilst I do like my bit of old English or a nice strong cheddar, I have no recollection of where this originated.)  that think I'm not and that's free for them to think that. However they must realise that I am a bit turrets when it comes to thinking of something I think is funny.


Now when it comes to my own values and beliefs, I believe that only mine should NOT be sacred, therefore, trying the course of if I only make fun of my own beliefs I have this inbuilt line in the sand that I think should be the limit. But I have offended Christians, one to the point of blocking me on msn after we got talking about Revelations and I just made the off comment that I wonder if the second coming will be amended to there or put in a completely new book. Sure, it wasn't quite worded like that, his faith and the way he celebrates his faith didn't allow for that. And again, I apologise to him for overstepping his line. (It was a while ago, but I realise how much it hurts when someone else attacks your own ideology that it really stings. I don't like it happening to me, I shouldn't do it to him.)


So I have done stand up at a couple of Christian conventions. I would love to do more stand up, can anybody hook me up with some open mikes, don't wanna do it as a career, it's just I love doing it occasionally. Okay well technically the same Christian convention, just different instances of. I have given adequate warnings that "This may offend some people, if you have a stronger faith system than I do, please leave the room as I don't want to offend." Although that said I still wanted to test the timeless Robot Chicken line 'Mary Magdalen: (looking under bedsheets.) "Jesus, I think you're ready for a second coming." And I have to say it went down better than I thought, some applauded laughing, but generally people handled it, which makes me happy, not only for the group of Christians I was in that could tolerate the idea of jokes about a person who they consider one of the most powerful influences in their life (provided they were warned, of course.) Of course with that comes the equally powerful discussion of whether Mary did in fact take the Son of God's name in vein that night. Proper noun or exclamation? Who knows?


Now before this get's any more low I would like to state that I ended the bit with God yelling down the phone at me before wanting me to, as always, look at his printer. I guess, I'm not trying to say anything, I'm just trying to state that his Sunday actually does mean something to me and I just want the readers of this blog to know that I do have a line and also that Murdoch Uni is very open to all faiths, including the group who is now plotting a way to somehow make me appear a sympathiser to the Judean's People's Front.


(Yep. That's a new low.)


The MCU, or Murdoch Christian's Union is one of the many religious built university groups, is always outside the library on a Thursday for a chat about anything and how God fits into your everyday life in a good way, it's not strictly joining a church, but joining a group to share faith and feel like you have a place to belong at Murdoch.


If you do want to join a group at Murdoch, but however, want a group that will aid you in the event of the zombie apocalypse, you might want to come to EH 1.005 on THIS Friday from 4.30pm and be part of the MITS AGM. Please. 


Graffiti of the week (Originally this blog was going to have TWO other topics (more about my job and talk about relationships at uni, both of which MAY come up later.), okay? Be greatful it's only this long.)

Several of these popped up around uni, random chalk drawings (This time with no inspiring words or fake blood.) each with the line "Are you read for Murdoch encounters?" and the date "29/3/2010" 


I'm not sure I am ready for any 'encounter' which appears to have chalk and too much time on its hands. And on the 29th...

This arrived. Three screens advertising the winning of prizes and an equation that makes no sense.


Create + Contribute = Explore ??


Create + Contribute = Sounds like a lot of work


Explore = Finding stuff out.


Geez. Check a dictionary before trying to say something poetic. 






And I don't care what they say. They can't keep a security guard there all the time. Especially not during the upcoming MITS LAN from 6pm onwards THIS Friday at EH 1.005. I'm going to climb on that.


So until I get done for heresy and blasphemy, goodbye and God bless.