A very ego filled post from 2015. Try #1: All goes well, and I end up in a grad program I like.

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch, Cisco Ltd., IBM, The Australian department of immigration or any of their affiliates.

This blogs opinion of people of Irish or Russian origin or the population of Madison, Wisonsin are not actual views of the blogger and were exclaimed by a freind while he was intoxicated. Honestly.

All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

It's a beautiful Thursday, the sun is shining in a completely empty blue sky, I can hear the beach slowly coming in to the beautiful gold coast beach twelve stories below me, I can the salt water below is putting a, er, nice salty smell in the air, and the taste of this nutella straight from the jar is just that much sweeter knowing that I don't have work today, you'll find out why shortly. I could of actually laid in bed forever, staring at the celing had not Charlie started to play with my hair.

She's put on a bit a weight now, so she back to being quite healthy. Waking up and the first thing I see is someone else's eyes is no longer scaring me, but instead just a sweet reminder of how nice it is for the manager of my building to allow me to keep a pet rabbit in the apartment. Be able to say that my first home away from my parents has been this high rise apartment just a few streets back from the Gold Coast is a very awesome feeling, somehow, this place was in my budget when I was fresh out of uni and accepted into IBMs grad program for networking type stuff (you don't want to get me started on what I do, it is the reason I don't attend fancy dinner parties, all I'd talk about is layer two of the OSI model, which is of course the data link layer which encompasses all switching technologies and, you see? I'm terrible, I'm turning into one of those people who lives to work. But I love it.) which unfortunatly was only avalible in the terrible location of Queensland. As you've probably read in a post a fair while ago when I got this place, it's a 80's One bedroom apartment, but it is only a stone's throw away from the beach (although, if you do actually throw a stone, you've got a one in two chance of hitting a macca's.

It's interesting to think that it's now been 2 complete years since finishing my grad program, and it's already partway through this year, but I'm very glad I somehow scored a job here. I love the place, I love the people at work and I love the fact that I'm allowed to have very little social life apart from after hours on Friday (Unfortunatly, like IBM's latest spanning tree development, I'm not really legally allowed to talk about it without being hunted down and shot.)

and that brings us to the reason I contacted you all to read this (Mum, you can stop reading now, you know I'm alive and well and eating. Go.. Do something else now...)

Yeah, I have a hand in a cast...

Pretty much for the first time in my life I didn't just stick to the Midori's like I should of, and experimented with a few more interesting drinks. The guy's realising one of them could be exploited again (There is that other tale of Blake and some fun with a magic marker, which I have posted about several weeks ago at new years.) deciding to nicely walk me to my apartment decided to see if I could walk up my last flight of stairs unaccompanied soon saw me back around the landing they were on. With one of my hands on a very odd angle.

Thankfully, somebody managed to get me to the emergency room and everything got sorted out and I have a few weeks of. Without pay mind you. That sucks a bit.

But anyway, I feel pretty good concidering I can no longer give people the bird. But anyway. That's all that has happened in my very uneventful few weeks since my last post.

Grafitti of the week:

This comes from a toilet near the office I work in

Great advice...

Until I get banned from the network, or break another limb. Goodbye.

The Not-so-bad-bits and Murdoch after dark

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

Before I get on with this weeks post, I understand, due to the fact that the sweet new micro site is up and I'm on said site I thought that I might get a few new visitors, eagerly awaiting my post to try and show that I still have what it takes to get visitors and not cause a fuss, I though I'd direct their attention to some of my most proud moments, answering such questions as

What do they mean "Leaving assignments to the last minute?"

and what about your advice about new bloggers?

All I've read is some advice for year 12 students about proper advice on how to use lampshades

Why do most of your pot have a discloser statement? Is that why they call you controversial? HEY? WHAT DID YOU DO?

Did you really compare exams to having sex?

Or Death?

REALLY? Your kind of creepy... How did you get this job again?

Troll through my archive, there's some stuff hidden there that even I've forgotten about. Like other things you can do with a pen during an exam.

No I'm not linking that up, you have to find it yourself.

I think I'm going to chose option A for my next blog, might be up by the end of the day, may cram this list in again in an entirely different way.

Anyway, the Feature Presentation

Murdoch is one of the biggest university campuses in Australia, it's the biggest in W.A. anyway. It's got lots of grass (the unsmokable kind, for those concerned.), forrested area and places filled with sheep. Though normally filled with an excess of homo sapiens, it is when they all go home that you see the true nightlife of this place come alive and during an incident with a box of red bull during a MITs LAN I got to see the true campus at 4.30 AM.

The first thing that is noticible is the odd amount of lighting in the campus. It's all very ambeint, on bush court, a lot of the lights are yellowing with age. You can only just make out the rabbits maintaining the large amount of grass land, and run like crazy when you walk anywhere near them. It's a very dark an errie place, disturbed only by the flashing green of the ANZ ATM and the TV in the library showing that there is currently very little solar activity.

Is it just me, or is there some irony there? Largest solar grid in Australia, yet we still don't mind consuming energy with the computers left powered on in the library. I'm not talking just one or two, I'm talking all of them.

I know it is probably more hasle to turn them off, they probably take an age to boot up but there is such thing as getting the moniters to turn off automatically and.. SHUT UP LACHLAN. Look, I don't mean to cause any problems, it's just, I tells it like I sees it. I really do like Murdoch.. honestly.

But other then the library and select people doing all nighters in classrooms for projects and study sessions. It's a black hole. The sounds of crickets and birds just make the area seem so natural and beautiful, peaceful. It will definatly be one of the places I visit when all of humanity is wiped out. (No, I still don't know why I survive I just do, and NO I will not be setting my 2015 post during the zombie apocolypse even tempting as it may be... Should I? No. Better not. sigh.)

Oh and your sign is broke.

Lol.

See, Look how screwed up my phone's camera is from bright light in the middle of pitch blackness.

However, I do recommend during your time at Murdoch, after one of those all nighters in the library, get outside and watch and listen to the sun rise, it's warm, the birds get into their full swing and you're sick of watching episodes of Animorphs or Where's Wally? airing at the LAN. (Yes, you can become sick of these, no matter how awesome they look at 3.30 they look pretty bad at 5.30). It was worth staying if not for the Invader Zim, for that beautiful smell/sound and sights that Murdoch provide when no one else is around.

So yeah, if you were waiting for my 2015 post it'll be up sometime this weekend, and we leave you tonight, with this Grafitti of the week.

"I still love Steven." in ECL 3

Now I must go and kick this person off my couch

and wish that someone would do my 218 for me.

Underwhelming - To fail to interest; usually used in response to something that was presented as exciting

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

Yes, I wanted to put "Ask me about: A GOOD TIME" too.

Ho hum. 6 Hours of unpaid work. actually, did get a shirt, it's not too bad, it's got long sleeves, don't mind promoting Murdoch. Would of been like $25 at the Alumni building... Actually, quite worth it.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure that a lot of people got stuff out of open day, I'm sure parents were relieved to think that their son or daughter was looking at university (especially as one as cool as Murdoch.) And this post will not be ridiculing Murdoch, it's more about being pissed at I.T. and the way it's presented. I'm not really sure where to start, but a second disclaimer is probably a good idea.

A HELL OF A LOT OF ORGANISATION GOES INTO ORGANISING OPEN DAY. Lots of cleaning up, tables, advertising, volunteering, lecturers, signage, stickers and pamphlets have to co-oridnated to produce a good show of the stuff that is available at Murdoch. But in my confine of ECL, it unfortunately wasn't very evident. I did see the bunch of marquees in Bush Court with people talking about every course, directing new comers. I saw the live music, and the horrendous waste of custard.

But, it wasn't right.

At one point in year 11, I had my heart set on Marketing. I loved the idea of going into advertising, the way of creating a memorable lol or slogan for people to get stuck in their heads. But, instead I chose to go down the IT route when I realised how much of a sham it was. Companies mindlessly twisting facts and screaming slander to make their product better then the competition. It simply came down to the bottom line, rather then creating a short story adding the product as an after thought. I chose IT cause I didn't just want to be there to make some company money. I wanted to provide a service to make a company better compared to itself. IT can be actually perceived like that, improving software, security or a network, to make it simply... Better then it was.

Open Day, was well, trying to show that Murdoch was better then the other uni's. And although I love being a Murdoch blogger (although probably not for my longer. :) ) and promoting Murdoch's awesome IT Majors, the day itself was all a sham. I really don't want to post this, and I may be asked to take it down.

(I will, if emailed at 30788034@student.murdoch.edu.au you don't even have to supply a reason!)

Games tech, for example was promoted with a bunch of consoles showing Halo 3 and Guitar Hero (No, none of the games tech units do directly code for consoles, proprietary reasons, but you do pick up some of the language that works on them.), rather then students own work, a selection of PREVIOUS year's was on posters and one projector. Robotics was shown with a PhD students work from about 10 years ago and a few toys (although it did show two current very interesting research projects, one involving object identification and handling as well as movement systems in bipedal and climbing robots.) There was also a nice walk through of Game Maker, which is used in first year games tech. Then there were personality quizzes (a open day staple for the IT department.) and then four computers which had the two disk images from last semester's Cyber Forensic unit (Yay!!! Even though I only got a credit for it, it was still a lot of fun going through Miss Hill's HDD.) But I mean, there were a few of us explaining the sort of stuff that was made up of the Cyber Forensic unit, and the sort of things that were on the hard drive images. It just didn't feel.. Right. I'm sure that most people who left there were sure that the Cyber Forensic major simply had that course in (I know I did when I attended open day a couple of years ago.).

The day doesn't teach about the real student experience. I was too scared to even promote this blog, any of the other blogs, or even the blogging competition, because it didn't seem the type of student life that the open day organisers wanted to promote. They wanted rose-tinted, so I gave rose-tinted.

"Yes, I find the Cyber Forensic course easy and I quickly adjusted to the more difficult assignments given by university units."

They didn't want to about how sloth I've become, how I've enjoyed the MITS LANs as one of the best things at uni, that people should stay away from the cauliflower cheese at Carve-A-Roast (you don't want to know.). They didn't want to know that I gave up my time on Sunday which I should of used for an assignment due tomorrow (at the time of posting this) at 12pm, wish me luck for tonight!

I chose Murdoch because I loved the fact that they had a networking major there, that, when I asked at the open day I attended, they didn't mind admitting they had, and even one of the volunteers there showed me my first console window to a Cisco router. Another uni ( I won't say which.) were pushing for me to do computer science rather then their own networking unit. Another one didn't even really want to say they had an IT school. Sigh, I choose Murdoch, cause Murdoch seemed to want me. Mr Boddington (Cyber Forensics guy.) said last Sunday that more people need to get into IT, and he wouldn't mind if it became a more gender balanced field.

One uni is currently pushing that their Computer Scientists end up coding for the WA police force to stop cyber crime.

1. They don't actually have a cyber forensics course, so they don't really know what they are dealing with
2. WA isn't going to well with stopping cyber crime
3. Cyber crime won't be stopped by code alone, it needs actual police work
4. You can't just jump straight to coding for that, they aren't actually saying how good the coders they are churning out are, they are just making me more scared about how poor the fight against cyber crime is
5. Sorry, this ad REALLY needs to be taken off TV, it just pisses me off

I, personally, couldn't see the promotion needed at this open day.

I know in other fields its different, it may actually be a challenge to chose between universities (pick Murdoch anyway, it's got the biggest Campus in WA! Okay, so a lot of it is currently covered in sheep and their excrement.) but in my area, Murdoch was the best choice.

Some people may just see a uni and stick with it, meaning attending a open day just is pointless, they have their heart set on a particular uni, okay they may not like it in the end, but... This event just seems annoying. And redundant. I'm not saying stop it, there are people out there who don't know what they want to do, want to see what uni's are offering doing.

I'm just saying I wish they'd do it differently...

But what do know, I'm just a second year, average student with a blog and too much to say.

Yes, this was unfortunately a serious post, but if it got me annoyed, I'd hate to see what it did to someone who was actually wanting "a student experience"

My advice, for people wanting a student experience

1. Stay awake all night
2. Drink a red bull
3. Make your way to campus
4. Skip the lecture anyway

The truth hurts.

Grafitti of the week!

While we're on the topic of poor advertising a post it note, left on the back door of an ECL toilet:

"Lacto bacillus can improve the digestive system and reduce diarrhea ask you chemist for Blackmoore's Lacto bacillus."

It's one hell of a weird collection of students. I do hope you join us next year.

YOUR CHANCE to humiliate me.

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

Like junk mail, bills and a creepy guy who you met on a message board and wasted money on vodka cruisers at the tavern and then offered you a lift home and found out where you lived, opportunity comes to you often at Murdoch, volunteer projects from the guild, disciplined based societies and the occasional flash mob. But instead of unpaid student slavery by a hypocritical group (joke, the guild helps many students in unfortunate situations anyway possible through these worthy causes, such as the soup kitchen, to help those students on a tight budget.), finding poor excuses to avoid responsibilities or finding a good way to get rid of a lot of copies of meteor all at once, I'm here to talk to you about a much better opportunity. An opportunity to screw me over.

I'm talking about the official 2010 Murdoch blogger.

There can only be one winner, but as postcards appearing in the ref, emails from uni and the official Murdoch home page clearly reveal (Okay, it WAS there, but now I can't find it.), I, rather, we, are being replaced. The new blogger however will be a little bit better and gain just a little more respect than me because of the benefits which appear with this position.

YOU SCORE: a URL on Murdoch homepage... Somewhere... Hidden... Hopefully a bit less...

A internship with Southbound, I'm not really sure what this entails, I've read up and there's something about working at live events around Perth in your chosen field of study... Something like that.. Something to put on your CV

Money... Apparently, although it could just be more parking or bus fair (which believe me has been AWESOME, don't get me wrong.) But it could be that you actually get you choice in what this money goes towards (Which, like all uni students, will get sucked into various vending machines, the ref and the bookshop.)

So you think you can entertain random university staff during their Friday night booze up (Not really actually a joke, it seems to be half my audience.)?

My advice (as a blogging veterinarian. (This joke would have been much more successful if I were actually doing veterinary sciences (Just one of the amazingly diverse choices this university has to offer. (Gotta love the plug.)))):

Write often as possible: Your getting benefits for this, make it a worthwhile investment for the uni.

Stay on topic...ish: You will run out of student things sure, but that's what the blog is meant for, the outsiders who want to know what Murdoch is like, shamelessly go into details about how confusing the library is the first time you walk in, that the drinking fountains are never used or have used condoms on them (I wonder if they are never used because there have been used condoms on them, or that the used condoms were put there cause the fountains are never used... Either way there are better less anonymous ways of showing that you can get free condoms at the Health and Counseling building. And there is also a bin like right at the end of the ECL walkway, you lazy person.) or that you can't get icypoles anywhere on campus. (GUILD. GET YOUR PRIORITIES RIGHT.). Yes you will run out of priceless gems like these, but at least talk about things you think students might be interested in. Like the MITS LAN.

Make it funny sometimes: Make some observational humour. I... don't actually have a joke or anecdote for here.

Don't overuse brackets. (No really, you'll start, and then you just can't stop (and all it does it annoy the reader. (Speaking of readers, I'd like to say a formal thank you to my fourth follower. Diea (I hope I pronounced that right. ) apparently studying to be a teacher of some description.. Or a secret guild member waiting to find the next thing they can remove my link for. Probably going to be that condom thing. IT WAS THERE. I SWEAR.)

So am I going to try for this spot? You bet your sweet GPA I am, although with the advertising and the bit better prizes I'm assuming that the title will be stripped from by some better competition. Alas. There is only one spot and I just hope that blogger can be more awesome and get a HUGE following, even if it means writing his link all over toilet doors (It doesn't work, for anyone who's wondering.). But until the handing over of the title this blog will run its course continuing to update irregularly with posts of my latest exploits and antics, with an ever shrinking fan base. Geez, I have to ring my sister up to get her to read this but she laughs. I'm on the other end of the phone right now aren't I? Can you remind me about my 218 and 265 assessments, and also to buy some milk cause we're running out.

Now, exact details of what you have to do to apply for this, haven't exactly been revealed yet, but there might be more info at open day. I will be attending open day, plugging the competition, this blog and for people to do Internetworking and Security. You'll be able to read about it shortly in my OPEN DAY EXTRAVAGANZA (actually it shall just be some text describing anything that stood out during the day.

So start writing a blog, jokes, anything and I could be spamming comments on your blog before you know it!

Graffiti of the week. It's sad. This was one of my blogs most promising things. Sad to know that one day I won't be able to use this as an excuse to go into a female toilet. Sigh. Also kinda sad cause I haven't really seen any good stuff lately. This post is too long anyway. Brock, if you have gotten this far, can you remind me to remind my sister that I have now brought milk, although it might be running out. Now, my ultimate piece of advice? Spellcheck.

My lesser piece of advice? DO YOUR OWN GRAFFITI OF THE WEEK SECTION! PEOPLE LOVE IT!

Semester 2.. Welcome back, idiot we can't find a reason to expell.

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

I look over at the LED display again.. 3:37 AM. Damn, need sleep want sleep,it's my first day at back at uni tomorrow, another chance to actually put effort in this time and come out with a few Ds. I've got to stop my brain from thinking.. Must sleep, so tired. hurph.. almost.. there..

Down at an English fair..

What.. wha... he.. Stupid brain! Stop thinking random thoughts! Oh dammit I'm awake again.. It's kinda weird.. All I've done this holidays is sleep. I didn't ask the girl out, but I haven't completely cut her off yet, she'll probably meet somebody in 104, damn I need to build a bridge and get over it. Didn't get a job either. Bugger. That Careers fair was complete waste of time, all they wanted were third yearers and people doing computer science or engineering. Screw them all, bet the unlimited supply of Coke at Microsoft is all sour anyways. Humph.

Come on! Fall asleep already! I didn't even get a hobby

One evening I was there,

Oh come on.. just fall asleep.. Must not look at the clock.. Ah crap 3:49.. Where did the last twelve minutes go? I've got to be awake in under 5 hours. I've been getting generally about 9 - 10 hours sleep a night from these weeks off, sure it means sleeping in to 1PM, but damn I feel refreshed afterwards. I even got 13 hours the other night. At least I passed all my units.. but you could of done better... shut up. Yaaaawwnnn.

WHEN I HEARD SOMEBODY SHOUTING UNDERNEATH THE FLAIR...

Sigh. I haven't even sorted out my hard drives. I've got 4TB to sort through before the next LAN! (MITS LANS 4TH September and 2ND of October. Seriously, come along and have some fun.) Ho, hum.. This holidays had so much promise.. Ah.. here it comes... Finally.. Sleep

"Duuuuude..." The guy next to me is now shoving me awake... Wait WHAT?! Memories from my dark bedroom last night fades away and the moot court lecture theatre comes back into focus. Mr Boddington is at front droning on about the CIA triangle, the guy next to me has a strange look on my face as I wipe my eyes and jolt myself awake. I look down and notice the nice patch of drool on my otherwise blank "Notes" page. I glance at the clock. TWO MINUTES SINCE I LAST LOOKED. I sigh, I can't believe in a couple of weeks I'll wonder where the time has gone, ah well. That can wait, sleep.. is.. now...

I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS!

One day I'm going to kill my mind. That's going to be stuck in my head all the way home. Or I could use it as a distraction and dance out of this lecture theatre now.... I look at the clock again.. One more minute has slowly clicked by. One more minute sooner to getting out of here and back home to bed.

Graffiti of the week. Don't lie, you've missed me.

"I've finally got the perfect pen and nothing to write..."

"I wrote on a toilet wall.. TAKE THAT SOCIETY!!"

Why I didn't fail a unit this semester...

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

Results are odd things. You can anticipate them, you can fear them or you can know their outcome and just need confirmation of the good/bad news. Me? I was trying to avoid them, it was a brilliant plan and only thwarted by the face that it was just unfortunate that my mother can operate the Murdoch website to obtain the date of their release. However, I was able to report, by putting less then little effort this semester after being distracted by other things that I managed to somehow obtain 2 Credits and a Pass. To which I was over joyed, I thank that somehow I have managed to avoid delivering the news (touch wood.) that I must relearn a topic, and this time, pretend I care a little bit more, I understand there are those out there which don't have this luxury, I offer a shoulder to cry on and a ridiculously low rate to hack "MyInfo" and alter results.

There really is a ceiling cat!

But seeing this is the season to tie up lose ends at uni for a little bit, I thought I'd turn my attention to several lose ends which I have left unknotted, and proceed to knot them now, before my eventual demise.

In no particular order:

1. That girl I'm stalking doing accounting finally sent me the message of my dreams,

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CREEP. I didn't mind the photos on Flickr, I didn't mind the admiration from a distance, but you can stop hiding in my wardrobe now, seriously, that other night when you came out scared the s%$# out of me."

Seriously, she wrote those expletive marks. How weird is she, I'm glad I got rid of her, the second she started showering with her bathers on it was no fun anymore. (joke.)

2. Here is the pencil case that was offered as a prize for graffiti of the week a while ago

It has served me well during exams and I'm glad I was too lazy to give it to the person who earned it, it's been a great place for my penicillin growing hankies.

3.

The Quenda king made us even

After coming to life and putting through the most enduring physiological/physical/mental test he could think of, (hanging upside down playing chess with water dripping on my feet.) He saw that my wicked ways of the past had ended, and that one day in the future, maybe Lachlan and cute little fuzzy animals could live in harmony without needing any torture. Meh, that comes later when I post to the world what I did to a rat. (joke.)

4. I've applied for 2 jobs. Meaning I now have a sort of resume thing which I can give out at random to passes by. I do hope I get a phone call (and not just another wrong number looking for Mr Ihavva Tiinedick, someone looking for that guy has rang so many times, I hope they do catch up so I can stop fretting that Ihavva Tiinedick, can finally get that phone call and catch up with Ms Thingforr smaalfalics. Look what I'm reduced to. Toilet humour. DAMN YOU JAMIE POTTS, DAMN YOU.) that will mean I might get a job two out of the three things I hoped to achieve this holidays have come through. Third thing in point six, YES, I'm going to be talking about her again, YES, I know your sick of her, YES, you wish I just made jokes about uni again, instead of my not-so-private private life. There will be a humorous post on referencing soon, or other wise my sister will stop reading, speaking of people who will soon stop reading...

5. I've achieved a third follower! Meaning yet another person will get endless emails as I update spelling mistakes in my posts. Lia Roodnat, this probably wasn't what you were meaning to subscribe to, but please enjoy it anyway, and the attention you are getting now. Or at least put rude comments to some back posts, they all look pretty bland. All saying "0 comments." I can't believe zero is technically a plural, I mean, you don't say "0 comment." That's pretty odd. I should bring that up in a "English has gone to hell" rant. and mention this website as proof. No, I can't say anything negative about that website, it's too awesome, and is actually providing a good service to humanity, or at least what's left of it.

6. So did I get the girl? *sighs* I'm asking her out next time I see her, better ruin the friendship sooner rather than later. I'm guessing you want a picture, no? Well, Okay.

Here is a picture of a tree that she took with my camera. Geez, too humiliated to even get a picture of her, normally I'm so swerve, so cool, so, partially funny. Ceiling cat help me, this will be a disaster equalling that of a similar disaster where no one actually got hurt but some people felt really bad for a while.

Ah well, physiologically, she's screwed me up for a good while and this last semester has been fun, only thing missing was the opportunity too light a bag of dog crap on fire and leave it on some one's porch. It's been good and I can count my blessings that I passed everything. There's a few other posts in the works for next semester like "Oh crap I was suppose to learn something last semester..."

7. Red vs Blue is awesome, brought the DVD, killed some time, will be playing it at next MITS lan, no exceptions.

But I shall now leave you with some graffiti sent by another loyal reader Mr Brock Two-really-cool-names-with-lots-of-European-looking-characters-like-that-one-with-the-two-dots-above-it Atkinson.

"the shadow dungeon of ocarina of time still freaks me out..."

Hehe. It doesn't freak me out, win. It's in the library toilet upstairs apparently.

No Brock, no pencil case for you.

I'm on facebook now. look up Lachlan Harris. Will respond positively to all friend requests, with rule 31.

Rule 20.

Rule 30.

Sigh. Okay I'm done.

Wasting time and I HAVE, AN EXPLANATION

My blog does not represent the views of Murdoch or any of its affiliates. All posts are NOT to be taken seriously and are written only for entertainment purposes.

When you think about it, the whole concept of an exam is pretty silly. Let's put a bunch of people in a room and see what they can remember from what they read last night. Or this morning. So it only comes naturally to think about anything except the little blue booklet in front of you and writing in it. So as a quick blog (apparently a two page blog isn't interesting enough to read, despite the good jokes and instructions on how to get free porn/live forever/find the money tree hidden on Murdoch's campus just isn't good enough. People want 140 character things of witty one liners. You can't say anything good in 140 characters!! Micro blogging is silly, just looked at one of my mates it said "I'm hungry" then "I might go get some cake" then "Screw it, I'm going to get cake" AND THEN "That cake was delicious" where as this blog, on the same subject would just say " I LIKE CAKE." There, clear cut and not arbitrary B.S. no stupid little side tangents that create long bogus sentences which rattle on forever.) that will list "the top 6 and a half things to do during an exam if you want to stay to the end but have already finished"

So, without further comment it's, wait a sec, I've done a few lists now, is it bad? I mean.. Nah, i should sell that at market day on tea towels and coffee mugs and those little wood signs that your not sure quite what to do with but parents give them as presents when they don't know what to buy for someone and then go to the markets. Now where was I?? Ah yes,

A list of the top six and a half things to do during an exam if you want to stay to the end but have already finished.

1.  Read the desk. If your lucky and get a lecture theatre, rather than the lame gym, you might score a few poient life reflections made by bygone students, gems like "I'm bored" and "Kilroy was 'ere" and "This lecturer is a (blogger has detected a swear this been omitted)"  It is with gems like these that everyone can enjoy there own little "Graffiti of the exam"

2. Start  writing the lyrics to the song in your head on the back on the question paper. No body reads hear, it's a good way to vent and see if you can actually write the word "Waterloo" without verbalising "Is that really just phonetic?"

3. Sneak a pen. The one little bit of relief (quite literally in an exam.) is the ability to go to the toilet, however, an examiner must stand outside the cubical to assure you don't... um.. how exactly are you going to cheat?? Well anyway, sneak a pen in your pocket as you do, once in the cubical remove the top of the pen and the ink cartridge then proceed to dip the tip of the pen into the water at the bottom of the bowl and blow. If you don't mind a little toilet water (It's just normal tap water!) in you mouth, get as much as you can in your mouth then proceed to squirt it out the pen and over the top of the cubical door. Then as a last finale, take the toilet roll of the holder, and proceed to roll it out the door. WHAT DOES ALL THIS ACHIEVE? My loyal ex-co-worker-readers are asking. Well, It freaks out the guy outside. WHY DO YOU WANT TO DO THAT? You have to admit, with how silent that guy has to be its freakin' hilarious. YOUR STILL ODD AND WE CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ARE CURRENTLY UNEMPLOYED. Well, thank you...

4. Do a writers commentary. Most likely during the writing, you've been leaving spaces for if you have another brilliant idea, and if you don't already do it, cause it helps. You've finished. All that white space can now be used for cheap laughs, hey put the marker in a good mood and you never know, you might even get a extra marks. Okay probably not, but if your willing to write random comments like "Can you tell I'm nervous, here." or "Wow, that sentence doesn't even have a verb!" Your probably optimistic enough to believe that it will.

5. Advertise. Yes I am that vein that the person marking my ICT256 six assignment will be pointed to this very blog.

6. By now, you should of realised I like to entertain the reader of my exam booklet and one my of faves is related but useless facts I now have the anecdote that a fact I provided in my ICT108 lecture was ALLEGEDLY repeating in this year's lecture. Soon everyone will know that a cat sees at 200 fps! Yeah, get that on CS with your 280 and finally your cat too cat enjoy all the fun of killing someone.

1/2. Walk out. Seriously. Between the first half hour and before the last ten minutes you can leave. Go home.

BONUS BLOG!

What Lachlan Said

What random blog reader said

Seriously man, what is up with the "I had my mind on other things this semester" and the goobledy gook a few blogs back?

You really wanna know?

YES.

Okay, well... earlier this year, I sorta met this girl.

...

and...

that's it, I met a girl, then I kinda fell for her

yes, but how do you class that for not doing much work this semester?

She was all I could think of.

FOR FOURTEEN FLIPPING WEEKS YOU WERE OVERLOADED WITH TESTOSTERONE? That is weak dude.

Yeah but, I mean, have you ever, gone after a girl

Yes, and I got her, she's my girlfriend now and has been for 14 months now and I've been able to juggle going out with her with my 3rd year law studies

Dude, don't you remember that feeling when you first met her

Yes mutual attraction, it's not that big of a deal.

She's just awesome, and makes me feel stupi..

Dude you are, please tell me you're passing all your units though, right? I mean, you can at least pass them?

I'll possibly fail two.

WTF. SERIOUSLY. YOU ARE SACRIFICING TWO UNITS? FOR A PERSON WHO YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW?

Worth it. Totally.

No, it's not. Loser. Look, please tell me you've got some action, something to make it worth it?

No. but we've chatted on msn, and if I ever sign up to facebook, I'll probably add her there too.

(facepalm) 

and plus we have hung out in Freo.  

Oh hanging out in Freo, big whoop.

Dude, I'm weird and I'm a geek, female friends are hard to come by, and she's just beyond awesome.

So you share stuff in common with a girl at uni? You really are making a big deal out of nothing..

Hey I got her phone number, that's what all the goobledy gook was.

1. She probably gives that out to lots of people

2. You are writing about her on your blog without consent, that's illegal, oh and plus she could find it. Have you told her about this blog?

Yes, but I tell everyone

Well what's she going to think when she looks it up and finds she's being talked about. It's pretty obvious you're such a weirdo, that you'll do all these elaborate lies to try and cover up who you really are, so that will make her go on your blog to find out who you really are underneath the charade.

Oh (blogger has detected a swear this been omitted)

And that, your Honour, is when I punched him unconscious.

Time wasted having a crush - some may percieve this as not save for work, you have been warned.